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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23309860">What Hardships Bring...</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/misa_pb/pseuds/misa_pb'>misa_pb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Prison Break</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Doctors &amp; Physicians, F/M, Family, Love, Virus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:22:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>58,418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23309860</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/misa_pb/pseuds/misa_pb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Scofields during the Covid-19 pandemic. Michael and Sara have slowly build a new life together in Chicago, when the virus bring a new storm into their lives. Will they be able to overcome these challenges ? Will they be able to save their family ? How will these hardships impact their couple ?</p><p>Starring Mike and their 6 months old baby girl. Set post-season 5.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Scofield &amp; Michael Scofield Jr., Michael Scofield Jr. &amp; Sara Tancredi, Michael Scofield/Sara Tancredi, original child - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. We are here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"We are here."  -  the title is a traduction of the french movement Yellow Vests and co's anthem song. We're here for each other, even if the coronavirus and quarentine had wrenched us apart, we're here to back up and support our amazing doctors and make the world a better place, hopefully, we're here and together, we'll get through this. </p><p>One Shot.</p><p>(I had written this a week ago, on the begining days of quarentine, I hadn't planned so but now, with me actually having the coronavirus, there is maybe more to explore and I might make a sequel when I am better.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The children had been put to sleep, Michael insisting on them keeping a normal rythm of sleep even if they were home.</p><p>It had been now 9 days, 9 days since Michael hadn't got to work, 11 since Mike had stopped school. Much more since Sara had joined the war, right in the battle fields.</p><p>Michael had seen rough days, more than these, but while usually it was solely his world that would collapse, now it was the world around his that was collapsing and that seemed weird.</p><p>Michael had only gotten out twice since the quarentine imposed by the government, with his attestation, masks and gloves ofcourse. It had been once to complete some of their needs and buy some medical supplies, fill up more gel and get some paracetamol essentially, and the second time to buy milk when he realised the formula they had stocked for Faith wouldn't last that much and if he hated the impulsive behaviors of stocking means, he couldn't fathom not having any milk left to feed their 6 months old baby.</p><p>The world had seemed strange, on one side there was an almost scary stillness where the only sounds to be heard were birds chirping, and on the other side, too much people still behaved irresponsibly. He knew most people still went out at least once, to have a jog or let the dog out, people still going to supermarkets and making long lines to only buy their regular can of soda and frozen pizza.</p><p>Michael couldn't imagine that, even if living in their flat situated in the centre of Chicago was hard, their couple of meters balcony hardly enough to take some air.</p><p> Mike didn't showed it but he'd started to be affected, he'd snap at times, get a little grumpy. The balcony was a place where he'd wander quite a number of times in the days, his eyebrows furrowing in worry at seeing army officers down the streets through the day, and his eyes twinkling at 8pm when the whole neighborhood clapped and made noise for the doctors and medical staff, in whom was his mother.</p><p>Still, Michael didn't think taking Mike and Faith out, even just down the neighborhood would be a good idea, the parks had been locked by police forces anyway and Michael's LLI amplified the vision of each possible risk of contamination, door handles, lift buttons, the air outside, bars, cars, keys..</p><p>Faith didn't mind, her routine only disturbed by days at daycare replaced with days with daddy and she didn't seem to mind that much, for Mike ofcourse, it was harder. Not seeing friends or taking air, doing work at home..</p><p>Michael's own days were pretty rough, he had to telework from home, even if right now he put his whole career into interrogation, what was the need to make plans and structural verification as well as useless corporate bureaucratie while people were dying everyday ?</p><p>Afterall, they had said that all the 'useless' jobs would be told to stay home and Michael realised that even if his paycheck had many 0's to it, his job hadn't got meaning nor purpose in the society. Cleaners, rubbish men, hypermarkets counter workers, train dtivers, they all served much more a purpose than him.</p><p>And Sara ? She was essential to this world. Michael had always admired her profession, but even more so now. She was like a vital organ of the society, while he was a tiny nail that had no real purpose and could be replaced anyhow.</p><p>Honestly not putting his heart into work, Michael then would homeschool Mike, which even if Mike was a brillant kid, was not so easy. All the distractions and stimuli around the house used to distract himself more than Mike. And Faith, when she wasn't napping didn't really appreciate her dad being with Mike and would do everything to get Michael's attention. </p><p>Anyhow even with all that, Michael still felt the time was hard to pass, there was nothing to do. God hadn't he longed to take a leave and be home to do millions of things, but now his heart or brain didn't felt like doing anything. </p><p>He'd read when he could, trying to get his mind off of things. But  he couldn't really concentrate too long on reading eaither. His mind too preoccupied.</p><p>He wouldn't say he wasn't worried, their family was all young and healthy...apart from Sara, who had had hypertension when she was pregnant with Faith and even though it was manageable now, Michael knew it was one of the things that worsened most of covid-19 cases. He hoped, prayed she wouldn't be contamined, but her being in direct contacts with the patients made it seem inevitable.</p><p>When he realised it was useless to play around because he was obviously too preoccupied by it, Michael would put on the TV, at least a couple of hours at day specially after dinner, and watch the news, watch them count the contamined and see the number of deaths rise day by day, hear the president and prime minister, doctors and specialists that spoke almost everyday. </p><p>Michael knew it was anxiogene, stressful, that watching them dramatise things and make histerical polemics had no sense, that whatever their leaders said on tv, the situation in the hospitals was a whole other world.</p><p>The door opened and he saw Sara's figure in the hall as she discarded her keys, bag and shoes. </p><p>She came into the light of the hall and he could see her worn and exhausted features. She brushed a hand through her neglected hair and mustered a smile for him.</p><p>"Hi." She greeted. </p><p>Michael would want to take her in his arms if he didn't knew better. </p><p>"Hey, how was the day?" He asked knowing the anwser as Sara let herself fall on the sofa and he shifted closer, massing her tense shoulders as she closed her eyes.</p><p>'and we assure, we have done our best to prepare for this sanitary crisis, and we support all of our doctors and...'  </p><p>"For god's sake Michael, put off this shit!" she snapped and Michael was surprised, he reached for the remote and put the tv off.</p><p>"Sara?" Michael asked, rarely seeing the ever so composed and strong Sara swearing as if she was his brother.</p><p>She toyed with her fingers nervously. "I just can't bear to hear their nonesense anymore, we haven't got enough masks, or, or enough beds, we have to decide which patient has mild symptoms enough to be laid on a sheet on the floor of our corridors."</p><p>Michael sighed and kissed her tense temple. "I am sorry, how was your day, how are the kids ?" Sara asked immediately, his touch soothing her immensely as she leant in his embrace. </p><p>"Good, we're good and they're both asleep, go get cleaned up and changed, I'll heat you some dinner huh ?" Michael suggested and Sara nodded. "Thanks." she murmured grateful and he observed her tired legs take her upstairs. </p><p>Sara went straight to the bathroom and washed her hands and face, she looked at herself in the mirror, she truly looked like she'd came back from war, when was the last time she had plucked her brows already ? </p><p>She wiped her face and changed her scrubs for a confortable pair of pajama, composed of leggings and one of Michael's tee shirt. </p><p>She then, in the dim lights of their lamps made her way to Mike's room, brushing her boy's hair, she kissed his forehead, feeling guilty for not spending enough time with him, too busy to save the world. He was her patient and understanding son, he surely wouldn't ever complain but that made the guilt even greater. </p><p>Sara made her way to her baby daughter's room, watching her from afar sleeping in her crib with her fists adorably resting on the sides of her head. Sara smiled, her girl never failing to apease her heart, she went closer to the crib, knowing not to wake her she simply stroked one of that fist of hers with a finger and whispered a good night. </p><p>She went back downstairs and sat with her head in her hands, the day's events coming back to eat at her.</p><p>Michael came with a steaming plate of pasta, the only thing they made nowdays and a bottle of water, he set them on the dining table and looked at Sara. </p><p>"Dinner's ready." He announced with a small smile and saw Sara raise her head from her hands and wipe at her tears.</p><p>Michael's heart broke, she was crying....Sara never cried, not unless it was too hard on her.</p><p>"Hey ? you're crying ?" He asked coming to squat in front of her and holding her hands.</p><p>"I am not." she stubbornly took one of his hand and wiped at her eye.</p><p>"Sweetheart I know this situation is hard, but know that you are doing an amazing job and that we're all behind you.." Sara sniffed locking eyes with him.</p><p>"It's not that Michael. I have been on this situation for days, it's not doing my job and saving lives that is the problem." He gently stroked her knee. </p><p>"Then what is ?" he asked caringly.</p><p>"I lost a patient today, but it's not even that I mean I am a doctor I lose patients everyday. But today, I lost a patient because there werent enough respirators and I had to make a choice....I let a 54 years old man die so I could save a 31 years old woman...." Sara wept and Michael inhaled, his own heart breaking a little. </p><p>"I hate that, losing patients because of their health is another thing, but we are losing them because we are not enough, because we don't have enough means...I feel like I killed him, I mean he had a chance, and I made that decision to rob it off of him.." She sniffed and Michael resisted the urge to cradle her against him.</p><p>"Oh Sara.." He rubed her hair and felt her holding back. What could he say to make this better. He opted for holding her cheeks, gently stroking the slightly bruised area on her skin due to intensive work and wearing the same mask all day. </p><p>"You know that there are some patients that are old, some that are sick already, you can't save them all." He gently whispered.</p><p>Sara shook her head with misery. <br/>"But he wasn't that old Michael, he was 54, a decade and some more than us !" she protested and Michael looked down, knowing there was no way to get around this, to make it okay, so he'd just have her to accept it.</p><p>"If he was sick, if he was old it would have been different, he had a chance !! I took it from him. I am a doctor and....what am I doing ?" Sara's eyes filled again and Michael felt anger against the government. </p><p>They had both voted for them, in order to block the extreme right. But their ideology was more and more disgusting to Michael's eyes and he disagreed deeply with them, these past couple of years had been a mess, with destructive reforms and rising movements of protests all over the country. </p><p>The few months that preceeded the coronavirus themselves had been pretty chaotics, Michael had to stop going to the office for 6 weeks, because things were too wild while Sara kept working but getting there was harder day by day and as a supporter of the protest, she was all the more a target on police forces list.</p><p>Michael was more of an intellectual fighter, writing, reading and eventually taking part in AGs, but due to her profession, even on that level Sara was straight in the battle field and god he loved her for fighting for her ideas but it didn't scare him any less, seeing the number of deaths and the loss of limbs or eyes that most protestants were victims of. </p><p>He remember these same doctors  fighting for more means, asking them to stop destroying and rentabilizing hospitals. </p><p>Sara herself used to tell him things, on how they had thrown a patient out because he was a cost without benefits as his disease had no cure, and how three weeks later, they had taken that same patient in and purposely prolonged his stay because an operation was possible and that suddenly made the profits higher than the costs. </p><p>Sara had called it a masscarade. She had also told him, anticipating the scandal that now was happening that they had decided not to replace the stock of masks, FFP2 specially, that was slowly expiring. She had called it irresponsible.</p><p>These doctors had raised their voices, ans he still remember the red-rimmed-eyes, coughing, limping, five months pregnant<br/>Sara coming home after an action in front of their hospital. He had cried, all night holding her hand after she assured him she had seen her doctor and that the baby was okay. But his heart hurt, who deserved that ?</p><p>Certainly not them, them who fought everyday to save lives and just became a sacrifice in the name of public debt and savings and economy, on the plate of political ideology. </p><p>And now, so many people were dying, and he knew, as Sara just said, not dying from the virus, dying from the destruction of health that had been made of their hospitals.</p><p>Michael sighed and held her hands, peeling them away from her face to alt her weeping.</p><p>"You are a great doctor Sara, and an even greater human being. Know that I am so proud of you, that Mike is so proud of you, that even Faith clap for you at 8pm..." Michael let out and Sara smiled a little, imagining her tiny daughter adorably clapping with her chubby palms to immitate her brother and everyone else. </p><p>"You're saving lives and you're doing your best and this, is not your fault, it's not on you. You're soldiers Sara, and you all are fighting as hell, not for a nation or a flag but for humanity, but if you send soldiers to fight without weapons, they're only so little they can do."  Michael assured and Sara locked eyes with him nodded and sniffing, swallowing her tears.</p><p>Shd held his hands that were on her cheeks and smiled a little. "Thank you Michael, this is hard and maybe I still won't ever forgive myself for these deaths but your words...your words matter. I - thank you so much." </p><p>Michael shook his head at the futily of her thanking. "you're the best. we can get through this, together." he naïvely murmured kissing the top of her head and she chuckled wiping at the rest of her tears and he smiled at her.</p><p>"Come here." He rose and took her in his arms, she gently stroked his chest through the cotton fabric of his shirt, with all her affection, as she was used to, and she pressed a kiss against his chest.</p><p>"I'm so glad I have you, I love you." Sara admitted and Michael smiled against her hair, inhaling her familiar scent. "Me too, sweetheart."  her heart melted at that combinaison of words and she just closed her eyes for a while.</p><p>"Come on now, your pasta will get cold." Michael rose and held her hand, helping her tired bones rise too. </p><p>Sara laughed a little. "Pasta again ? we've done spaguettis, macaronis, pennes, fusilis what's next ?" Michael raised the plate with one hand imitating a waiter.</p><p>"Now presenting you classic home made coquillettes." Sara laughed taking a seat at the dining table.</p><p>"They smell lovely." She smiled at Michael and he was so glad he was there for her, he couldn't imagine what it was for the doctors that got  back to empty houses and let these  dark thoughts drown them. </p><p>"Would have made you some cordon bleu but well, the restrictions of qurentine." He shrugged watching her eat.</p><p>"It's okay, you know I am not too keen on meat lately, its good in old great pizzas and lasagnas, but fried meat kind of disgusts me now." Michael chuckled.</p><p>"Next you're turning vegan." He teased. </p><p>"Might do so. Hhmm..Michael this sauce is lovely." Sara commented before using the fork to eat a new moutful of pasta.</p><p>"Yeah ? it's my new secret receipe, Faith seems to love it too, she always licks it from Mike's plate with her fingers." Michael smiled shaking his head.</p><p>"And he doesn't say anything ?" Sara asked surprisingly. </p><p>Mike loved his sister but he was, like his dad, a neat freak, someone touching his plate with their fingers was an abberation to him.</p><p>"Well first he was all annoyed by it, you know him, how grumpy he is since school closed, but now they seemed to have made a game out of it i don't know he just laughs histerically whenever she does it and Faith laughs too." Sara grinned laughing a little too.</p><p>"Aww, i love them." She let out.</p><p>"And we love you." Michael promised squeezing the hand of hers that she wasn't eating with.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Those Who Are Nothing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>- the title is an ironical quoting of french president Macron calling a certain category of workers as nothings, well, today, my warm thank you to the doctors first hand, but also the grocery stores workers, the factory workers, the poor farmers, the teachers, the street cleaners, the train drivers, the bakers, the energy workers and everyone else that are making our world run, these peeps, they're actually everything.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It started early in the week, on monday, these two unsettling symptoms she couldn't shake. First she had had headaches, which was pretty normal considering the crazy rythm of shifts she was on, doing 12 to 14 hours straight..</p><p>Then came the throatache, but that too, was a regular angine symptom she always got in winter, and whenever there was a temperature shift, after all they would pass to summer hours in a few days and the weather had changed noticably from grey cold rainy windy minus degrees days to blossoming spring sunny days. And such a weather change always triggered mild angines or allergies, it happened every year, Sara as a doctor, certainly knew that. </p><p>The first abnormal thing she noticed was panting, she was panting and at loss of breath for the first time after climbing a set of stairs while carrying groceries. But she thought maybe she had just taken them too quick or was really tired from the enormous effort work took her these days.</p><p> But it happened again, at night when she was laying down since a while and not doing any kind of effort, removing a sleeping Michael's arm from her because she simply felt like she hadn't got enough air. It happened all the times, while sitting, walking, working, driving, laying...</p><p>The second one was, chest pains. They were not intensely painful, the first few times, she barely noticed them. They werent dull lasting pains either. They were exactly like...contractions. The left side of her chest squeezing tightly for seconds or at maximum a minute and then letting go, and they came every few hours at a completely random intervalle pattern.</p><p>She knew inside, that the symptoms were perfectly corresponding to those of the covid-19. But she shook it off, thinking she might be overanalysing things, being paranoid, she didn't even felt that sick, she didn't see the need to worry Michael and Mike, to put more useless charge on the medical system and moreover, she was a doctor and there was no time she was more needed than now. </p><p>On the other side, she had that fear too, that if she was indeed positive, she could, admidt all the protections, infect patients.</p><p>But that couldn't be right ? Sara sat in the almost empty train and rested her head against the window, watching the sunset's orange glows on the blossoming flowers of spring trees.</p><p>She was exhausted, and moved, something was tender in her heart, and that had more to do with her emotional health than her mental one. She just needed to hug her children tight right now, they didn't knew how much of a reconfort they were to her, crush Mike against her chest, breath in Faith's adorable baby scent, she was the only oblivious member of their family, and Sara admired her innocence so much, god she saw herself in that little girl of theirs..and she would protect her forever. </p><p>Her phone buzzed and she opened up the notification, she had closed off all medias and news notifications, it got to her head, the notification came from her work group chat, a link had been sent to a virtual test for the coronavirus...Sara bit her lip, how many chances that test had to be actually accurate ? it wouldn't hurt to do it right ?</p><p>After anwsering the twenty questions of the test amongst which were questions such as are you overweight or pregnant, was she pregnant again ? she doubted for a second, pills had a certain failure rate, but then no...she had had her period a couple of weeks back, she waited for the results.</p><p>"You are possibly a case of covid-19, please contact your doctor and if your symptoms worsen, call 911." </p><p>Sara raised her eybrows, yeah, right, the government hadn't been able to send them a set of masks, how would they make a medically accurate test ? She closed off the window and put off her phone, putting it down on the empty seat beside her and closing her eyes, her head hurt and she still had five stops to go, enough to nap at least for ten minutes.</p><p>........</p><p>Sara walked in her alley till home right as the clock struck 8 pm. All the neighborhood seemed to have joined their windows and balconies right that instant and began clapping and cheering in honor of doctors, nurses and medical staff, she stilled for a moment, she was thankful ofcourse, but her cynical self knew better, these cheers had no use to a doctor who lost several lives a day. </p><p>And she felt the heavy weight of the paper note she had found in their mail box this morning, in her pocket. </p><p>This was just like the philanthropy trend some billionaires as Bill Gates had set, everyone supported, shared and raised awareness, made donation to the poor african kids that felt so miserable yet so far, but if in front of them, wouldn't even bother to look at. </p><p>Doctors felt the same, supported but with a certain layer of distance and haughtiness. They were empathy from them, as long as they stayed away in their misery.</p><p>She closed their entrance door behind her right when Michael shut the balcony sliding glass door, ushering the children inside.</p><p>She saw the pan and spoon in Mike's hand and raised her eybrows, chuckling. At least some souls, as her children were absolutely genuine and Sara knew and appreciated that.</p><p>"Hey." She greeted.</p><p>Michael looked up and smiled.</p><p>"You're home early." He noticed with a smile and Sara shrugged.</p><p>"Mom!" Mike ran up to her but Sara stopped him midway raising her hands up, she went to wash them and change her scrubs first thing. </p><p>By then, Michael had settled Mike in bed and was sitting on the bed, Faith in his arms playing with one of her brother's book. </p><p>Sara stepped in and made a beeline for Mike, hugging him tight and kissing the top of his head. </p><p>"I love you, you know that ?" she let out and Mike held her arms.</p><p>"Me too mom, I did an artwork Mrs.Lucas gave me today, can I show it to you ?" Mike asked and Sara nodded, he left the bed to his desk and Sara took Faith in her lap.</p><p>"How is my baby girl ? enjoying dada huh ?" she asked and Faith babled something back showing her a winnie illustration on the book, Sara kissed her temple and held her as Mike showed her his painting work and she complimented it, in awe of how well he drew, she still remembered how clumsy her sketches of heart and other organs still were in medical school. </p><p>Once Mike was tucked in bed, they left his room and Michael reached to take Faith from her. </p><p>"Give her to me, I'll put her to sleep." Sara kept Faith in her arms.</p><p>"I can still take care of my daughter Michael." She almost snapped out of nowhere and Michael frowned..</p><p>Okay..she was tired and cranky lately, the work stress might be too much on her but this ?</p><p>Michael shook it off, in nature, more patient than her, he knew her straining routine and passed over it.</p><p>"Do you want me to heat some food ?" He asked and Sara sighed, no she did not want him to be at her service and could do things on her own, beside she wasn't feeling like eating.</p><p>"I am not hungry.." Sara shrugged and Michael let her alone, knowing not to push her for now, at least.</p><p>Sara took Faith inside her room and laid her on her changing table,  pecking her nose she changed her, checking her nappy too but Michael must have just changed it as it was completely dry. </p><p>Sara buttoned her pajama jumper and gently stroked her chest as she tenderly ran her hand through her hair.</p><p>"Come here." she quipped lovingly carrying her back up against her chest and kissing her again, lovingly. </p><p>She rocked her softly, as Faith gladly snuggled against her, burrying her face in her shoulder and gripping onto her shirt, Sara heard her sigh softly..and almost held her closer, rubbing her back and pressing occasional kisses to the top of her carrot haired head. </p><p>Faith's breathing evened out as she quickly fell asleep but Sara held her a little longer, feeling the need to do so, she cradled her head in her hand..as her heart warmed up. She was so glad to have her, she couldn't imagine losing her in any circumstances. </p><p>Sara still remembered the scare she gave them at her birth, she wouldn't breath nor cry once she was born...they had to incubate her, a newborn baby so small compared to those wires and tubes, and it had broken her heart. The sight still flashing before her eyes. </p><p>She bent her tired eyes to look at Faith's beautiful and peaceful sleeping features and smiled a little, placing her in her crib and taking her time to cover her properly, once she was settled, Sara watched her sleeping for a minute then forced herself to leave her room.</p><p>............</p><p>Michael was waiting for her in their bedroom but she made a beeline for the bathroom without even looking at him, she brushed her teeth and her hair, getting ready for bed too.</p><p>She came back and saw Michael put a book down and point at her bedside table. "Made you some tea with honey." He gently said and Sara felt something break inside her, why was he like that, already ?</p><p>Tea with honey would actually sooth her throat. "Thank you." she murmured and made her way to her side of the bed, sitting squarely and grabbing the steamy mug, as she began to drink the tea and let it's scent sooth her head.</p><p>"You know I'm here, if you wanna talk." Michael started putting a hand on her knee. </p><p>Sara plainly ignored him. "I can see there's something wrong Sara."  he added.</p><p>Sara sighed, putting the empty mug down to the bedside table. "Will you stop acting like my psychoanalyst and be my husband for once ?" She demanded, something fierce shining in her eyes.</p><p>Michael looked at her and...oh..</p><p>"Look at me like I'm your wife!" she snapped and Michael swore he felt like taking her her clothes off right there and making love to her.</p><p>But that would be the wrong move. And whether Sara liked it or not he always made calculated and rational decisions. </p><p>It wasn't like he didn't wanted her because god he did, with all the time home in quarentine, the familiarity of their home and her scent always close to him, the desire in him wanted to have her right whenever she stepped home. Her scrubs always had something more, something that made her look sinfully attractive to him. Afterall, he fell in love with her in a doctor attire, for the first few months.</p><p>It was true that it had been a while, but she was always tired and her muscles sore, he would never impose her sex after a day of hectic shifts like she had these days.</p><p>But he knew what she was doing, something was bothering her right now, and she wanted to burry it into hard frustrated sex. That wouldn't help. </p><p>She should know it wouldn't. Sara and her, they made love, and he would never make use of her body to satisfy himself knowing she wasn't mentally fine. </p><p>"I see you.." He locked eyes with her and clasped her hand. "I see you, and I see that you're beautiful and I want you...but I also see that you're not okay right now, that something is eating at you..." he began and she looked down, taking her hand back from his grasp.</p><p>Michael ignored her attempts and stroked her bare arm.</p><p>"Sara ? you remember that not telling me would be lying, and you never lie to me.  I did, again and again, and see where it got us, it just create distance between us and separate us. So I want you to tell me the truth, not create the defense mecanism of fighting me or even escape sex.."</p><p>Sara's heart was touched by his words, god he was good. He knew her so well..</p><p>She sighed and got up, reaching for her pocket from where she slipped out the note she had found this morning and handed it to Michael.</p><p>"Mr. and Mrs.Scofield,<br/>
      We know that Mrs.Scofield is a doctor, and so, directly in contact with the coronavirus contamined patients. She is likely to be dangerous for our building and our community, by spreading the deadly disease between our children and sick elders. In regards of that, it is on a humble request that we ask you and your family to go live somewhere else during this crisis. Or else, there will be consequences..." </p><p>Michael frowned and looked up at Sara. </p><p>"I found it in the mail, this morning." She simply explained.</p><p>Michael gulped, he had heard it, on TV, that some nurses and doctors were sent treats and blackmialing notes, never would he have imagined it would be the case for Sara.</p><p>"Sara..you know that this is bluff, they aren't doing anything, they can't do anything." He assured. </p><p>Sara sighed looking ahead and he despied that cynical of an expression on her face. </p><p>"It doesn't matter Michael, whenever i am out in scrubs, everyone look at me like I'm some kind of ghost. I don't even know if this is worth it anymore.." She stated shaking her head.</p><p>Michael's heart constricted. No. She needed not to lose hope, she needed her passion to fight and save lives.</p><p>"Ofcourse its worth it, think about all the lives you save Sara, who know, tomorrow you're gonna be saving the same ones that sent this note. You matter sweetheart, you're the only ones that matter actually." </p><p>"We're useless Michael, we're just  in the hands of the system. I can't be the change..I am nothing." </p><p>"Don't you dare say that, you're everything. What would all these people do without you, the dark circles under your eyes, the strain in your muscles, this mental state, it's all the symbol of how much of a fighter you are. Don't let them get to you, you save lives Sara, that's what matter." Michael pointed squeezing her hand.</p><p>She laid down, holding onto him, finally giving in and he followed her, holding onto her hands as he saw her swallow and prepare herself.</p><p>"You heard about that 15 years old girl who died ?" Sara asked, nervously playing with their entwined hands.</p><p>Michael nodded, of course he had, it had made the headlines all day. She had died because she hadn't got insurance and the hospital refused her.</p><p>Sara looked up with tired eyes. "I was the one, the doctor who couldn't admit her..it was three days ago.." Sara sighed, frowning.</p><p>Michael let out a low gasp realising, and Sara observed him, he must have had cursed that doctor when he heard the news.</p><p>"It wasn't your fault.." he began and Sara cut him.</p><p>"Her mother contacted me today, she broke my heart Michael, she said she would cry whenever she heard the news and she said she wasn't angry at me and just wished I never felt the pain she was feeling...but she asked me.....what would I have done if it was my daughter ?" Sara breathed keeping the tears in.</p><p>"Sara..whatever she said, she is a mother, and she lost a child, she was grieving." Michael said rubbing her knuckles.</p><p>"No, no, no. She wasn't at all saying crazy things in grief Michael, whatever she said was all rational, she was right. It's our world that's not. How could I let her baby girl die ?? I should have treated her, and to hell if I got fired." Sara finally snapped recalling the hospital policy speech she had given to the begging mom's tearful eyes. </p><p>She recalled her pleas, of how she'd work till breaking her bones to pay back the health loan, the woman was jobeless since the quarentine. </p><p>What kind of a world did they live in ? </p><p>That woman herself was an employee at a walmart, she was, without any protections, working for these same people, risking her live everyday so they could, for the dumbest make tons of stocks of means and for the others, have something to eat. She was essential, and this same society was denying any help to her daughter ? This same society was refusing to pay for the damage it had itself caused, because how many chances were that the mother herself transmitted the virus to her daughter from her workplace ?</p><p>She felt Michael held her against him. "She didn't knew you, I know you Sara, I know if it was your call you'd have saved that girl." Michael kissed her hair and she held onto him, feeling terrible for having gotten her anger out on him, but we only show our feelings to those we love the most right ?</p><p>"I feel like a murderer Michael, what's the use of being a doctor if your role isn't saving lives, but saving the lives with the fullest bank account ?" Sara chuckled.</p><p>She knew she saved a dozen of lives everyday, that she, medically always did her best. She had always anticipated things since the start of the covid crisis, even when things went crazy she did her best to keep calm and treat each patient with full attention. </p><p>Michael closed his eyes pained. He wanted to shake her own words back at her, tell her that she cared too much, that she needed some detachement right now, or else she wouldn't be able to keep going. </p><p>But wasn't he the hope speech one ? how could he even make it better ?  The wheels in his head began turning and he...he suddenly had a plan...to make this better, but it'll have to wait, to wait for the world to be better. </p><p>In the meanwhile he simply held her, letting her rant her pain out. </p><p>Sara breathed in, what if it had actually been Faith ? Wouldn't she have broken the law to save her life ? Like she did with Lincoln ? Was her father right ? Did she only bent the law when it was in her interest ? </p><p>"I am selfish.." She let out after a while of calm. </p><p>"How so ?" Michael asked, stroking her hair.</p><p>"I am making this all about me, it's that mother who lost, it's her pain that matters and it's gonna haunt me all my life." Sara miserably ended, drying any eventual tears. </p><p>She even feared secretly, that karma would play a cruel game, and attack her little Faith...</p><p>What if Michael lost his job or that they lost the house and were actually poor, and that even if they managed to live with that, a world pandemic would happen and Faith fell sick ? </p><p>Sara blinked, it maybe wasn't the doctor in her that hurt the most. It was the mother's heart that ached.</p><p>"You're not selfish Sara, you care, you always have, and sometimes, that's what gets to you." Sara closed her tired eyelids. Maybe Michael was right, she was just tired and uncoherant and needed some sleep.</p><p>Yeah, sleep felt like a great idea right now. </p><p>"I love you, and I am proud of you." Michael said affectionally, holding her close to himself and rubbing her bare arms.</p><p>"I love you too Michael...and I am sorry for being a complaining cry baby these days." Sara mumbled eyes still closed and Michael smiled slightly, was she half asleep already ?</p><p>"Well you do give a tough competition to Faith.." He teased.</p><p>Sara opened her heavy eyelids and frowned at him, Michael smiled and laughed slightly, kissing her forehead, she was a bit too tired and out of it. </p><p>"You're not, you're not. Goodnight sweetheart." He whispered and felt her muffled "G'night." back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Since I've added a chapter and decided to make this a multi-chapter story, the title has been changed to a more general one.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3 - She Was a Good Person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title inspired by Michael's quote :  "Her name was Sara, and she was a good person." - season 3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sara opened her eyes, a shiver running through her, she was cold. Terribly cold. </p><p>Her eyes felt heavy and like they were burning though. She curled on herself in a ball to have some body heat and actually her whole body was burning, her legs were hot. </p><p>Everything hurt, she had a terrible headache. She probably had fever. Yeah... Where did she put that thermometer already ? Bathroom, medical cabinet, top right drawer. </p><p>She had to go get it.... thermometer..it was in a red box, with an italic blue writing. Her eyes burned so much...and why was it so cold ? </p><p>Focus Sara...the thermometer...it flashed before her eyes but she couldn't get up, she was terribly out of it. </p><p>She couldn't get warm..but why was she burning then ? her head hurt so much..</p><p>She probably had fever...no doubt. Skipping the thermometer she should have some paracetamol, with water....yeah...water sounded so good...water..</p><p>There was no way she could by herself, the bottle itself seemed so, so heavy....Michael ? should she wake Michael ?</p><p>He'd worry...but then she needed him...Michael ? Where was he ? Sleeping on her right side, as always.</p><p>Michael ? why couldn't she call him or feel her voice...was it because of the pain in her throat ?</p><p>No..she didn't think she lost her voice already...Michael ? Could he just instinctively feel she was in pain ? Michael....</p><p>What had he worn today ? a blue shirt ? god that man loved blue...all shades of it. It made her want to smile, blue, like his gorgeous eyes, like the sea...like waves crashing against sandy beaches....it would be so warm..warmer than this icy cold night.</p><p>Michael appeared through the door..wasn't he sleeping beside her ? who cared...he was so handsome...his blue eyes, olive skin, the same contrasting colors as a beach, his face was coated with worry, he bent over her, pressing his palm to her forehead and gasped...and then..then everything went black.</p><p>...........</p><p>Sara opened her burning eyes to the sun blinding her, she looked beside her and the bed was empty. She could hear Mike and Michael's talking as well as Faith's uncoherant pitter patter. </p><p>She looked at her bedside clock. 9.22 am. She still felt cold..and like she was burning up, a little less though, much less than in the night. Her head felt like it would explode. </p><p>Did Michael knew she was sick ? Had he really gotten up to check her fever in the night or was that a dream ? or an hallucination ? or whatever. </p><p>She forced herself to sit up and made her way down the hall to their open kitchen space. </p><p>"Good morning." Michael greeted with a smile, complitely oblivious of her state.</p><p>"Hey.." Sara smiled, seeing her family, it sent a rushing gush of love through her heart, she was feeling so lonely last night  Like caged in a grave. </p><p>"Mom, do you want pancakes ?" Mike gently offered and Sara kindly smiled. "No thanks Mike, you eat."  Michael turned to look at her from where he was baking the pancakes, Faith sitting on her high chair and making a mess close by.</p><p>"You on a day off ?" Michael asked, he had seen her deep alseep, she always woke by his movements or by herself if she had to work, maybe an inconscient duty that's in your head. But the way she slept, not caring about the sun or the noise or anything, her mind could only be at the ease of a full day off ahead of her.</p><p>"No...I might call in sick though.." Sara mumbled rubbing her forehead.</p><p>"That's cool mom ! Can you help me do my chemistry homework then ?" Mike asked enthousiastically and Faith babbled trying to get her attention. </p><p>"We'll see Mike." Sara simply anwsered, not wanting to scare any of them, and certainly not Mike.</p><p>"Good morning Faith, I see you baby, just not sure I can touch you, but I'm here." Sara adressed Faith gently and waved at her, Faith laughed, tapping her fist on the tray of the high chair.</p><p>"You're tired?" Michael frowned at her last statement.</p><p>"I think I had fever last night, high fever, I felt delirious and so cold, but my body was hot and I think I called you, didn't you check my temperature yourself ?" Sara asked and Michael frowned.</p><p>"No..no...you slept through the whole night. You were coughing for a while, and I thought I should maybe wake you to check on you but then didn't wanted to disturb your sleep." </p><p>"I might have dreamed it then...but you were wearing this exact shirt." Sara pointed and Michael chuckled sitting beside her with the plate of pancakes. </p><p>"But it wasn't me.." Michael quipped, what had she dreamed again ? Sara had such an imagination when it came to dreams.</p><p>"Michael..this is serious, I think I might have it." She let out in a small voice, not wanting Mike to hear as she eyed him feed his sister.</p><p>"You mean...? No, Sara are you sure ?" Michael asked concerned. </p><p>Sara brushed her hair behind her ears. "Yeah, I have all the symptoms.." She paused, putting a hand on her chest as she felt one of those painful heart squeezing again.</p><p>She breathed out. "Headache, painful throat, fever, cough, and...I even have some breathing anomalies and chest pains..just had one." Michael's blue eyes darkened with worry.</p><p>"You have chest pains ? Sara..." He held her forearm and was surprised by hot hot it felt, she was still burning up, she was right. "Oh my god, you really have fever."</p><p>"I'm okay, Michael, it's not bad, don't scare them." She mumbled reassuring him and looking at her oblivious children.</p><p>"Okay you just go back to bed, lay down, I'll call an ambulance." Michael gravely decided.</p><p>"No, we're not going to the hospital, they only take people that are...almost dying, who can't breath on their own." Sara explained and Michael knew that, but if something happened at home ? </p><p>"Then what do we do ? Just stay home because they don't have the means and are not organised, watch our loved ones die ?" Michael said a little too loud, grabbing Mike's attention.</p><p>Sara squeezed the hand he was holding onto. "Mike, you done ? Baby put your plate in the dishwasher and go shower, you're doing homework next." She explained gently and Mike grabbed his plate, laughing as Faith flailed her arms in protest of his departure.</p><p>Michael looked back at Faith, cleaning the corner of her mouth and feeling his heart getting heavy.</p><p>"I'll get you paracetamol, it'll lessen the fever at least." He said and Sara gave him a small smile.</p><p>"That's right, and I'm gonna give you a list of medecines, you need to check if we have them, and I'm calling my doctor to come for a check up, okay ?" </p><p>"Yeah, and if he tells you to go to the hospital ?" Michael asked.</p><p>"He won't, they don't have enough room, but if he thinks I need to be hospitalised, I'll go." She promised and Michael sighed.</p><p>"You're gonna be okay right ?" He asked fear in his throat. </p><p>"Yeah, I will be, I am strong and young and healthy Michael..but uh....if I stay home I'll need to isolate myself in our room, keep Mike and..specially Faith at distance." Sara explained and Michael looked at Faith, realising what this meant. </p><p>God, this thing was a distant nightmare but now it was there, inside their house, treatening their children.</p><p>"It'll be fine okay, we just need a plan.." Sara smiled in assurance and Michael nodded carrying Faith from her seat and leaving Sara to have some breakfast while he cleaned Faith, if Sara had it, he had to keep the children away from her.</p><p>..........</p><p>Sara's state had worsened by the time the doctor came, her fever had went down but the coughing got more intense and the breathing difficulty got worse, it was like something was caging her chest, her lungs, as if she had no space to breath.</p><p>And she hurt everywhere, she was so tired she could barely get up on her own. Michael guessed at times she wasn't even lucid, dazed and calling out, asking where he was or if the children were okay all the time.</p><p>It was Mike who opened the door to the doctor. "Hey bud, I heard your mom is sick, you think she's got the corona virus huh ?" The doctor has quipped but Mike chewed on his lip, worry setlling in, mom just had a flu right ?</p><p>He followed the doctor and stood at the doorframe of his parents bedroom, watching as dad explained mom's symptoms to the doctor who nodded and both helped mom sit up before he could check her up.</p><p>"Mrs.Scofield can you open your mouth please ?" Sara was asked but it took her a while to focus on what was being said. </p><p>"Sara.." Michael coaxed and she finally did.  "Ouch..that's very red and raw.." The doctor exclaimed seeing her throat. </p><p>"I have been giving her honey pastilles, she had asked for them." Michael explained.</p><p>"Good, keep giving them to her three times a day, or else she won't be able to even swallow anything down." Michael nodded.</p><p>"Mrs.Scofield, inhale please ?" The doctor placed his metalic cold stetoscope on Sara's skin, chilling her even more, she shivered at the contact.</p><p>"Okay, so I'm prescribing some more paracetamol, and masks.." the doctor began.</p><p>"We already have masks, 50 at least.." Michael said, Sara has bought masks a couple of months ago when Mike had a simple stomach bug, way before this whole mess.</p><p>"Okay, great, they're a hell to find." The doctor murmured, indeed he had worn the same mask all day and hadn't even got gloves, he had touched Sara with bare hands exposing himself to contamination.</p><p>"She needs to wear one of them all the time at home, to not infect you and the children, and yes, here's something for the cough and I'll write her a 14 days paid leave." Michael nodded, stopping himself from a gentle touch to Sara when she groaned probably in pain. </p><p>"So do you know if it's the virus ?" Michael asked.</p><p>"At this moment Mr.Scofield I can't say, we don't have tests and they're not testing mild cases. Your wife is healthy and her case is mild, she should be okay, in any case, if her ability to breath is compromised, immediately call for an ambulance." Michael nodded gulping, he could see the doctor waw angry at the autorities, and so was he.</p><p>"So basically until she's not dying, we keep her home ?" Michael asked.</p><p>"Michael.." Sara reprimanded weakly.</p><p>"We're sorry, we're doing our best. Call me if there is any concern." The doctor apologised and left.</p><p>.............</p><p>"Here, Sara..hot milk with honey.." Michael put a steamy cup next to her bedside table and she closed her heavy eyes, everything hurted, why was she so tired ? She could barely lift a hand.</p><p>"Sara ?" This time she opened her eyed to see Michael with a coat, a mask and gloves.</p><p>"I'm going to the pharmacy to get your medicines sweetheart, Mike is in his room and Faith is napping, if she wakes up or anything he knows what to do, don't you get up. I won't be long, okay?" Michael softly told her and Sara nodded weakly, and smiled a little before recalling she too was wearing a mask and there was no way he'd see her smile.</p><p>He left and she closed her eyes again..</p><p>It was a cruel fit of cough that woke her this time. She coughed till she was almost not breathing and instinctively sat up, shivering and sweating at the same time as she heaved over the bed feeling like the churning cough would make her spit her guts out. </p><p>"Sara ? God, what do you need, are you okay ?" Michael asked holding her by the waist and supporting her, seeing her heave, he left and brought a bassinet, by then her cough had reduced a lot and she had fallen back on the bed.</p><p>He put the bassinet beside the bed. "Here, if you need." He told her and poured her water from a bottle he'd placed nearby for the purpose and helped her sit up and even the task of gulping down water felt titanical to her. </p><p>Her throat felt better and she closed her eyes, falling more into oblivion than any kind of restful sleep again. </p><p>"Sara ? Dinner time sweetheart, you need to eat something before taking the medicines right.." Michael explained bringing a steamy plate of..what was it, smelled good and tasted good, that's all Sara knew as Michael fed her the first spoons then let her on her own as Faith needed him.</p><p>He returned, after having changed Faith and put her to sleep. "Here." he gave her the tablets and the glass of water without ever touching her hand, she hoped he washed his hands everytime he touched her and was hypercautious, with the children.</p><p>"Sleep now, I'm settling on the couch with Mike for a movie, I'll probably sleep there okay, but if you need anything, you call me, okay ?" She nodded in, reality feeling extremely bad.</p><p>The nights were horrible, she would lay with the chest pains and much worst breathing problems, burning with fever or in pain from the atrocious headache and she was unable to sleep. How to explain to Michael that the edges between consciousness, sleep and being delirious blurred and she felt so so, alone. Terribly alone laying in that bedroom all night and all day. Michael only coming in for necessities. </p><p>She needed to talk, someone to talk to, so she could feel better and less alone, and god..not as if she was dying.</p><p>How could she call him where he was on the couch, when she hadn't even managed to wake him when he slept right beside her..</p><p>.............</p><p>"Mom?" It was Mike this time, who stood far, at two or three meters from her.</p><p>"Dad told me to check on you, how are you feeling ?" The little concerned boy asked, his mom was very sick, that he knew, he also knew that the virus could spread, but leaving someone sick alone and away like that, Mike felt it was wrong, somehow not human. And he'll get sick too, happily if that meant he could be there for his mother.</p><p>"I'm okay.." Sara breathed..she looked around and it was daytime, it was hard to tell days from nights these days, unless she counted on Michael giving her meals and medicines as marks.</p><p>"Faith has been so fussy, she crawl to your room all the time and dad takes her away, the other time she even managed to get through the door and was closer to you than I am but then dad caught her and scolded her." Mike told her.</p><p>Oh...something constricted in her chest and this time, it was not because of whatever she had. Her baby girl..</p><p>"Tell Michael not to scold her, please.." Sara requested and Mike sighed.</p><p>"He regretted and made it up to her but...I think dad doesn't show it but he's upset and worried, I think he's scared. Is this thing scary mom ?" </p><p>"Mike, sweet boy, you know that a lot of people are...dying..and.." Sara paused, not able to complete long sentences without panting in between. "dad loves me, and he loves Faith, and he loves you too, so he is a little scared..." </p><p>Mike nodded. "but see..see how perfectly he's handling it all....we're going to be okay. I promise." she smiled at her little son, in vain through the mask, god she wanted to hold him, to reassure him she was fine.</p><p>.............</p><p>Sara opened her eyes to see Michael sitting beside her.</p><p>"Hey..you're back." smiled through the mask.</p><p>"Hi.." she mumbled, it has probably been days...and miraculously, she didn't felt hot and feverish anymore.</p><p>To confirm her thoughts, Michael pulled out the thermometer he had placed in her armpit and looked at the number. "37,4." He smiled. "That's good Sara, your fever is finally down." He happily said and Sara sighed.</p><p>"How do you feel ?" he asked and she coughed in between and shivered terribly.</p><p>"More conscious I guess.." Michael wanted to show his affection to her so much at that moment but kept his hands and lips to himself.</p><p>"Good, I'll bring you lunch, and then medicines, maybe you can do a bit of reading this afternoon, what says ?" he asked and Sara nodded, reading felt good, doing anything felt good actually. </p><p>God she had been more out of it than anything. How did Michael manage everything alone ? did they have enough groceries, since she wad the one to work she was the one to buy them daily, up until now. </p><p>And her children, god they must miss her...how was Mike doing with his homework ? What about Faith, what would go in such a little baby's heart seeing all this fear and chaos in the world ? What she complitely oblivious or did she sense things ?</p><p>Sara could barely hold her book but managed to read through a few chapters of a psychological essay, that made her feel like a functioning human again. </p><p>Too tired, she put the book away and closed her eyes..</p><p>Soon, after Michael fed her and gave her medicines, the dreaded nightime came and Sara just wished she could find sleep. But it was all in vain and she was exhausted. </p><p>She mustered all of her energy to get up, grab a blanket and with wobbly steps, make her way to their hall where Michael lay in a unconfortable position, and she felt bad, oh so bad. His back must ache terribly.</p><p>"Michael ?" He immediately rose surprised to see her.</p><p>"Sara..why are you up ? Do you need something ?" Sara sighed sitting on the couch a few feet away from him.</p><p>"No.." she sighed leaning on the wall unable to sit on her own for too long. "I just uh...couldn't sleep." She admitted, feeling almost too guilty for waking him up and wanting to retrace her steps back.</p><p>"Oh..sweetheart.." Michael frowned miserably.  "Go back to bed, come on." he suggested and helped her up, sliding his arm along her waist and supporting her to walk back to their bedroom.</p><p>She needed company, he figured, he knew how awful she might feel alone in her dark room all day. He closed off the blinds most times. </p><p>He tucked her in bed properly and sat across the other side of her bed.</p><p>"Try to sleep, I'm right here." He promised.</p><p>"Is Faith sleeping ?" Sara worried.</p><p>"Yeah, just fed her a while ago, bit she is a big girl now, you know she only takes one bottle a night now." Sara sighed.</p><p>"That's good, my poor baby.." Michael chuckled. "I don't martyrise her all day Sara, she's fine, don't you worry. Tell me, how do you feel ?" Sara paused, locking eyes with him, was he scared for her ? he must be, hiding it for her and the children's sake.</p><p>"You know that I'm gonna make it, yeah ?" She asked softly and saw him take a sharp intake of breath.</p><p>"You will, ofcourse you will. But you need to be careful, if you feel the slight abnormal thing you tell me."  Michael worried.</p><p>"I will, I don't lie to you, remember ?" Michael smiled. "You better not, sleep." He instructed. </p><p>"I can't sleep, god my eyes feel heavy....and my head.." she paused to breath again. "it feels like it's gonna explode, yet I can't sleep." </p><p>Michael nodded sighing. "How about I make you that special infusion ? with camomille, it makes me sleep like a horse." Sara laughed lightly. "You always sleep like a horse Michael." she quipped.</p><p>"That is such a lie, I remember nights where I wouldn't sleep at all while Mrs.Scofield here snored all through." He teased her softly smiling. </p><p>"That was PTSD..."  her smile fell, she was so glad Michael at least felt safe enough in their home now to let himself fall into a deep oblivious slumber. "and you know me, since the hypertension thing, sleeping has become another kind of challenge."  she frowned, since her last pregnancy she had problems of hyper blood pressure. She took a daily treatement for it and it was stabilised, Michael suddenly realised they both weren't wearing masks.</p><p>His heart constricted, to hell with that, he could at least see his wife's smile, and god did it make it better, because she had looked more like a dead body these last six days. </p><p>He came back with the infusion to find her asleep and shook his head, he hoped she would be okay soon, he dreaded her case to get worst and prayed she wouldn't need hospitalisation.</p><p>He sat beside her, and held her hand, squeezing it, he couldn't keep himself away longer, he had tried to build a facade of being okay, being in charge, putting a certain emotional distance to the situation but Michael worried and psyched all night, doing severals check ups on Sara and whether she was okay. </p><p>He loved her so much, she had little children, and she was a good person, she didn't deserve to die like this, no one did. </p><p>She had to make it, and he hoped she knew, knew everything, knew he loved her above anything, knew he was there for their children...knew what was important in case..</p><p>His eyes filled and he forced himself away from her, trying to shake those dark thoughts away. She would fight this, and she had to win.</p><p>.........</p><p>It happened the following afternoon, she felt like her heart beat was too slow and her fatigue seemed to be at it's worst. She called for Michael, as loud as she could, Mike responding instead as Michael was on a videoconference with someone from work. She tried getting up, feeling like the room's wall were closing up on her. </p><p>By the time Mike filled the glass on her bedside table with water and Michael ended the call, she had colapsed to the floor unable to breath, she tried to slow down, to even her breath but it felt impossible.</p><p>"Mom!!" she heard Mike shout and the crash of the glass of water he held falling across the floor.</p><p>"No, Mike ! Stay back." Michael ordered rushing past him and kneeling to her. </p><p>"Sara ? Sara! Breath with me, can you hear me ? Sara.." He panicked and removed her mask grabbing her hand.</p><p>Her eyes were wide open and she heard him but couldn't breath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Real Strengh</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The author of this fanfiction had experienced the coronavirus lasting a couple of weeks. All of Sara's symptoms and behaviours are taken from my own personal feeling and are not invention, that said, they are not representative of all the covid-19 patience since the virus is still unknown and more new symptoms keep apearing and fluctuating with each patient.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Sara hold onto my hand.." he begged and she obeyed, sqeezing his hand and holding onto it for dear life as he bent her over and placed her in PLS.</p><p>"Sweetheart I need you to look at me, breath slowly, okay...one..inhale....two exhale..." She didn't knew how he passed from that panic state to one where he was calmly coaching her breathing. </p><p>But she focussed on his voice, all honey..and slightly cracking now with the fear he had and his ocean eyes and she was suddenly in control of her breathing again, breathing sharply she inhaled and exhaled, trying not to panic herself.</p><p>"That's good, you're doing good, inhale once more....exhale...." he was interrupted by Faith's loud cries and turned his head sharply to see she had crawled to the room hearing the noises and pierced herself in the knee by a shard of the broken glass. god damn..</p><p>"Mike ! Hold her back, carry her up please, take her to her room I'll be right there." He tried to instruct keeping his calm as he himself panted with worry. It must be a minor injury but he didn't want either of their children to be any more scared seeing their mother like that.</p><p>He saw Sara's eyes dart towards her children and held her chin, no, she shouldn't panic again. "They're okay, he's got her. Don't worry, you focus on me, inhale..exhale." He instructed his voice breaking as he tried to speak louder than Faith's cries even as Mike bravely carried her squirming form away.</p><p>When she was sort of breathing on a normal panting fit again Michael almost sobbed his relief resting his head on her shoulder.</p><p>"You scared me, god, you scared me.." He whimpered, gripping her arms tight.</p><p>.............</p><p>He checked on Faith's injury immediately after putting Sara back in bed and washing his hands. It was a minor scratch and he disinfected it, applying a band aid on it and holding her close, she was more emotionally scared than anything, she was fussy for the whole day after that.</p><p>Michael called the doctor who came in less than an hour later.</p><p>"There are high chances it's the covid-19." He said sighing. "she has all the symptoms."</p><p>"the chest pains are worse." Sara Sara admitted weakly and Michael's eyes snapped to her, she hadn't told him that.</p><p>"Can't you take her in medical care ?' Michael asked, he was worried, more than worried, he was frightened at this point.</p><p>"Her breathing is stable now Mr.Scofield." Sara closed her eyes.</p><p>"But it almost stopped !" Michael exclaimed not caring about Sara's weak protests right now.</p><p>"All I can do is prescribe her this, it'll protect her lungs." He scribbed on his pad and looked up.</p><p>"I'll be honest Mr.Scofield, if I call an ambulance right now, seeing all is fine they will put her in the mild cases as long as she doesn't need intubation, they aren't enough beds. They'll either keep her waiting on a chair if she can sit or lie her down on the floor with all the rest of mild cases to wait." Michael sighed closing his eyes.</p><p>"She is better, much warmer and confortable at home. It's not as if she is going to get any treatement, we have no way to fight this." The doctor admitted tired and exhausted himself, he locked eyes with Sara and she nodded. Ofcourse she knew it all. "Michael.." she began but Michael crossed his arms across his chest. </p><p>"Alright." He'd keep her home, he'd keep her warm and be there whenever she needed anything, he couldnt image her laying on the cold tiles of hospital floors while doctors and nurses ran around her. </p><p>"but I want a test, I want her to be tested." Michael exiged.</p><p>"Mr.Scofield...what do you think ? I as a doctor would have tested all four of you right now since you are in contact with her, but we don't have the means right now, there are no tests!" Michael sighed and sat beside Sara.</p><p>"I want her tested, right now, play her doctor status card I don't know.." Michael adamantly stated.</p><p>"Michael stop.." Sara requested, coughing and not able to say more.</p><p>The doctor sighed. "Okay, do you have a coton stick, freezing shaper and disinfectant ?" He asked. "I'll make it tested by a lab friend." </p><p>"Thank you." Michael nodded, thankful.</p><p>........</p><p>The results came twelve hours later, Sara was positive. Declared as a home mild case, she was sent a patient chart instructing to check her heart rate and BP every hour, and some recommandations, such as "sleep alone" that made Michael want to almost want to tear the paper. </p><p>So that's how they treated patients of a pandemic in the United States of America in 2020 ? Abandonning them to their own, to die or live alone at home.</p><p>Were they that far from plague days ? </p><p>He strictly respected orders, checked for her BP each hour, it was erratic to say the least, sometimes falling to 8, others jumping to 17. Her heartrate was low, almost all the times, bordering the limit of normal, as if her body had put itself on energy economy mode. </p><p>Only he knew how he had passed the next days, his caution level jumping to maximum as he disinfected and washed each thing, tried to reassure Mike's unending queries, holding the boy as he once cried. "Oh Mike, Mom is gonna be okay my boy." He had promised. "but why can't she breath ?" He had cried in his lap. "She can, ofcourse she can, your mom is a fighter, see all the people that need to go to the hospital, mom can breath, that's why she's staying home, I just saw her she was all fine and listening to some podcast thing.." Michael didn't knew where the truth ended and the lies began but it managed to calm Mike at least.</p><p>And the next problem was Faith, that girl was now, unable to stay put in one place. </p><p>Sara heard some weak knocking or was that scratching on her door that Michael now kept closed for more security. She opened her heavy eyelids and winced, her legs hurt so much. </p><p>The knocking was firmer and she heard..was that Faith's muffled blabber ?</p><p>Oh...her heart melted away. She groaned, sitting up with all of her efforts and made her way to the door, leaning on it, she kneeled and bent to Faith's level, hearing the tiny efforts of her palm against the wooden door.</p><p>"Faith  ?" The baby was babbling as if calling for her and as soon as she heard her mother's voice, her uncoherant words became a tirade as her voice rose and she tapped on the door with more vigor. </p><p>Sara breathed and smiled sadly. "Baby I'm so sorry, I can't open the door, I can't hold you.." Sara apologised and Faith, as if angry, tapped on the door harder blabbing as if complainingly.</p><p>Michael found her at Sara's door and sighed, this girl, even with a bruised knee she kept on crawling all over the house.</p><p>"Faith Anne Scofield, what are you doing here ?" Michael strode towards her and bent to her level but Faith whined as he touched her.</p><p>"Michael ? Let her be, we're only talking." Sara spoke from the other side of the door.</p><p>"You need rest Sara, go back to bed." Michael said to her. "And you miss, I'm gonna have to buckle you on one baby seat of yours."</p><p>Sara laughed. "She'll escape Michael, she's your daughter after all." Michael shook his head.</p><p>Faith renewed her attempts, as if telling Sara something. "I know, dada is so mean with you, he scolds you all the time ? I'll be back soon sweet little girl." Sara quipped interpreting. </p><p>"What ?" Michael chuckled in mock shock but was actually so glad for her to finally focus and say things coherantly.</p><p>Lately she had been more in a kind of daze where she will respond something entirely else to one of his questions or go into an uncoherant delirious rambling.</p><p>Like that time when he asked how was her throat and she had replied : "Michael...I love your hair.." noticing he had dyed his grey marbled hair back to a full hair of cropped dark brown. "That color make your eyes stick out so much more...I love that contrast actually, blue and brown....so beautiful....can we paint our room blue and brown ?" Michael had smiled at her barely focused mumbles and wanted to kiss her right there, finding her adorable as her composure fell to almost an childish nature in such a tough sickness.</p><p>"Why don't we paint it like you, you're made of fall shades actually, a cream base, touches of brown and some auburn, I love auburn." She had frowned openening her half closed lids to try to focus. </p><p>"What burned?" He had laughed.</p><p>But he was so glad she could form coherant thoughts now.</p><p>"That is all a lie, I am super nice with her, today she's even wearing pretty white pants and she's gonna ruin them by crawling across the floor all day." Faith looked back at him and laughed for some reason and he smiled, that little girl definetely had her mother's smile. "See, she does this on purpose, now she's making fun of me." Michael kissed the baby's tiny nose, fond of her ressemblance to Sara.</p><p>"I love you, both of you..and where's Mike ?" Sara called.</p><p>"Mike is busy with homework, and we all love you too..we can't wait for you to be okay. Now go back to rest, it's snack time for tiny mini boo here." Michael tickled Faith who laughed and let him pick her up, agreeing to leave her mom's more easily, she'd have screamed if he took her right away.</p><p>.............</p><p>Sara opened her eyes feeling more lucid...and surprisingly, hungry, her apetite had died down these last days and it seemed to be back.</p><p>Breathing felt a little easier, but she was exhausted, even more than before.</p><p>"Michael ?" She called out and Michael was there in a minute.</p><p>"Hey you..how are you ?" He asked with a gentle smile from the door before putting his mask on. </p><p>Sara shrugged looking at him with utmost affection. "You know I just had a dream, saw my whole life flash through, my childhood, my school days, medical intership, using, Fox River, meeting you, the run, Miami Dade, losing you, having Mike, finding you again and then..our little Faith.." Michael raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"You sure that was a dream ? They say you see your life flash before dying." He quipped and Sara chuckled. </p><p>"You're not getting rid of me that easily..I'm not planning to die on you, not anytime soon." Michael nodded, wanting to kiss her, her forehead at least ? so badly.</p><p>"You better not. So how do you feel, anwser Mrs.Scofield." He dutifully began checking her constants and frowned.</p><p>"BP's still way too high." he frowned.</p><p>"You want the good or the bad news ?" Sara asked. </p><p>Michael looked at her before scribbing her heartbeat, still three beat per minute too slow.</p><p>"Well I want both, the question is which one first." He corrected for her and she shook her head.</p><p>"Right, stop making fun of me. The good news is that I am so so hungry...and the bad one is that.....this thing is real bad Michael, I think I haven't feel this bad since...since rehab days actually." Sara admitted.</p><p>Michael sighed, his heart broke, he knew how terrible symptoms of a detox sevrage could be, and if this was as worst then it definetely wasn't just a flu.</p><p>"But you got through rehab right, you made it and you've been clean for almost a decade. You'll beat this too." He promised and Sara nodded.</p><p>"Ofcourse I will..so what's there to eat ?" She asked and Michael wad so happy to see her apetite back.</p><p>"Well, surprise surprise, Mike and me, we baked a cake ! Faith helped too ofcourse but she mostly dirtied her hands with licking leftover chocolate batter than anything else." Sara laughed. "I would have liked to see that, she's adorable." Sara said in awe.</p><p>Michael smiled. "She looks more and more like you.." </p><p>"Mike has changed though, he's begining to look more like you." Sara said thoughfully.</p><p>"You're the only one to think that really.." Michael laughed.</p><p>"No! I mean when he was small he looked like me but now he's changed." Sara insisted.</p><p>"I think he looks more like himself now..but the ressemblance is more you." Michael adamantly stated.</p><p>"Maybe...I want some of that cake!" Sara asked and Michael smiled, he was so glad to see some energy back in her again, even if it was just the vigor in the way she spoke.</p><p>.....</p><p>A few days later, Sara eventually began to feel better and skype with her friends, so many people had called Michael learning of her state. Lincoln called several times a day, Sucre at least once a while. Sara's friend from New York, Heather, at least once a day, one co-league twice a day, even C-note had called wishing her luck and recovery...even some of the people she wasn't so fond of, like a middle aged lady she had a tiff with once for criticising Sara's too anti-clerical ways of raising her children, specially Mike. </p><p>And Michael was glad, he felt he wasn't alone because god he had put on strong faces and composure but he was so so scared, awfully so. </p><p>Sara still slept a lot, exhausted, terribly so, and being more conscious, she missed Michael's presence beside her, his warm body, his heart tendering touches and his familiar scent...it was now as empty and cold as back when she had thought him dead and Sara didn't wanted to go there, for nothing in the world.</p><p>"Mom ?" Mike, who was reading one of his essay for work to her asked as he completed the task and gathered his papers.</p><p>"Yes ?" she asked, still trying to breath evenly.</p><p>"Would you watch a movie with us tonight ? I miss you." He said a little sadly and Sara felt her heart ache.</p><p>"Mike, you know I am not going anywhere, right ?" she panted wanting to reassure him, why was he speaking as if there was a deadline or that her days were counted.</p><p>"But will you ?" He adamantly asked and she smiled slightly.</p><p>"Okay, but we'll have to ask your dad." Sara made a face, Michael was strict with her resting orders, and whenever the slight thing was off he spoke about calling an ambulance.</p><p>Michael had refused at first, completely, then eventually upon her insistance that she was fine, agreed. She still wore mask and gloves as well as he and Mike, he settled her laying against pillows on their couch and they sat leaving one seat between her and them. Faith was ofcourse buckled in a seat, because if that girl was left free, she'd crawl right into Sara's lap. </p><p>Even as she saw her, she began whining and wailing against her restraints asking for Sara and they had to place her seat to face her mother with a one meter gap while Sara talked and played a little with her, with the little energy she could muster.</p><p>And Michael observed how she forced herself to stay up and chat with Mike, leaning against the couch because she couldn't sit too long. </p><p>As the news program ended right before the movie with the news of the minister of finances comitting suicide by jumping infront of a train, Michael only watched Sara and Faith, taking in the older's worn features and tired body but willing eyes and resisting nature, she was a fighter, and how the smaller smiled and giggled with her mom, learning to be patient and already making compromises with a kind hearted nature, and he looked at Mike's hand tightly gripping his mother's gloved one and as Sara's eyes locked with him, he transmitted all his love by his eyes thinking that this, the families fighting against this disease, the people helping out each other, the doctors and workers battling with sacrifice everyday was the real strenght, not the economical giants who's power lay in unstable financial speculation, not in those huge corporations running and influencing lobbies that could fall at each stock market's earthquake, not even in these big occidental countries claiming their power and strenght but failing at the slight tumble.</p><p>No, if anyone asked Michael, the real strenght was to him in the face of his wife, a willing and passionate doctor, fighting and resisting human, and the nest that had carried, the will and love that had created and the soul that nurtured and raised their two wonderful children.</p><p>She'd make it, he always knew it inside, she always did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am conscious of the fact that there are some cultural uncoherences in this story. I am conscious that in the American suburbs most people live in individual houses, not flats, that the stay home orders for sick people applied more to european countries and that the scenes of patients on the floor are proper of Spain, as well as the suicide of the minister which is a real event but obviously not happening in the USA since they're a presidential regime. Nevertheless, for dramatical purposes, I have accentuated and incorporated some of the factors in the world around the covid-19 in one story and one country, it's fiction afterall !</p><p>So Michael and Sara living in an flat and not a house, Sara taking the train back home and not the car are all cultural traits of the author that I have transposed in the story, maybe it kills the realism of it, but the situation if kind of out of the ordinary too. </p><p>Happy reading and save lives, be reasonable and stay home !  :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Russian Hills</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The title is a little word-game, literal traduction of the french expression Montagnes Russes which stands for Roller Coaster, a good resume of the chapter. Enjoy and please review :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sara was up now, thankfully on a slow way to get well. She could sit and read or work on her laptop, she had already listed all the things she had to do once she was okay and was in constant contact with the hospital, giving support to her coleagues and directions for the interns and requisitionned students.</p><p>"Feeling better ?" Michael asked with a smile and eyes full of tender love for her.</p><p>"Yeah..still really tired.." Sara simply said amongst the others numerous symptoms she still had.</p><p>He sat infront of her, observing her and Sara looked up from her book self consciously</p><p>"What ?" She almost laughed and Michael smiled fondly shaking his head "Nothing.." He said but after a moment, held her hand in his gloved one and rubbed her palm.</p><p>"I'm so glad you're okay, god..Sara, I am so relieved." He let out, tears of fondness in his eyes and Sara smiled, putting her own gloved hands on his chest and caressing softly.</p><p>"I am okay, I always told you I'd be Michael. Did you really think this was enough to get rid of me ?" Michael laughed and wanted to pull her in an embrace so much </p><p>"No, I always knew inside, that you'd be okay." He admitted and Sara smiled at him tenderly.</p><p>"I want to kiss you." Michael let out, his eyes locking with hers and Sara felt a gush of love for him, she missed his touch, his embrace, his feeling..</p><p>"You can't. Unless you mask kiss me but then we'd have to change them right then and it'll be a waste of two masks." Sara said, her eyes shining with her small smile and Michael shrugged.</p><p>"You must know by now that I'm not as rational as I seem, and at the point we're at with masks, I don't know if it really matters anymore." Michael said and Sara raised her eyebrows.</p><p>He shifted closer, closing the distance between them and Sara laughed, before he planted his lips on her shoulder through the material.</p><p>"I can't wait for this thing to go away, I miss you." He admitted and Sara chuckled.</p><p>"Don't get me started, I miss you too.." she paused, looking up at him. "I even had some uh...wild dreams when I was really out of it and would woke up wanting you and you were not there, I was all sick and aching everywhere, this sucks."</p><p>Michael's eyes widened and he laughed.</p><p>"You did ?" He asked incredoulous.</p><p>"Yeah, once or twice." Sara shrugged with a fake innocent expression.</p><p>"You're really not a good girl, Mrs.Scofield." Michael quipped and Sara smiled.</p><p>"Where's my little girl ?" She asked for Faith.</p><p>Michael sighed. "She is so cranky today, since this morning, she kept crying and whining and just wouldn't leave my arms. She's napping now thankfully, it was so hard to put her to sleep. I think maybe this is all affecting her." Michael said thoughtfully.</p><p>"You think she can feel things ?" Sara asked with a frown.</p><p>"Well she misses you I think, she was even moody to Mike, wouldn't play with him.." Sara frowned even more.</p><p>"I long to take her in my arms too but this is too soon Michael, she needs to stay away from me." Sara said regretfully.</p><p>"I know.." Michael said sadly.</p><p>"And Mike ? Is he okay ?" Sara asked, sad and feeling like she was failing her children.</p><p>"I think he's okay now, because he sees you and understand what's happening. That helps.." Michael said and Sara nodded, "Thank god, I didn't wanted to scare him." Sara admitted.</p><p>"You did, he cried quite a number of times, thought you'd die. " Sara's breath itched. </p><p>"my poor boy, I hate this.." Sara sniffed.</p><p>"We're going to get through it, don't worry, you just rest huh ?" Michael said with affection.</p><p>"Yeah..love you." Sara said laying resting her head back against the pillow and laying down</p><p>"Love you too Sara." He said tenderly.</p><p>......</p><p>Faith now refused to drink her milk, simply crying and fussing in Michael's arms.</p><p>"Faith, sweetheart...what is it ?" Michael tried cooed gently, easing the nipple of the feeder between her lips again but Faith cried again, whining pitifully as she pushed the bottle away with her tiny hands.</p><p>"You have to be hungry, you didn't even drink much last time and it's been six hours.." He spoke his thoughts aloud.</p><p>This is exactly what he had feared, that if they changed milk brands she might have tummy aches and refuse to drink, that is why he had taken so much risks and bought formula stocks for more than a month, where as they normally shopped just for a week.</p><p>The brand was the same, why was she not eating then ?</p><p>"Come on, baby.." He tried an other attempt but Faith angrily batted his arms away, and cried again.</p><p>"Do you miss mama ? That's the thing huh sweet girl ?" Faith was most probably noticing and missing Sara's absence, the baby maybe just wanted her mother by this point.</p><p>"Maybe mix some chocolate into her milk ? That's what mom does when she fusses too much." Mike suggested from behind and Michael turned his head towards him.</p><p>"Yeah, good idea. Would you hold her please ?" Michael handed the squirming little girl to Mike.</p><p>"Hey, Faith, what's wrong sis, dad's always so nice to you, why are you being mean ?" in response, Faith wailed even more, hitting Mike's face and chest with her fists, crying louder and worst than in Michael's arms.</p><p>"Here, here, I'm here Faith.." Michael immediately rushed back to them from the kitchen with the now, chocolate milk feeder in his hand, as he shook it to mix it properly.</p><p>"Come here, I've got you baby, what's wrong, you don't like Mike anymore ?" Michael gently spoke to her, kissing her forehead and gently rubbing her chest and Faith quieted down a little, while Michael tenderly wiped the teartracks from her temples. </p><p>Usually she would love to be with Mike, he'd make her play for hours, she even easily napped with him, usually in his bed with his tons of teddies. </p><p>She felt so safe with him and they had a complicity he and Sara were deeply fond of. They even made jokes at times that if Faith had Mike she didn't need any of them both. </p><p>"Wanna try again huh ? I've put some chocolate, just like mama, I know you miss her baby girl.." Michael began, shaking the feeder a last time and trying to feed her again.</p><p>Faith willingly tried, but after a single nip and gulp she grimaced and put the feeder away again, crying anew. </p><p>Sara had woken up to her wails, and could hear everything, hearing Michael seemed to be at loss, and that Faith cried unusually. She was a pretty calm baby, granted less calm than Mike was at her age, but still easy going, she never made much fuss unless something was wrong. She was a lot more vocal than Mike at her age, blabbing uncoherantly all the times, she was very vocal compared to Mike since her birth actually, letting out tiny screams and puffs of air back then.</p><p>Sara groaned and sat up, her mind still a little out of it as she had difficulty to focus on anything and her legs were killing her. </p><p>She made her way with slow wobbly steps to the doorframe of the hall, holding a mask to cover her face.</p><p>"Michael, what's wrong ?" Sara asked and Michael looked up from the fussing babe, sighing and abandonning the attempts to feed her altogether, he held her against his shoulder and got up to rock her while rubbing her back.</p><p>"I don't know Sara, but you go back to bed, you need rest." He instructed.</p><p>Sara held her heart as it contracted again, painfully.<br/>"But what does she need ? You've changed her right ?" Sara asked and Michael nodded.</p><p>"She's been like this since yesterday, had told you, keep fussing and she doesn't even want to eat now. I think she needs you." Michael said with a sad frown, was he not enough for Faith ?</p><p>Faith grabbed onto Michael and quieted down, hearing Sara's voice, she looked up towards Sara and her face crumpled, crying anew, she seemed to want her mother..</p><p>"Ohh..god. Sara don't stay here, if you're here she's gonna want you even more." Michael said turning Faith's back to Sara as she cried and Sara sighed, nodding and leaving the place after Mike gave her a sad look.</p><p>After she left, Michael had managed to put Faith to sleep and made dinner, made Mike eat, spend some time with him and then took her some dinner.</p><p>Sara sat with difficulty yet again. <br/>"Is Faith okay?" She asked worriedly.</p><p>"Yeah, she's aleep." Michael murmured handing her the plate, Sara had gained enough forces and motrice focus to eat by herself now. </p><p>"Thank god..do you think she's only acting like that because of me ?" Sara asked with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>"Yes, I mean, what else could be wrong, do you think she's teething ?" Michael asked.</p><p>"No, it's too soon for that, and she hasn't shown any other sign." Sara shook her head, shifting her aching body to grab the bottle of water but Michael anticipated it and served her.</p><p>"Thanks." she smiled.</p><p>"It's okay, she'll get around it, and once we're sure you're immune, you'll have plenty of time to be with her." </p><p>Sara closed her eyes. "Yeah, I know they need me, but I'll probably take some days, before I can go to work again.."</p><p>"There's nothing wrong in taking days for yourself Sara, you've been terribly sick, you'll need some days to recover." Michael warned on a serious tone.</p><p>"I know, don't worry Michael, I'm going to recover, and be just fine." Michael smiled and kissed her forehead. </p><p>"Better be. Because you know, this quarentine thing, cooking, russian homework, remind me why Mike couldn't chose an option from the eight languages I do know, cleaning, groceries and nappies and all that, really not easy when you're alone." Sara laughed.</p><p>"Aw poor you, I'm so sorry." She mock pitied him.</p><p>"No you're not." Michael raised an eyebrow locking eyes with her and she looked away, laughing.</p><p>"Thank you." She said sincerly, holding out her hand for him and Michael grasped her gloved fingerd in his. "You kept your calm, and you handled everything perfectly." Sara pointed out, she still remember his earlier weeks back home, the first few months, or even some months ago, when she was pregnant with Faith, how he'd freak out whenever something happened to her or Mike, how he wouldn't let Mike out alone, how he would anxiously wait for his return, how he had panic attacks whenever either of them was hurt, how he went out of his mind when she slipped on some water in the kitchen and fell during her second trimester, even if she had barely hurt her bum and bruised an elbow.</p><p>She smiled softly, realising how far they had come, how strong and joined her family was today, and she couldn't be any prouder.</p><p>"This is all because of Faith, she's the one who really changed me." Michael admited half jokingly. </p><p>Faith's arrival had changed a lot of things and had helped Michael in letting go, in relaxing and taking things easily, and organisating himself, being in charge and knowing what he was doing, far from the early days of his come back where he'd stand watching she and Mike or wander around, lost at what he should do or what his role was in their family. </p><p>Now he was unmistakably essential to them, Sara and the children couldn't go on for more than a couple days without him, and that's why he had declined many promotions offers, because his family mattered the most, and he was the organisated Michael now, he knew that each domain of life had its own place and he wasn't letting anything as trivial as his worklife to steal his family away from him, not again, not ever, Sara and the children were his everything. And he wasn't sacrifying them for a couple of more 0's on his paycheck.</p><p>"I guess she's changed me too, a little." Sara admitted thoughfully.</p><p>"Yeah, made you less strict, Mike can agrees." Sara opened her mouth in mock shock and shook her head amused.</p><p>It was true that since their latest addition to the family, Michael and Sara had revised their parenting methods, and relaxed them from the perfectionism Sara earlier applied. Even if she didn't admit it, it was maybe a will on her side, to compense for the absence of his father that Sara always wanted everything to be perfect when it came to Mike. As if raising him well and perfectly was her only goal and purpose in life. </p><p>Things had changed since Michael came back and even more after Faith's birth. </p><p>They allowed more flexibility, it was okay if Mike ate junk once in a while, it was okay if one of them was late to pick him once in a while, it was okay if Faith didn't nap a day or another, it was okay if Mike spent an extra 30 minutes playing out once in a while, it was okay if either of them did procrastinate a chore to the next day, it was okay if, when Faith fussed, they gave her some orange juice instead of milk.</p><p>Michael also wondered how it had also began okay for Sara to go from "Mike put your shoes where they belong." to throwing her own coats on chairs' back. She was a messy woman, and was back to being herself.</p><p>They had decided if they keep general values and certain lines to follow, there was no harm in letting things go once in a while. And it did good, to both of them, to their family, less stressing, more taking parenting as it came, less second guessing, less anxiety, more enjoying their children, and as long they had a loving family and were taught the needed values, their babies would be fine. </p><p>"I was never too strict, that's a myth." Sara argued and Michael rose his eybrows collecting her now empty plate.</p><p>"We'll have to ask Mike." He promised and Sara smiled, setlling her tired bones back against a pillow.</p><p>"Could you help me change and get ready for bed ?" Sara asked, hating to be so incapacited but then, they had grown used to that little routine and now Sara was more in her senses and had more strenght to do things.</p><p>"Sure, come on.." Michael helped her up and both took the moment to each, brush their teeth and change for bed.</p><p>Sara managed to get her shirt away on her own and looked at herself in the mirror for a second, taken aback.</p><p>"I've lost so much weight." She let out, she was a slender woman, but she had a tiny belly that she struggled to lose after her last pregnancy. </p><p>Being a mom of two, and a doctor, left her close to no time to hit any gym or go for a footing once in a while.</p><p>But now, she seemed to have lost at least 5kg, all on her midsection.</p><p>"Really ? Let me see.." Michael turned her to him, disposing of his toothbrush and laughed palming her stomach and pinching the skin, feeling she had lost her post pregnancy belly indeed.</p><p>"Ohh...that's sad.." He said sadly.</p><p>"Sad ? It's sad I was sick and lost it this way but it's good Michael, I'm not fat anymore now." Sara admitted amused.</p><p>Michael frowned. "You were never fat...but I loved your little belly, it was cute." Michael said fondly palling her stomach again and Sara laughed wrinkling her nose batting his hands away. </p><p>"You're a liar." She smiled self consciously putting her night tee over her head</p><p>"No really, I'm gonna miss it." He said inhaling her scent and Sara sighed, she wanted him too, so much, but now was too soon, sex or even a kiss meant sharing fluids and the last she wanted was for Michael to be infected or infect their children.</p><p>"You know we can't." She said sadly and Michael simply caressed her cheek with his thumb, his heart still so relieved she was okay.</p><p>"And you're not gonna miss me being fat !" She ended leaving the bathroom and Michael laughed. "You were not." </p><p>........</p><p>Michael slide the door of Faith's room open, slowly, he crept in, it had now been more than nine hours since she last ate, she was supposed to be so hungry.</p><p>Yet she seemed sound asleep. Michael smiled tenderly rubbing her jumper clad tiny foot between his thumb and forefinger.</p><p>It wasn't until he observed her from closer that he noticed something was wrong. Her breathing was labored even in her sleep, as if she was panting slightly, and her eyes seemed to move behind her eyelids as she moaned quietly, seemingly in pain. </p><p>Michael frowned, he caressed her head and his heart skipped a beat. She was burning hot with fever. no. not Faith, Michael tried to keep his calm but his LLI was already playing with his nerves. He needed to focus, now wasn't the time for a panic attack.</p><p>"Sara ? Sara !!" He called out. </p><p>Sara woke up with a start at his shout and got up as fast as she could, dragging herself to Faith's room where he seemed to be.</p><p>"What happened ?" Sara asked, breathing as she saw Faith asleep in her crib. God, he had scared her, she thought Faith hurt herself.</p><p>"She has fever." Michael said worriedly and Sara's heart constricted with fear. </p><p>"What ? No, Michael, maybe she's just..." Sara bent over the crib, Faith might just be hot.</p><p>She hesitated then put two gloved fingers on her neck and gasped. She was burning. burning. she could feel how hot she was even through the gloves.</p><p>"Oh god...you're right." Sara said calmly but then her thoughts about karma and her daughter and the babies she treated with the covid flashed before her eyes and her heart filled with fear.</p><p>"I'll get the thermometer." Michael announced but Sara stopped him.</p><p>"No, no, no, Michael call an ambulance, right now." She said and looked back at Faith, breathing in to keep her composure. </p><p>There was no need of checking her temperature, she had fever, no doubt, she was burning hot.</p><p>"Okay, okay..the phone." Michael spoke to himself trying to be coherant enough to make the call.</p><p>Sara observed Faith's panting labored breathing and her painful little grunts. She bit her lip, wanting to carry her up and press her close to her heart. </p><p>Her baby was suffering and they ignored it, were too busy, Michael too, on her and checking her constants and making her eat dinner rather than observe their child. </p><p>She had been giving signs since a couple of days from Michael's tellings. "Hang on sweetheart.." Sara tenderly whispered rubbing her clothing and blanket clad thigh.</p><p>Michael came back, the phone to his ear as he tried to keep his calm and pressed the informations to the paramedic. "she's six months and a week...........yeah....no I haven't, but she's burning.......yeah, yeah her breathing's labored..." </p><p>"has she been out recently or in contact with an infected person ?" Michael eyed Sara with fear at this question. </p><p>"Yeah, her mom.." Michael felt sweat form on his palm and has to turn his back onto Faith and Sara's worried eyes. </p><p>He hung up as quick as he had called. Looking at Sara with teary eyes. "They're coming, they've told me to check her fever, and that we shouldn't touch her..." Michael let out with pained eyes and Sara nodded and bit her lip. </p><p>It was already terrible for such a small baby to be this sick, she didn't ever want...god, even Jacob or her worst enemies to go through what she had these past two weeks, and certainly not her baby daughter. And to add to that, she couldn't even be held. </p><p>Sara quietly listened to her painful puffs of air and her unconscious moans of suffering with glassy eyes while Michael checked her temperature. </p><p>"How high ?" Sara asked, throat constricted with fear as Michael gently took the thermometer out of Faith's armpit. </p><p>He pressed his lips together and she saw his adam apple litterally gulp with fear. </p><p>"41°." He let out. </p><p>"Michael.." Sara let out an anguished breath. This much fever could kill. </p><p>Dehydratation, acceletation of the heartrate.. "We need to cool her down."  Sara pressed, her doctor mode passing into action.  "And keep her hydrated.." </p><p>Michael looked from his sick baby to Sara, she was panting too. </p><p>"Sara, I need you to calm down, you're gonna unsettle your BP, the ambulance is coming." Sara looked at him sharply. </p><p>"Fuck my BP Michael ! The ambulance is not coming anytime soon, I know what I am talking about, please." Sara snapped her voice filled with fear.</p><p>Michael looked down at Faith, realisation dawning onto him. If Sara too, was panicking and that her knowledge as a doctor was more unsettling than reassuring then this must be out of hands...he couldn't have his baby girl dying right here, untreated and at home.</p><p>"Michael ? Are you listening to me ? Get her out of the blankets and clothes." Sara called out again as he has lost himsef in the tiny beads of sweat of Faith's forehead and her perfect nose..and how beautiful she was when she smiled. He hated his LLI at times like these.</p><p>"Michael ! Get a wet towel I said, I'll get her some water in a feeder." Sara rushed off and it was only a second after she left that he moved. </p><p>Faith was barely lucid enough to drink the water, it all dribbled down her chin for most part. Michael desperately tried to cool her down with wet towels but it seemed it made her shiver violently and groan in pain more than anything. </p><p>The ambulance came 40 minutes later, 40 minutes Michael and Sara spent at knives edge in fear and anxiety. The sirens woke Mike and probably a good part of the neighborhood. </p><p>The boy kept asking questions but neither of his parents were replying, panick seized. Paramedics rushed in, quickly asessing Faith's state.</p><p>"We're taking her in."  The head of the paramedic decided. </p><p>And their little baby was shifted on a gurney and and wheeled off. </p><p>"Okay, we need all her medical history, blood group, vital card, and, Mr.Scofield ?" Michael moved from his spot, gathering a coat and his papers, Sara collected Faith's health book and records. </p><p>"Mam, you're her mother right ? The one who had the covid, we're sorry, you can't come with us. There is a high possibility you're still contagious and we can't take risks with the vulnerable patients at the hospital." Sara understood this, completely, but it took her a second to comprehend that she was going to be away from Faith, powerless and helpless. </p><p>She eyed Faith on the gurney and her eyes actually filled with tears as she handed Faith's stuff to Michael.</p><p>"She eats every five hours." She reminded uselessly. "I know." Michael nodded understanding her pain. </p><p>"Tell her I love her..and be with her all the time." She said tearfully.</p><p>"I will Sara, I'll call you, I'll call you whenever I can." Michael promised, he saw her lip tremble, god, damn that virus, he wanted to hold her and kiss her forehead so bad right now, reassure her.</p><p>The door closed behind them and Sara's face crumpled, as she took her gloves clad fingers to her lips.</p><p>"Mom ? Is Faith going to die ?" Mike asked, a tiny voice laced with fear meters behind her. </p><p>Sara turned, surprised. "Wha - ? No, no, who said that Mike ?" She said a bit defensively, refusing the idea of something happening to her daughter yet. </p><p>" In my homework group chat, my friend had told me that only severe cases go to the hospitals, people that they fear will die.." Mike let out, obviously fearful and Sara shook her head. </p><p>"Faith's gonna be fine." She vowed. <br/>"She is a fighter, just like me, and she is going to beat this." Sara didn't knew whether these words were meant to convince Mike or herself. </p><p>"Really ?" Mike asked still moved.</p><p>"Yes, go back to bed little boy." Sara said with utmost affection as she walked Mike back to his bedroom and stayed at the doorframe a long time, anwsering his questions and quietening his fears until he felt asleep. </p><p>She then sat with her laptop, going through all the cases she was on and every other kind of study there was on the covid-19, because there was no way she would find sleep through the night. </p><p>........</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Losing Faith ?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faith is hospitalised and Michael and Sara are heartbroken,</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her phone first rang at 3 am. She immediately picked up knowing it was Michael.</p><p>"You're not sleeping ?" Michael asked with worry.</p><p>"Michael how can I sleep, tell me, what's going on ?" Sara asked eagerly.</p><p>"They've put her in the baby care unit, hooked her to heart monitors and stuff, they say the priority right now is toning her fever down, and they're keeping her hydrated with a water tube." Michael said whatever was told to him.</p><p>Sara sighed. "Her fever really needs to go away, if it stay that high for too long it's going to leave cerebral sequels." She worried. </p><p>"They're trying to find equipement for me, so I can see her." Sara let out a breath of relief.</p><p>"Yeah, I want you right there, with her. She must be so scared." Sara said painfully.</p><p>"She cried a lot earlier, when they preleved her to test her. She's out asleep now, they said." Michael sat against a chair, tired of pacing down the hall.</p><p>"Right. Having a coton stick shoved up your nose by strangers isn't really reassuring." Sara admitted cynically.</p><p>"How is Mike ? Is he worried ?" Michael asked, conscious of the little scared boy witnessing paramedics taking his sister and panicked parents surrounding them. </p><p>"He's okay, asked a lot of questions and I guess he was scared, but now he's okay, he's sleeping."  Sara murmured weakly, she was still recovering too afterall.</p><p>"You need your rest Sara, please sleep a little, nothing is happening here anyway, I'll call you if there's any change in her state." Michael insisted.</p><p>Sara sighed. "I can't, my baby's out there, in pain and suffering, I don't even know what may happen to her and you want me to sleep." </p><p>"Sara...please be reasonable. I'm here, doctors are taking care of her, she'll be okay." Michael tried to reassure.</p><p>"I hope so Michael, I really hope so...because if anything happens to her...it's all my fault, god, our neighbors were right, I brought this home, maybe I should have stayed in a hotel like Katie while this whole thing was going on." Sara held her head, remorseful.</p><p>"And you would be all alone ? Even when you were sick ? You weren't even lucid enough to talk, let alone having the strengh get up by yourself, you would have suffered so much if you were alone." Sara closed her eyes, it was true, but it would have spared her little girl. </p><p>Faith was, like Mike, a piece of her heart, laid bare right there, in the form of a little child, and god did it hurt when harm came to her children. </p><p>Michael gulped, he was scared for Faith too, gut scared, but if he showed it, he would lose it. </p><p>"I just hope..she'll be okay." Sara said tearfully.</p><p>Michael looked up, pushing back his own tears. "Oh Sara, don't cry sweetheart, she's your daughter, she's a strong girl and she's not going down without a fight." Michael promised and Sara swallowed back her emotions.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I should be the one to reassure you.." Sara let out, she was just surpassed by events since the whole thing started plus the virus made her emotionally so tender. </p><p>"It's okay, I'm feeling pretty detached at the moment, maybe I don't realise, I mean first you, and now.." Michael's breath itched.</p><p>Sara sighed. "I know, I'm so sorry.." Sara desolated. </p><p>"It's okay...I need you to go and try to get some sleep now, alright ?" Michael pressed.</p><p>"I'll try..call me whenever you have an update." Sara requested.</p><p>"I will, I promise." </p><p>................</p><p>After long hours of staying up, Sara finally let her eyes close around dawn and fell alseep sitting on the couch.</p><p>It was a little after 9 am when her phone buzzed again, she woke immediately, even through the evident lack of sleep she had. </p><p>"Hello ?" She awnsered, alert.</p><p>"Yeah, Sara ? they just allowed me to see her, her fever's a bit down, 39° right now but they said her lungs are weak.." Michael explained all what he knew.</p><p>Sara bit her lip, ofcourse her lungs were weak, that was, since her birth.</p><p>Michael sat right over Faith's little coat, gloves and masks and all kind of protections on. </p><p>Sara could hear Faith's tiny grunts in the backround, she was sleeping, or had her eyes closed anyway but was still pretty feverish and obviously in pain.</p><p>"Okay, can I see her ?" Sara requested and Michael immediately sent her a facetime request. </p><p>Faith laid, eyes close, weak and in pain, a water tube and paracetamol solution pricking her tiny hand. </p><p>"Oh..my baby.." Sara saw babies in intensive care everyday, but seeing her own healthy and safe and sound baby like that tore at her heart. </p><p>"She's still very feverish." Michael said softly rubbing Faith's hospital blanket clad tummy. They had kept her without clothes, to help reduce her temperature. </p><p>"She must be in so much pain.." Sara let out miserably, remembering the most awful days of her own experience. </p><p>Faith's occasional whimpers morphed into moans of pain as she heard her mother's voice from the phone. </p><p>With her eyes still closed, she began calling for Sara : "ma...ma...mam..ah...ma....may...ma....ma....ma..ma.." She squeezed her eyes in pain, she was probably hallucinating or having a bad dream in the throes of fever. </p><p>"Hey..hey, hey, hey...Faith, I'm here baby, you're not alone.." Michael caressed the top of her head calming her as she panted from the single effort of uttering a few words..</p><p>Wait. Had she just said her first word ? mama ?</p><p>"Faith, I'm so sorry I can't be there and I can't hold you, but I love you, and I am with you, you're gonna get through this my sweet baby." Sara cooed on a breaking voice. </p><p>"She just said her first word." Michael noted with a hopeful smile and heard Sara sniff, he looked at the screen. "Oh Sara, don't cry..please." His heart broke.</p><p>"She said her first word in an unconscious painful state, and it's mama, she's calling for me, she needs me and I cant even be there for her." Sara said regretfully, biting her lips and swallowing the tears.</p><p>"I am here for her, she's not alone Sara, I'm right here..." Michael pointed out, caressing Faith's side with a gloved index tenderly. </p><p>Sara closed her eyes and nodded. "I never wanted her to get this, I don't want anyone to get this, how did it happen, we were so careful.." Sara regretted. </p><p>"Do you think you could have infected her before we knew you were sick ?" Michael asked, what was done was done, but if he had done a mistake, they needed to know how and when Faith was infected.</p><p>"No, the incubation period would be over, she'd have shown signs way before." Sara assured. "I don't blame you Michael, this is all on me." Sara shook her head seeing him try to get the moment when he would have missed a caution. </p><p>"But, I don't understand, I washed my hands all the time, changed gloves everytime before touching her, always wore a mask, I didn't even let her near you, how can this be ?" Michael frowned.</p><p>"Don't blame yourself, this thing, we don't know anything about it, it's in the air, on the walls, everywhere." Sara shook her head.</p><p>Michael thought for a couple of seconds, his LLI doing a work of examinating each detail of his memory like no one else. He wahsed hands, he cleaned, he disinfected....disinfectant ? Faith's wound...made with glass shreds Sara had drunk from....</p><p>"Oh no..." Michael let out, holding Faith's tiny foot and stroking her toes.</p><p>"What ?" Sara asked.</p><p>"Remember when you couldn't breath ? and you collapsed, Mike had taken the glass you drink from, and he broke it,  Faith, she hurt herself with a shred of that glass.." Realisation dawned upon him and Sara let out a low gasp.</p><p>"That was when ? Seven, eight days ago ?" Sara counted, it was highly possible...</p><p>"I had disinfected her..but I guess it was too late." Michael sighed.</p><p>"It's not your fault Michael, I should have gone somewhere else, a hotel room, anywhere, not only I was a burden on you but I also infected and endangered our children." Sara remorsefully said watching her babe suffering, she seemed to be panting, not being able to breath properly.</p><p>"Don't go there Sara, please. Faith could have been infected through a millions ways. Her constants are good, stable and good, and her fever is going down, this has to be a good sign, she'll get through it." </p><p>Sara sighed pained, to even have such a little baby battle with this terrible of a virus.</p><p>"You take care of Mike okay, poor boy musy be so worried...and rest too, we can't have you getting worst again." Michael instructed.</p><p>"Yeah, I'll wake Mike.." Sara said putting on a new mask.</p><p>"Good, tell him everything's okay. He should start his homework, I'll help him when I'm back." Sara nodded.</p><p>"Okay, take good care of her, don't let her be alone and..could you record it if she said mama again ?" Sara asked and Michael smiled knowingly at her. It had still touched her and made her heart melt.</p><p>"Sure will, I'll call back soon. Love you." Sara waved with a sad smile.</p><p>"I love you too, both of you." </p><p>...        </p><p>Michael sat with Faith all the time, gently stroking her and talking to her in the moments she seemed more aware. She opened her eyes once, blinking at the harsh hospital lights.</p><p>Her tiny hazel eyes were full of pain, and she closed her fists, flailing them as she fussed, whimpering quietly. </p><p>Michael held her hands down, she might be unconfortable by the needles in her small hand, but she shouldn't tear them, it would only bruise her skin more. </p><p>"Sshh you're okay, I'm here.." Michael whispered soothingly.</p><p>At his voice and seeing his familiar face, Faith began fussing more, feeling vulnerable and obviously scared in the new surroundings. </p><p>"You don't have to be scared, dada's right here okay ?...My sweet girl, I know you're in pain, but you're going to be okay, just need some patience huh ?" Michael reassured, stroking her tenderly and Faith eventually settled down, maybe more because she was tired than anything else. </p><p>She scrunched her eyes suddenly and sneezed. Twice in a row. Michael fixed her beanie back and gently rubbed her head. </p><p>"Bless you baby." he cooed.</p><p>"Ma...ma....ma..ma...ma.." she mumbled closing her eyes again.</p><p>"You want Sara ? I know, I know baby, you'll see her soon, I just need you to get better and we can go home, to mama huh ?" Michael spoke to his daughter, knowing as Sara told him that this thing made patients feel so alone, even if someone is sitting right beside, because they're lost in their own oblivious world, somewhere between consciousness and slumber.</p><p>Faith had in the next minutes fallen deep alseep, her breathing coming labored. And Michael took that while to go and ask for her results.</p><p>Faith was positive. He sighed staring at the report. He knew, but there was still a tiny hope inside him that it could be a regular flu.</p><p>He sent that to Sara. She had busied herself in helping Mike in his homework, sitting in her room and skyping him, wanting to respect every security measure to avoid another of her kids going down with this, when she got the mms. </p><p>She breathed, knowing it could only be the virus, no flu could get you to have that much of fever, unless exposed to hyperthermia for a long time which Faith ofcourse, hadn't been, it was Chicago, not Dubaï.</p><p>"I knew, I just pray she gets well soon..I'd hate myself if this left her any sequel." she wrote to Michael.</p><p>"This is not on you, please don't blame yourself Sara." Michael wrote back as he walked back to Faith's baby care unit. </p><p>A nurse, maybe an intern was checking her constants, looking alarmed, and Michael hurried back.</p><p>"what's wrong ?" He asked immediately.</p><p>"sorry, you are ?" She asked, visibly not used and a little hesitant herself.</p><p>Michael didn't blame anyone, he was thankful for all the students and interns that had been requitionned for this, but he needed Faith to be okay, and she might need a proper doctor if anything was wrong.</p><p>"I'm her father, what's going on ?" Michael insisted.</p><p>"I was just sent to check on her, and uh...her fever is too high, it's rising again, and her heartrate isn't too good. I will call a doctor." The intern only said, unsure herself and left.</p><p>Michael sat by Faith, holding her tiny hand with his newly gloved ones, he had just worn a new pair at the entrance of the unit.</p><p>She was indeed hot, just like she was previously at home, she was burning and too quiet, as if in a deep, deep sleep. </p><p>Her breathing seemed even more labored than earlier and Michael's worry constricted features could only observe her helplessly.</p><p>Doctors, even though the situation in hospitals was obviously a mess did their best to come check a patient within the next half an hour. </p><p>Nearly not enough, it had only been a little less than five minutes, when Faith started convulsing violently.</p><p>Absolutely in shock, Michael gasped and shouted for a doctor, trying to hold her down, her tiny little body violently shaking. </p><p>Before he knew, doctors were holding his hands and pushing him back. </p><p>"Don't hold her down, you need to let this pass." A middle aged man with gloves told him an arm infront of him.</p><p>All the doctors stood away, watching helplessly for seconds as Faith convulsed continuously. Michael wanted to scream at them to do something, he was horrified.</p><p>Finally, with some mercy, they stopped, and as he stayed where he was, in shock, the doctors rushed upon her. </p><p>"BP's too high." The middle aged man constated.</p><p>"She isn't getting enough air, her lungs are failing Dr.Robert !" the same  intern as earlier urged, more easily panicked than a doctor.</p><p>"Okay, we need to go, right now." The doctor decided and they rushed Faith's tiny bed out of the room, Michael following them to the corridor and trying to get a look of Faith between the cohort of running doctors, in vain. </p><p>He fell on a waiting chair. The shock still paralysing any of his thought, and he moaned quietly in woe and let the shock dwell, he swallowed.</p><p>.........</p><p>Sara had made some lunch, being careful with gloves and not touching anything with her hands. </p><p>Mike and her ate together, on their far ends of the table but at least they saw each other and talked.</p><p>Mike being surprisingly stronger than her, had calmed her fears. Told her Faith was strong, that she would make it, and Sara almost believed in his words. </p><p>Feeling better afterwards as she did the washing up, she was still tired, immensely so, but was much better, even breathing was easier today.</p><p>Her phone rang, and she quickly dried her hands with a napkin, seeing Michael's ID and immediately picking up.</p><p>"Hey, how's Faith ? Has her fever got down ?" Sara asked with a little hope.</p><p>Michael closed his eyes, he had just composed himself after speaking with the doctors and feeling his heart break down.</p><p>"Sara.." He began with a hoarse voice.</p><p>Sara's smile fell and she held the kitchen counter at his voice. He was, or had cried. </p><p>"Michael ?" She let out fear gripping her heart. </p><p>"They intubated her.." Michael's broken voice told her.</p><p>Sara felt dizzy, her heart pounding with fear and she exhaled shakily. "Wha- when ? how ?" </p><p>"Her fever got worse, she had..she had convulsions...and she couldn't breath." Michael explained pressing his eyes closed and wanting all of this to be a nightmare.</p><p>Sara grabbed a chair, sitting down and trying to process informations. She imagined her baby having heart tearing convulsions, that she saw dozen times on patients, being intubated, god she knew the procedure and it broke her heart. </p><p>The tears filled her eyes as she brought her fingers to her lips to choke back a sob. </p><p>"Sara ? Tell me she's going to be okay, please." Michael begged miserably.</p><p>Artificial coma, lungs damage, possible reins failure, melting of muscles due to accelerated metabolism. possible death. Sara knew it all.</p><p>"Oh Michael..." Sara moaned against her hand.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Sara I'm sorry.." He said broken too and Sara shook her head miserably, why was he sorry ?</p><p>"I need to see her, I need to hold her.." Sara sniffed wiping her eyes.</p><p>"You know you can't." Michael reminded, helpless, he could understand, but he wasn't sure seeing Faith like she was right now, machines attached to her and that huge tube between her small lips, taped harshly against her cheek as the machine kept her ventilated, was a good idea for Sara, she may be a doctor used to such sights but at the end of the day she was a mother.</p><p>"No..I couldn't hold her when she was born.." Sara began, Faith's birth had been less than smooth, it was a rushed C-section due to complications with Sara's state, premature, and she couldn't breath on her own and needed incubation, Sara, hadn't been able to hold her for weeks.</p><p>"I want to hold her when...if..if she dies." Sara said, cynically, biting her lip, no, if Faith was to die she wanted to give her the best, to keep her confortable and loved and held.</p><p>"Shut up ! She isn't...she won't go anywhere...take that back, please take that back." He held his head closing his eyes.</p><p>"We have to face it Michael." Sara said hopelessly.</p><p>"No, no, no. She is healthy, she is a baby, so many patients are getting out of reanimation alive. The cases of death are low, specially for babies, you know that." Michael pointed.</p><p>"Her lungs have always been weak...maybe it's what's meant to be, I mean, what kind of a world is this to live in Michael ?" Sara shook her head in misery, all the deaths she saw flashing before her eyes, all the families she had to coldly break the news to, all those times she made a decision that impacted or cost a life because of budgets cuts made on hospitals.</p><p>"What ? Damn you Sara.." Michael said in shock, because, what the hell was she saying ? that Faith should die ?</p><p>Sara sobbed, she knew she was a terrible mother, which mother wished that ? She always knew she wasn't good enough.</p><p>"You need to have faith, please sweetheart, have faith in Faith...she's going to make it, she's a warrior." Michael said looking Faith's pale face.</p><p>"She shouldn't be in that much pain in the first place." Sara let tears fall silently, maybe it was karma, karma for letting that little girl die, karma for letting all those people die..</p><p>"Promise me you'll keep hope, I need you Sara, I can't do this alone." Michael requested as both parents miserably drowned in fear of losing their precious child.</p><p>"I...Michael I don't know, I'm so scared." she admitted letting a tear fall.</p><p>"Me too, but we need to be strong for her right ?" Michael whispered.</p><p>"Right.. I'm so sorry Michael.....I didn't meant.. I don't want her to die." Sara's voice broke.</p><p>Michael shut his eyes. "I know." </p><p>"I'm just tired and my mind's not at a good place right now.." she admitted.</p><p>"I know sweetheart, it's been hard on you huh ?" Michael asked.</p><p>"I'd like to think I am stronger than this, but watching so much death and suffering, then being sick for days and now..my little baby.." Sara choked back the tears.</p><p>"Close your eyes and rest, it might be your BP, you're still fragile and I'm worried about you too.." Michael frowned.</p><p>"I should have been intubated, not her, why ? she's a baby." Sara shook her head.</p><p>"Sara, Sara sshh....listen to me, close your eyes and rest." </p><p>Sara sighed. "Okay, but call me whenever..."</p><p>"I will call you, keep faith. Love you." Michael hang up, he was worried himself and Sara was usually so good at reassuring. </p><p>But right now she sounded broken herself. She was a mother afterall..and a doctor, she must know things he doesnt. He worriedly looked at Faith's intubed face feeling his own heart constrict.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hello all of you, thank you for reading my story, please leave a review :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Step by Step</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Step by Step, as Michael and Sara beat the older Scofield girl's health, the smaller is hooking to a thread, or a wire for that matter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mike heard his mom talking to the phone to his dad. All he knew was that there was a virus in the world that had stopped school and dad's work, it sounded like an apocalypse scenario and he didn't like the sound of that. </p><p>Mom was always tired when she got home, barely had time for him but dad said she was saving lives, and Mike understood, mom was a doctor afterall, something he was personally so proud of.</p><p>Mike had always had a sharp personality and a different approach of things, if he adored realistic greek heroes instead of Marvel's avengers at the age of seven, today his heroes were the real people that saved lives, that fed the world, that were professors and teachers and raised awareness. </p><p>And this though of Mike never sounded as true as right now. He was a little panicky at the begining of the quarentine, didn't understand much what was happening, afterall he had just came back two days ago from a ski trip with school in a small town of Canada, and there was no case nor news there.</p><p>But as soon as his bus dropped him and mom and dad both picked him, mom having just finished her shift a little after 1 am and dad having picked her from the train station, they told him to say goodbye to friends and teachers. Mike had asked why, he would see them after the week end, it wasn't holidays yet.</p><p>And they had told him schools were closed from monday. From that, Mike had been troubled the first days, how to adjust to school from home, mom's hectic shifts, it all stressed him.</p><p>Right when he was a little used to it and was confortable with his routine, mom was sick. Mike had believed this would be like the flu and would be okay.</p><p>But the measures dad took, the doctor coming to see her home, which their doctor never did, never. Her other doctor did, only once, the doctor whom dad told him was her women's doctor, it was a night when mom still had Faith inside her belly...no uterus, and she had been in pain and the doctor had came in to check her.</p><p>But their family doctor, the generalist, he never came home, never ever.</p><p>What sent Mike over the edge of panic was when mom fell and could not breath. The sight itself was frightening and if he had picked Faith and gone away, it had shaken him. He had later done researches on what they called the covid-19, even if dad had told him not to. </p><p>And what he read frightened him even more to the point he cried thinking mom would die. But dad was here, dad reassured him and told him it would be okay. </p><p>Things got a little better as mom seemed to slowly recover. He spent his days doing art and homework and staying with Faith.</p><p>She was his little sister and so important to him, his friend and support already at such a young age.</p><p>As long as he had Faith it was okay. And then one night, he was woken by ambulance siren and he saw mom and dad helpless as they took Faith away.</p><p>Since then, mom had tried to hide it a lot but she was worried, frightened, panicked even. And even if he was too, at the begining, Mike wanted to support mom however she needed him.</p><p>And today he had a little idea.</p><p>"Mom ?" He called from the doorframe, always keeping distance.</p><p>"Yes baby ?" Sara anwsered with a smile, composing herself and pushing the tears away.</p><p>"I need your help for homework, we have an assignement where we need to put pictures of our siblings with us and tell a memory in spanish." Mike lied, he knew lying was wrong, but dad told him if lying was made to save someone, to make anyone happy without doing damage then it wasn't so wrong.</p><p>"Uh yeah, okay, I'll find you one." Sara promised.</p><p>"Can we look at all of them together and I chose ?" He requested hoping she'd accept.</p><p>"Okay, just let me..finish the washing up right ?" Mike smiled at his little victory. </p><p>Sara inhaled, she had to push back her fears and tender emotions right now and be there for their son. She squeezed her eyes and inhaled, calming down before joining Mike.</p><p>She put on the TV, opening the "Faith" folder as Mike and her sat at opposite ends of the living room.</p><p>"where do we start ?" She asked.</p><p>"Can we start from the begining ?" Mike requested and Sara gave in.</p><p>The first couple of pictures of Faith were with her in an incubator, hooked to breathing and food supply. </p><p>Sara felt her breath itch, the sight was always heartbreaking to her, as it had been back then but she at least had a safe, healthy and big baby in front of her eyes to make it better, it was the past.</p><p>Now, she imagined Faith hooked to machines again and a lump formed in her throat.</p><p>She quickly skipped the first few pictures, one of Michael's finger held in Faith's tiny fist while she was still incubated, it was the first time they were allowed to touch her.</p><p>Then came the first picture of Faith in her arms, when she finally had been able to hold her.</p><p>She looked at the smile of relief and the shining eyes watching her child in the photo and a small smile appeared on her lips, it was one of the happiest moments of her life.</p><p>There was a picture of Michael holding her, the grin on his face bigger as ever as his eyes were glued to his precious newborn. </p><p>Sara clicked next on the TV remote again and couldn't help her smile.<br/>"Here you go." She smiled tenderly pausing on the first picture of Mike holding Faith on the hospital chair.</p><p>"Hey she was so tinyy!" Mike exclaimed laughing a little.</p><p>Sara smiled and chuckled, Faith was indeed tiny at birth, weighing barely a couple of kgs. She was premature afterall. But in Mike's small arms she didn't look so small, Mike stared at her in wonder as Faith gripped his shirt in her little wrinkled newborn hands.</p><p>Sara allowed a breath to leave her lungs, this was probably one of her most treasured picture, her two children whom she loved immensely meeting each other for the first time.</p><p>Mike wasn't so keen on the idea of having a little sibbling at first. Even thought they'd waited and planned Faith's conception. He wasn't exactly against, he was okay with it, he just wasn't as excited as they'd hoped he would.</p><p>And he had a lot of questions, some technical and embarassing, others emotionally heart breaking, such as "why did dad left when I was inside you ? did he not want me ?" The boy had one day asked, insecure at seeing his dad's obvious enthousiasm for their born to be.</p><p>Michael and her had promised him that it wasn't the case, that Michael loved and wanted him just as much. Michael even, to her surprise, breaking in tears and pressing Mike close to him and promising there was nothing he'd wanted more than to feel him inside mom and be there when he was born. </p><p>Sara too had tears in her eyes at that discussion.</p><p>But god, as soon as he had held Faith, he fell in love with her.</p><p>All of Mike's doubts and hesitances went away and he was always enthousiast to take care of her, wanting to chose the outfit she'd wear coming home, helping Michael give her the first bath home as Sara was restricted to bed for a while after her C-section.</p><p>Learning with a few loops how to button up an onesie, brushing her softest of hair himself.</p><p>Mike was simply in love, and he and Faith has soon became inseparable. Faith rarely played as excitedly as when with Mike, he soon was even okay to watch her as she and Michael went for a little dinner night out for the first time after her recovery, she had never thought she could be, but she was so relaxed that night, not worried for the slighest as Mike updated them regularely and Sara was much less worried than if she had left them with a baby sitter.</p><p>They were softening their parenting after all ? New Michael Scofield's idea. She was pretty sure they all changed a lot since Faith's birth.</p><p>Sara kept going through the pictures, most of them atendring her with love, Faith in hers or Michael's arm, Faith with Mike. </p><p>Faith's first smile. All her little moments. </p><p>"Oh that's from LJ's wedding !" Mike exclaimed and Sara smiled seeing Faith in a little light pink dress, she looked so adorable as she sat in her arms.</p><p>Sara felt something constrict in her heart, what if she lost her ? </p><p>The latest pictutes were barely a month old, Michael had taken them at the supermarket with Faith sitting in the kart's baby seat, looking so happy and playful, she held a toothbrush in one lf them looking at it with the concentration only Michael Scofield could decipher, but the world seemed already so different.</p><p>Sara put off the TV, sniffing and smiling slightly.</p><p>"You don't need to worry mom, Faith will be okay." Mike promised and Sara looked at him and smiled. </p><p>It had done her so much good to see the pictures.</p><p>..................</p><p>Michael closed the door as he came in. </p><p>"Dad !" Mike rushed to greet him but Michale held his gloved hands up.</p><p>"Wait a second Mike." He promised and discarded his gloves and masks and washed his hands.</p><p>Sara too awaited him. "Any change ?" she asked and Michael sighed, eying Mike. </p><p>They shouldn't break in front of him.</p><p>"Dad how is Faith ?" Mike asked impatiently.</p><p>"She's just a little sick, they wanted to keep her in observation, hopefully she should be fine in some days, you don't need to worry." Michael fakely reassured Mike, kssing the top of his forhead.</p><p>"See, I had told you mom." Mike exclaimed and Sara tried to keep the tears at bay, giving him a smile.</p><p>"Yeah, let dad rest now, okay ? I'll stay with you for the end of the movie." Sara ushered him away and her eyes locked with Michael's.</p><p>"I'll take a shower." He decided and she nodded. "Okay."</p><p>After finishing the Dinsey movie with Mike and putting him to bed, Sara walked to their room and closed the door behind her to see Michael sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.</p><p>He looked up, eyes red and tired.</p><p>"Hey, why were you not wearing a mask, are we out of them ?" Michael asked and Sara shook her head slightly.</p><p>"The doctor came this afternoon, to check me, said that my hypertension was the only thing to watch, that I beat this thing and am finally immune, theorically meaning I can't infect anyone else nor get infected again.." Sara said standing where she was but Michael stood up at her words.</p><p>"Really ?" He asked and Sara nodded.</p><p>"Then come here." He opened his arms for her and Sara didnt waste a second and closed the space between them melting against him and holding him tight.</p><p>And that's when both allowed themselves to weep.</p><p>Michael pressing Sara close, holding the back of her head and kissing her hair as his tears melted with her auburn tresses. He wept if relief, because afterall, before the trauma of his daughter, he had been gut scared for Sara too, and he was so glad she was okay and had made it.</p><p>Sara let her tears stain his shirt too, weeping on his shoulder and pressing her face into him as she inhaled his familiar scent. Because she had missed him too, his touch, his embrace, his presence beside her in bed.</p><p>She had been, in the darkest moments thinking she would die, die without getting a last embrace from Michael, die and he wouldn't even be able to touch her death body.</p><p>And both cried, obviously for the tension and mix of emotions they felt since the past 24 hours, for their daughter, letting their hearts out.</p><p>Because it was their baby that was now between life and death, their blood, the little girl they adored inside her mother's womb for nine months and cherised in flesh and soul for six months into this world. </p><p>The pain of the sole thought of losing her was heartwrenching for both the parents.</p><p>Sara sobbed and Michael tightened his hold weeping and sniffing against her.</p><p>He had thought he'd keep it together, be strong for Sara, because she was a mother right ? But he couldn't help it, as soon as he held her his composure broke because he was a father too.</p><p>And god knew Michael adored Faith, he was already protective and loving of Mike but doing it all since the begining, Michael loved Faith immensely, he was the best father Sara ever imagined he could be, Mike wasn't the only one in love with Faith, Michael was too.</p><p>She still remembered the twinkles in his eyes for their baby during her whole pregnancy, and when he first held her, he was in awe. Since then Michael has been totally, absolutely at little attentions for Faith. </p><p>And she ? Sara didn't knew if she could compete for best mother compared to Michael or even if she was good enough, the only thing she knew is that she loved her daughter. She loved her as much as any mother loved her child and losing her would destroy her. How would she live without Faith ? </p><p>Michael held her elbows composing himself and breaking their embrace as he guided her to sit on the bed.</p><p>Sara wiped her cheeks, sniffing and composing herself.</p><p>"Tell me everything you know." She requested on a broken voice.</p><p>Michael squeezed her hand, brining it to his lips and kissing her palm, glad he could touch her again. </p><p>Sara used that same hand to stroke his chest, just above his heart.</p><p>"I..I went to check the results of her tests after she fell asleep.." Michael began, sniffing too and pushing back the tears as Sara handed him a tissue. "Thanks." He wiped his eyes.</p><p>"The test was positive.." he told the tale again, Sara listening attentively.</p><p>"And when I came back, her constants were not good, something was wrong with her heart rate and  her fever was back again, so a doctor was fetched but..." Michael paused and inhaled hard.</p><p>"Before he could come, she...she started convulsing..." Michael looked down to his hands.</p><p>Sara's breath itched and she looked down too, closing her eyes at the painful image forming in her head.</p><p>"The doctor came and they took her, she couldn't breath on her own and they intubed her.." Michael shook his head in misery.</p><p>"My baby...she must feel so alone, they hear and feel everything.." Sara bit her lip, not imagining the fear going in Faith's mind at only hearing the buzz of the hospital and the steady beep of her constants, away from home, away from her parents, such a small baby didn't even knew hospitals were places to cure, that doctors would help her. It was like being taken away and didnt knowing what was done to you and why.</p><p>"I know...I spoke to her all afternoon, I was there, I told her how much her mama loved her, I told her Mike would be inconsolable if anything happened to his baby sister, I told her dada would cry forever..." Michael closed his eyes and Sara bit her lip her eyes filling again.</p><p>"Michael.." She tried.</p><p>"I told her she was the most beautiful girl in the world, after her mama, told her she was the sweetest and strongest baby, that she needed to fight and be strong." <br/>Michael continued and Sara sniffed the tears falling again.</p><p>"I want to treat her myself.." Sara cursed, wanting the best for her child and not at ease knowing she was in the hands of a staff of doctors who even with their best will were exhausted and overled, were not given enough and were overriden with pressure and anxiety themselves.</p><p>"You know you can't." Michael shook his head.</p><p>"I'm going to see her tomorrow.." Sara said resolutely.</p><p>"Sara ? What do you know ?" Michael asked and Sara took a breath.</p><p>"Patients in reanimation needs a lot of oxygen, but just the right dose, too much pumping can be harmful and not enough is well...not enough. They're also drugged heavily, to remain asleep, she's gonna have her muscles melt and for such a small baby it's dangerous, she may loses her reflex abilities, no sitting up by herself, no crawling.." Michael closed his eyes in pain.</p><p>Why had he complained Faith would crawl around too much ? Here, fate mocked him, problem solved.</p><p>"She..the covid is having weird reactions on some intubed patients, neurological impacts, on synapses, on memory, on sensory reflex, on taste and smell..." Sara stopped, pausing to look at Michael and her face crumpled as their eyes met.</p><p>"I just hope she's okay, that we won't have to go there.."</p><p>Both of them looked at each other, angst filling their eyes.</p><p>.............</p><p>Sara shifted for the nth time and Michael sighed, sleep was the last thing that could get to both of them. They were on edge, on the edge of a huge precipice, tetanised with fear that they'll lose their child.</p><p>"Sara, you need to sleep, you tension will rise again." Michael gently whispered.</p><p>"I am trying." Sara mumbled against his arm.</p><p>Michael breathed in and closed his own eyes, but each time he did, Faith's lifeless form hooked to the machines apeared before his eyes, the steading pumping of the respirators and the beeping of the heart monitors echoing in his ears.</p><p>He opened his eyes, sighing softly again, his heart taken by a bizzare kind of anguish.</p><p>"Michael ?" Sara called looking up at him.</p><p>He turned his head towards her inquietive eyes.</p><p>"What do we do if something happens to her ?" Sara asked, almost innocently, because he always had a plan to make things right. </p><p>Michael blinked and swallowed the lump in his throat as pressed a kiss on her forehead.</p><p>"I don't know.." he said sounding utterly lost and Sara's breath itched as she closed her eyes, her features literally crisping from the emotional pain.</p><p>Michael pulled her closer, holding her again him and Sara kissed his neck, both holding each other in total anguish. </p><p>She had to make it, or they both knew a part of themselves would die with her.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know it took me long to update this one, things have been intense in the world and I hope you're well,</p><p>Happy reading and please review :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>First thing in the morning, Sara woke early and showered. </p><p>Michael hadn't been able to sleep much in the night, the gutwrenching fear of losing Faith not letting his mind be at peace as flashes of her weak mumbles of calling out to Sara, the heart shattering convulsions that tore through her tiny body and the machines they hooked to her kept appering in his dreams.</p><p>He was trying, to keep the composure, to hold it all in, for Sara's sake, but as soon as she left, shutting the door behind her.</p><p>He broke. Allowing himself to weep in his pillow. Michael was a grown man, and god knew there had been though times in his life, the longing of Sara and his son sometimes physically made him ache, tormented his sleep. But never did it feel like this.</p><p>Because then, they were both safe, and content if not happy.</p><p>Right now. Losing a baby, a daughter seemed unimaginable. And actually seeing her in pain was what broke him.</p><p>Michael would do 100 Ogygia's again if it meant his family, Sara and the children were safe and sound.</p><p>But he realised, it wasn't how it worked. If having the choice at a time had felt like the most cruel delimma, not having any choice was the worst. Helpless. He was absolutely helpless and there was no trade or game he could play, no plan he could make.</p><p>And that helplessness made him weep</p><p>........</p><p>Sara's eyes fell on her small hand, curled in a fist as the tube harshly invaded her body, taped rawly on her tender of skin and bruising her tiniest of lips. </p><p>"You're the strongest woman I ever know."</p><p>No. Right now Sara wasn't strong. She wasn't an experienced doctor. She wasn't the woman who's been on the run. Who raised her son alone after losing her everything. She wasn't strong and she didn't want to be. She was just a mother and seeing her little baby like that tore her insides. </p><p>And it was like her heart was smashed into pieces. Maybe for the first time of her life, Sara felt such a pain.. The pain of being a helpless mother. </p><p>It was raw and destroyed everything she was, thought, strong, experienced.. It was almost primal and for a moment, she even willed for Faith to die. Maybe then she wouldn't hurt anymore ? because it was her suffering that tortured Sara's heart. </p><p>She didn't weep, didn't let the tears drop. But the pain made her throat ache and her eyes burn, </p><p>....................</p><p>"Mom ?" Mike called out to her and Sara did her best to look composed for him.</p><p>"Yes ?" She turned to him.</p><p>Mike looked hesitant, playing with his hands and avoiding her eyes.</p><p>"You know that science project we have to do in group.." Mike began.</p><p>"Yeah, have you got all the info, I'll film you." Sara promised.</p><p>They had a group presentation and each would film their part and then make a video montage of it to send to their professors.</p><p>"But Brian wants us to meet outside and says its better to shoot it out.." Mike blurted eying his feets and Sara looked sharply at him.</p><p>"What ? No, you're not going out." Sara said firmly, she had had that thing, one of her children was between life and death, it was enough.</p><p>"I told him that mom, that my parents won't let me out. And he just, doesn't reply now. What do I do, we have to send that work in two days." Mike complained and Sara sighed.</p><p>"I'll call his mom. Don't worry." She promised.</p><p>Sara dialled Margaret Smith, Brian's mother, thinking she would just tell her to reason her child, she probably didn't knew about this herself and would tell her own son to stay home too.</p><p>"Hello Margaret ? It's Sara Scofield, Mike's mom." Sara courtly introduced herself.</p><p>"Oh Mrs.Scofield, we finally talk in person, you seemed too busy to help your son with homework lately." She laughed haughtily and Sara raised her eyes taking it on a light tone and chuckled.</p><p>"Yeah well...tell me, the children have this project where they have to film themselves while talking, and...and I've heard that Brian wants to do it out ?" Sara informed, finding the prospect ridiculous.</p><p>"Yes, and I was baffled that you and Mr.Scofield wouldn't let Mike out.." Sara frowned.</p><p>"Uh..Mrs.Smith you realise we are not in any kind of normal situation right ? I wouldn't have any problem with trusting Mike and Brian to go out on their own, but this is not the right time." Sara simply explained, trying not to yell of indignity and keeping her calm.</p><p>"Don't tell me you believe what the mainstream medias say ? Mrs.Scofield, this is just a flu."</p><p>"A flu ?" Sara chuckled and let out a nervous laugh. "You know people are dying right ? that they're being intubed, that even those who make it will have sequels all their lives." Sara pointed, trying to sound objective and not let what she saw at work cloud her vision.</p><p>"It's all a hoax by the chineese. What about all those who lost their jobs, my husband can't provide for us, this is a crime to our freedom right. We're joining the protests against this stay at home bullshit, ain't no government telling me what I shall do." Sara shook her head realising it was a lost case and closed her eyes, still she had to try, as a citizen, as a doctor, as a mother.</p><p>"Freedom ? what freedom will be left if we die ? there's the right to live." Sara tried.</p><p>"Oh come on, don't tell me you're one of those cowards who won't stand for her freedom because she fear a flu!" Margared taunted and Sara took a deep breath trying to calm herself, to not take it personally, to not retort that she was actually a battler that had fought to save lives, that had overriden herself for weeks and put herself and her whole family at risk. She blinked back the tears that appeared at that thought. her family, her daughter, for people like these ? was it even worth it ?</p><p>"2nd amendement my dear." Sara rolled her eyes, what had the 2nd amendement even has to do with freedom of going out ?</p><p>"Margaret, I am sorry but I think you're being absolutely foolish, I am a doctor and I have seen what this is, it's not a flu. I even had it, my daughter has it..." Sara tried to keep her voice even. "This is serious, and if you're not respecting quarentine, then know that you're risking lives!" </p><p>"How dare you ?! It was you ? that filthy doctor who brought that disease to our neighborhood, you picked your career and your selfish will to be high, to always take risks, and you put your children in danger instead of staying home like a dutiful wife and raising them, and here you lecture me about responsabilities and saving lives!" Margaret shot back.</p><p>"Wha-?" before Sara could respond she was cut again. "Everyone here knows your history, good lord, you had an affair with a con, went to prison yourself for murder, and you dare moralise me ?"</p><p>Baffled, Sara tightened her jaw. "I don't allow you to speak in that way about me and my husband, you don't know us." Sara said back in a tight voice.</p><p>"You're a sinner, have never seen you go to no church either, this virus is god's punishement, get the hell out of our street!" Margaret shouted and Sara, shocked retorted back. "I won't leave my home, everyone here recongnise my work, I am not leaving because of a couple of retarded neighbors, was it you that sent me that note ?" </p><p>"What note ? It must have been someone else, everyone hates you, satanist bitch! We'll burn your house, you don't know who we are either, the lord is with us." </p><p>"Are you threatening me ? Do you hear yourself Mrs.Smith ? You're blinded by your narrow minded views and your uninformed theories. This is serious, and I have a daughter to care for, I can't deal with your nonsense." Sara prepared to hang up, it was useless going further with such people, they were dangerous, and so blinded by their fed ideology that they didn't even allow rational thinking.</p><p>She couldn't believe there actually were anti-quarentine protests happening, what was the the goal of them ? what did these people actually want ? she understood the ones who lost their jobs and incomes, but those weren't even complaining. Surely getting an haircut wasn't a motive to risk an human life.</p><p>"Well you know what, I know your daughter is in coma, ugh, I pray she dies, that's all you deserve. You hear me ? Your daughter deserves to die. You're an horrible former junkie of a mother anyway, she better be with god, I pray she dies so that the lord grant her salvation and spare her from the sinful parents she has. Know that god always punish the sinful, you murderer, you will lose your child, your baby will die." </p><p>Sara saw Faith's intubed body flash before her eyes and it was too much. "Shut up! Just shut up! My baby won't die!" Sara screamed back her voice breaking at the end as she hung up and held her fingers to her lips. "Faith won't die.." Sara whispered to herself tears breaking through her voice as she stared at the phone.</p><p>"Mom, what's wrong, what did Brian's mom say ?" Sara wiped her tear with her sleeve.</p><p>"We'll record your part and send it Mike, I'll call your teacher don't worry." she assured and walked past him going straight for Faith's room.</p><p>Sara's eyes fell on her infant's empty crib and the tears streamaed down her cheeks again, she bent over the crib and touched Faith's blanket with her fingers, ever so tenderly and her face crumpled, she gathered the blanket against her heart inhaling Faith's beloved baby scent, she sobbed, pressing the blanket against herself, her little innocent child..she didn't deserve to pay for her mistakes, she didn't deserves to suffer because of her. </p><p>Maybe Mrs.Smith was right, what kind of a mother was she to bring the virus to her children ? Why hadn't she stopped working ? Did she value her career and will to save lives more than her children ?  Was any noble cause more important than family ?  Was she selfish ?</p><p>Was Faith really better without her ? no...no. She loved Faith, with all her heart, she was so precious to her. She cherished her, and Michael adored her.</p><p>But then how had she treated her, never being home, dropping her at daycare, maybe she should have really stayed home to raise her children ? Was her will to work selfish ? Guilt gripped her insides, irrational guilt. Thinking she could have protected her chilren if she had just stayed in a hotel while she was sick, or even not gone to work at all.</p><p>But she was like that, she always wanted to save lives and be useful, she always wanted to make a change. She was passionate about her work. </p><p>Sara recalled how complicated her birth was, her baby was so small, she had barely made it, clinging to life even though she was weak and tiny. </p><p>She couldn't leave them now, not after they had grown to love her even more, she was only six months old but she had taken an important place in their heart and she couldn't die on them. </p><p>Sara sobbed harder recalling all her tiny moments, from feeding her to rocking her to sleep, playing with her, her tiniest smiles and blaber. And...she had said mama  god, pain gripped her heart squeezing it torturingly. She had said her first word.. Sara just wanted her to be alive, to be alive and be fine. To not be in pain. </p><p>"your baby will die."</p><p>Her entire body shuddered and shook with her sobs. Faith wouldn't die..please, please, please. The universe could take her life but not Faith, she was so small, so adorable.</p><p>From his room, Mike who tried to focus on doing his homework heard her sobs and frowned, he had followed the sound outside Faith's room and stood miserably hesitating about what he had to do.</p><p>Mike had never heard his mom cry like that, he hadn't even seen her cry at all, not since a long while, bar from few tears here and there at moments, and even from his earlier memories, when he was just 4 or 5, he just recalled her silently weeping when she missed dad, mostly. </p><p>But then, specially after she married Jacob, mom had changed, she no longer showed her vulnerable side to him and that hurt Mike a bit. She had coldened, she was always that strong adult, the figure that kept him grounded, that kept things in hands and that was in charge.</p><p>And even if she had let go of that rigid, almost iron made behaviour with dad's come back and had softened. She always kept her control and never showed any intense outburst of emotion in front of him.</p><p>Hearing her heartwrenching sobs made his heart hurt, why was she crying ? He knew Faith was very sick but she wouldn't die would she ? Because if that was the case Mike himself would cry, he loved his little sister so much.</p><p>But dad hadn't called, and mom seemed composed this morning, in fact she was completely normal, as normal as a mom with an hospitalised baby could be....until...she called Brian's mom. Mike linked the dots and as realisation dawned upon him, felt extremely guilty.</p><p>Brian's mom must have said something. Mike knew now, about dad's stay in prison and how he had saved uncle Mike, he knew mom was his doctor and that's how they met. Knew he was already inside mom when they got married, mom had told him that fondly. And dad had explained about the choices he had to make in the most intelligible of ways, like he always did, and Mike didn't judge them.</p><p>In fact, he loved his parents. They seemed to be so utterly in love and the first realisation that Mike had after dad came back was that, mom was happy, and Mike had realised he hadn't ever seen mom truly happy, not alone, not with Jacob.  Mom was happy because she always smiled, laughed all the time, was more relaxed than he had ever seen her.</p><p>He didn't condemn anything dad did, in fact, if Mike had to sacrifice himself to protect Faith and mom, he'd do the same as dad did. </p><p>However, he knew people judged them. The neighbors in Ithaca, many had for the few weeks they spent there, stared at mom in a weird way, behaved strangely with dad, he had even heart a bunch of housewifes saying "how had Sara let that con into her bed so easily ?" or that her "actions where driven by her pants". </p><p>Mike didn't knew what that meant back then, and now, if he didn't knew exactly how babies were made, Mike wasn't at the age of believing it was by mere kissing anymore, and for some reason, those remarks sounded offending about his mom and he didn't like that. </p><p>If Brian's mom too had judged mom and said mean things to her, while mom was vulnerable, Mike wouldn't forgive himself. What was the importance of a bad grade compared to his mom's humiliation. </p><p>He heard another of her sob and he almost teared up himself, his hand moving to the doorknob then retreating back. He hesitated. </p><p>He wanted to console mom, to tell her everything would be okay, but would he be able to calm her ? Maybe it was better if he let her alone, Mike knew his mom, she would certainly be very ashamed, because she was a little like dad, she liked to think she was fine. And knowing her son had seen her so vulnerable and broken might hurt her feelings and self esteem even more. </p><p>He prefered to go back to his room, still hearing her sobs, and sighed, he was so sorry, he never meant for mom to be insulted.</p><p>He hoped dad would be home soon, only he would be able to reason mom and the bliss of confort and belonging mom had on her face whenever she was embraced by dad, that's what she needed.</p><p>............</p><p>Mike's wish was granted, not more than five minutes later, he heard dad open the front door.</p><p>Dad looked exhausted, but smiled at him anyway greeting him and went to wash his hands and remove his protections, once that done he playfuly stroked his hair and Mike smiled a little.</p><p>"How was your day ?" Michael asked.</p><p>"Okay, did some homework and some drawing.." Mike shrugged and Michael nodded thoughtfully, knowing it was harder everyday to keep Mike closed off in an apartement.</p><p>"Dad ?" Mike called softly, hesitant.</p><p>"Yes, sweet boy ?" Michael anwsered with all his affection.</p><p>Seeing one child in that state had made him think a lot, he worked too much, 45 hours a week. He didn't spend nearly enough time with his children. </p><p>Dining and putting them in bed was not enough, he was missing on the real things in life, seeing his children grow, spending a little more time with Sara.</p><p>Their daily routine barely let them sit together at night and that was when her shifts corresponded his. Hadn't he craved for his family for seven years ? And what was he doing ? Would things really change if he worked only five hours a day ? Would they even miss the confort of buying whatever they want ? And savings, Michael saved more than half his salary and invested it like most Americans, but lately, he didn't wanted to worry Sara but they had lost everything due to the coronavirus Stock Market drop. </p><p>What had been the use ?</p><p>"Mom is not well dad...she needs you." Mike finally mustered the courage to say interrupting his thoughts and Michael's heart constricted in his chest. </p><p>He knew it wasn't a good idea for her to see Faith like that...but how could he stop her from seeing her child..</p><p>"Has she..?" Michael eyed Mike hinting him towards Sara's addiction. Mike knew for Sara's alcool problems, not the morphine, only alcool.</p><p>He had known it wasn't fair to Sara to tell about her alcohol addiction to Mike, withour her knowing. But he asked questions, why didn't mom drink while even he could have some dilued children wine at Christmas and event dinners ? </p><p>He figured he could trust Mike with that secret, the boy was intelligent and loved his mom more than anything, he would ever use that information in a way that could hurt her. </p><p>He hated himself, to doubt her sobriety right now but with all she had on her plate....even his own brain did loops. </p><p>"No, she didn't. But she called my friend's mom and I think they fought on the phone, she's been crying ever since in Faith's room." Mike explained and Michael's stomach ached.</p><p>"I'll get her, don't worry." Michael smiled a little and reassured his son, kissing the top of his hair and making his way through the corridor to Faith's room.</p><p>His breath itched as he heard Sara's loud sobs. Oh. He hadn't hear her sob like that in a long while, probably not since the early days of his come back when she would sob in relief that he wasn't dead or, in pain for the years they had lost. And when she was worried for Faith in her early days ofcourse.</p><p>He swallowed, his heart already bleeding at the tearing sound of her sobs. He ever so slowly closed the distance between him and the door, closed his eyes taking a deep breath and gathered the courage to open the door.</p><p>When he did, Sara almost jumped out of her skin, startled. And Michael was painfully reminded of the only time that happened, after the first time they made love in Chicago and he had found her scars.</p><p>This time, his eyes feel on an heartbroken mother, leaning against a crib and who clung to her infant's blanket, holding it against her heart and sobbing terribly, soaking it with tears in the process. Oh Sara..</p><p>He stepped towards her, his own eyes watering as the sobs wouldn't stop racking her body and "come here." He let out kneeling to her level and pulling her to his chest, holding the back of her head.</p><p>Faith's blanket fell to her lap as Sara held Michael back, as tight as she could, her body shaking against him.</p><p>"Sara...sweetheart please don't cry.." Michael whsipered in her hair, his own silent tears coating his cheeks. "Faith wouldn't want her mommy to cry, Faith wouldn't want you to be this pained.." Sara sobbed harder at Faith's name and he held her close feeling her hold on him tighten. </p><p>After a minute she backed, furiously wiping at her eyes. "I want to be strong, I am strong, I wouldn't cry in this situation normally Michael...I am stronger than this.." She mumbles and Michael frowned with pain.</p><p>"I know, I know...then why are you ?" He asked rubbing her cheek softly.</p><p>Sara's face crumpled and she closed her eyes. It tore through his guts to see her in this much pain. </p><p>"Because I'm certain she's going to die." Sara let out. </p><p>Michael gasped and involontarely took his hand back.</p><p>"How can you say that ?" He asked almost indigned.</p><p>"Michael you know she had chronical lung infections since her birth, her lungs are so weak, this thing...it infect your lungs and if she can't breath on her own, the longer they'll keep her down under...and the more complications, she's going to die Michael. I've been there, I've treated the patients and I always knew inside, who was going to survive and who wouldn't..she has no chance..." Michael sighed almost angrily.</p><p>"You can't say that, you cant think that godamn Sara..." </p><p>"Did you see how much weight she's lost ?" Sara whined. </p><p>Michael looked away. It was true, Faith looked like an underweight malnourished baby in the span of three days. Her nappies looked two sizes too big, her ribcage was visible...</p><p>"It's maybe what I deserve, for all the lives I let die by choice, for all the things I've done, and you've done in the past." </p><p>Michael shook his head closing his eyes, refusing to lay it all on guilt. "What are you saying ? I need you to believe in her, I need you to be hopeful, why are you being irrationally desperate Sara..." Michael breathed painfully.</p><p>"Then promise me she's going to be okay ? can you Michael ? what are her chances ?" Sara asked.</p><p>"Do you remember her birth ?" Michael asked rhetorically, ofcourse she did.</p><p>"The moment she came in this world she wasn't breathing, we didn't hear her cry and it scared the hell out of us...what were her chances then Sara ?" Michael asked in all honesty and Sara looked down, at the soft blanket in her lap..</p><p>"But she made it, didn't she ? She's a fighter..she has shown and proven it to you, then why don't you even give her the benefit of doubt ? why don't you trust her ?" Sara closed her eyes pained and ashamed.</p><p>"I am sorry..I just...I need her back Michael." Sara wept and he craddled her back against him.</p><p>"Me too..and we'll have her back sweetheart....I need you to believe that. To have faith."</p><p>..........</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Stars in the Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you all are fine and are still enjoying this story, thank you for the support I've been getting, specially on Instagram and I hope I do justice to everyone's expectations, happy reading :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Sara's eyes fell on Faith's intubed little form, she let out a pained breath as she let her bag rest on the hopital room's chair, it suddenly felt too heavy for her arm.</p><p>Her six months old lay there ackwardly, surounded by tubes and harsh injections in her little hands, one needle almost as big as her whole palm.</p><p>All color had drained from her face and she already looked two sizes smaller.</p><p>Sara took her gloved hands to Faith's adorable curly hair, it was just like Michael's, frizzy and voluminous and she loved caressing it as much as his. She sighed shakily.</p><p>"Hey Faith...its mama..." she whispered shakily. "I'm here baby, I'm right here." She let out and and closed her eyes looking down as her heart teared. </p><p>Pushing back the tears, she sniffed and caressed her ever so gently, looking at all the tubes and analysing them from her doctor point of view.</p><p>She picked her chart from the side of the bed and went through the pages. </p><p>She had been admitted with the covid, then the lungs inflammation got worse and her lungs weren't enough to keep her breathing. She was intubed. </p><p>Since then, her heartrate was unstable, BP still too high for a baby of her age, even...too low, highly unstable. </p><p>Sara sighed as she remembered all the risks of intubation that she had so many times told families not that long ago. Faith would lose weight, muscle more precisely, she wouldn't be able to crawl and it could impact her future ability to walk. Her vocal cords could have lesions causing a loss of voice...she had just said her first word....</p><p>Tears sprang from her eyes, she might be a doctor and strong enough with all she had seen in life, but she was so terribly weak when it came to her children. And Faith..she was so tender when it came to her, it was way too soon after her birth. </p><p>The second they had insized her and taken her out of her uterus, Faith already made her mother fright, she wasn't crying. </p><p>Not panicking at first, being a doctor, Sara had patiently waited with a nervous look while they cleared her nose and tried to get her to cry, even if Michael had began to be unsettled, his hand squeezing hers as tightly as it had seconds before, when they cut her open.</p><p>And then for days, no weeks, she was kept in an incubator, clinging to life by a thread and Sara kept telling herself to not be attached, to think of the worst and yet she had fought and made it...and now..Faith was again barely clinging to life.</p><p>Sara wished she could kiss her forehead, press her against her heart and tell her how much she loved her. "I love you Faith..mama loves you so so much, I'm so sorry..I'm sorry I brought this upon you, but you need to fight, okay sweet baby ? You need to fight for mama, for your dad and for Mike, your brother loves you so much, you're his princess you know that, I've never seen Mike care and protect anything this much.." She stopped, at loss of words.</p><p>Sara gently stroked her tiny shoulder. "You've always surprised me, uh little warrior ? I need you to fight now, to surprise me, prove me wrong and show me you're so so strong. Stronger than we all think." Sara paused and inhaled.</p><p>"You've so much to do, you have to grow and learn to walk, run around everywhere and make me and your dad crazy.." Sara smiled tearfully and chuckled.</p><p>"You have to talk more, blabber incomprehensible things to us....you have to try my bolognese pasta, that's Mike's favorite food in the world. And you have to go to school, hurt yourself in playgrounds, learn how to count and have a beautiful hand writing....and you'll make drawings for mama and dada right ? Just like Mike. You're going to be his best friend and at a point you both will share secrets and hide things from your old fashioned parents.." Sara chuckled.</p><p>"And then you'll get the best grades, graduate, have your first car, have teenage fights with me ? right, while dada will literally be your favorite..." Sara stopped, breathing shakily.</p><p>"You have so much to do sweetheart, you can't us leave now..." Sara tenderly stroked her forehead. </p><p>All she wanted was to take her in her arms and kiss her, confort her more than a few gloved touches.</p><p>............</p><p>Anger. Anger fueled in Michael's veins. How dare she ? how dare she put his little princess in that much pain. He couldn't bear that abuse. She had always put their children in harm's way. Hadn't she let the monster Poséidon was near Mike ? Michael's blood froze when he pictured the terrible murderer Jacob was, with his son. </p><p>And now she had let that invisible ennemy in their home. Let it near their innocent baby girl.</p><p>In frustration, he planted his fists against the matress, his left elbow coming to collide with Sara's stomach and startling her from her sleep with a gasp as she registred the pain. </p><p>Blinking, she looked at him frowningly. "Michael?" she asked taken aback. </p><p>Michael stood up stormingly and held his hand to his head, watching her slowly rise too in confusion.</p><p>"How could you?" He accused and Sara looked at him with pained uncomprehension.</p><p>"How..what ? Michael I don't understand.." Sara mumbled still sleepy.</p><p>"You're a monster!" He punched her, right across the face.</p><p>Sara looked up, with a bleeding lip and a bruised cheekbone, too shocked to register the pain. </p><p>Michael, her Michael had just hit her ? </p><p>He was having an LLI episode...that must be it. </p><p>"You brought this on Faith ! It's all your fault she's between life and death ! I hate you!" He shouted in her face.</p><p>He saw her gasp, blinking to the pain of the hit and then moaning in woe with the truthfulness of his statement. She had brough this upon Faith. </p><p>He looked at the pain in her eyes as she saw his hate and it only fueled it more. She should suffer as much as he did...all those years....while she slept with the same man who abused him physically and mentally everyday.</p><p>"I'm so sorry..." She shakily wept.</p><p>"You're sorry ? Right ! What is that going to change ? Will it make Faith okay again ?" Michael asked viciously and she shook her head.</p><p>"Please don't hate me...I'll make you another baby." Michael's blood boiled and he yanked her by the hair and pinned her against the headboard, her face pressed against the hard surface.</p><p>"Because you think you can replace her ?! You n think she is an object ?!" He shouted.</p><p>Then, he pushed her against the matress and in his fury driven rage. Hit her, again and again.</p><p>"You did this on purpose ! Godamn you ! You can never see me happy ! No one can ever see me happy ! You're jealous, everyone is always jealous of the most precious thing I have and takes them away from meee!! First Lincoln, then you and now...why did you do this ?!" He kept on beating her up and if she defended herself on the first few hits, holding her arms in front of her face, she was now completely powerless and at the mercy of his rage.</p><p>When he stopped, she begged and pleaded. "Please stop...Michael look at me....what are you doing ?" She begged, her face covered in bruises as well as the rest of her body and he kicked her out of spite again. "I hate you!" </p><p>"Why did you do this ??!!" He shouted, dragging her by the arms to the bathroom and filling the bath and then...</p><p>Michael woke with a gasp. He looked beside him. Sara slept soundly with her face turned away from him. Oh..thank god.</p><p>What kind of dream was that. He had known he was dreaming, everything was complitely irrational but he kept on abusing..abusing Sara as if it satisfied him ? </p><p>He frowned at the absolute absurd nature of his dream. If there was anything he felt for Sara it was complete admiration and selfless love. She was his everything and his home and he knew he'd love her forever. </p><p>He never held any rescent towards her for anything, never. If there was anyone he despied it was himself for having inflicted so much on her.</p><p>He blinked and sighed at the utter absurd and deranging feeling of his dream, nightmare. He did believe in the freudian concept of inconscient. But he didn't blame Sara, not for Faith, not for Jacob either...</p><p>He adored her. And..did he need to put words on his feelings for her ? Their magnitutude was way over any dictionnary.</p><p>What he knew however, and recognised now..was that he was angry inside, he had that pent up frustration, he remember how his early days back to life where, he could barely deal with the freedom given to him.</p><p>He had felt like drowning and god...it was Sara who had grounded him, who had directed him whenever he felt lost. He was so grateful to her. She would just smile at times and it would be enough to warm his heart and stop a PTSD episode.</p><p>It was the first time since he was back that he had felt this utter fear of losing someone he loved, because with Sara he knew she'd make it. But Faith ? He didn't knew. And he was powerless.</p><p>And it was this helplessness that echoed his captivity. Whenever he was hit, beaten, abused during these seven years he spent away, he didn't fight back. Never. He kept bearing the abuse, the insults, the inhuman treatement done to him, without ever as much as giving a punch back. </p><p>His anger wasn't directed at Sara, it was at this world, at circumstances for always rending him helpless. But Michael knew better now, he liked to believe he was okay, his LLI and PTSD episodes, his earlier panick whenever Mike so much as scratched himself, whenever Sara was in the slight unconfort had gone away..</p><p>Because once Mike had bruised his knee and Michael had panicked to the point of being unable to breath, begging Sara to take Mike to the hospital.<br/>And there was that one time, in the very early weeks, when Sara had a headache and he had wept, apologising again and again, promising that he didn't ever wanted to see her in pain..</p><p>No. Now Michael was a rational man. Sara's Michael, and he believed a decent father. He knew hitting a wall wouldn't make Faith okay, and he didn't even feel anger, just helpless and maybe slight frustration, if only things were in his hands.</p><p>He turned to watch Sara's back, he absently rubbed the bare spot on her shoulderblade where she had tattoed that blue origami. He loved it.</p><p>Her skin was moist, she was sweating slightly and he pulled the sheet further down for her to get some air. When they had entered quarentine, almost six weeks ago, the weather was pretty chilly, now he realised, it was a regular summer one.</p><p>She moaned slightly, shifting in her sleep and Michael kissed the back of her head, trying to go back to sleep.</p><p>++</p><p>Sara smiled, kissing Faith's softest hair and inhaling her baby scent. She played with her baby teddy thrusting it to her mother and Sara laughed, holding her babe close to herself and kissing her forehead.</p><p>The next second, Faith escaped her arms and they were suddenly on a sidewalk, it was deserted of any car and sent a shiver down her spine. </p><p>Faith began crawling towards the road and Sara stepped forward trying to stop her but she was met with a glass wall..how had Faith passed then ? </p><p>She watched with dread as Faith crossed the road and almost reached the other side of the road...crawling right below a dark shadow. There was someone on the other side, she realised.</p><p>Sara looked up and utter fear gripped her insides. There stood the Reaper. Black and menacing.</p><p>"Faith !" Sara called out, fear almost paralysing her throat. She looked up again and realised her side of the road had greenery, flowers and grass with a blue sky behind her while the other side was a dry earth with craws and dark clouds. </p><p>The Reaper had Faith in her skinless, bony arms. standing there, unmoved by anything and sending utter fear to Sara's heart. </p><p>"Faith.." Sara felt tears prick her eyes as she clutched the teddy in her hands.</p><p>Sara woke drenched in sweat. "Michael.." she mumbled still in the throes of her dream.</p><p>"I am here." Michael responded surprisingly quick, was he already awake ?</p><p>The nightmare had only been a picture of her fears. How could she tell Michael, that despite the fact that she was not that religious, she had hallucinated of the Reaper when she was herself sick, in the deepest throes of fever, it stood right beside their bed and still scared Sara to the point of making her anxious. She had hallucinated of Michael too, saw dark shadows..</p><p>God if that had played with her mind, she didn't knew what must be going on in her unconscious little baby's mind..she must be so frightened.</p><p>"You okay ?" Michael asked after a minute of her silence.</p><p>"Yeah..nightmare..." She shrugged looking straight at the ceiling.</p><p>"You too?" He asked softly and she turned to him.</p><p>Both smiled slightly at each other in understanding as Sara shifted closer to his arms, he embraced her, closing his eyes.</p><p>"Wanna talk about it ?" She asked playing with his fingers absently.</p><p>"No. You ?" Michael said softly and Sara shook her head.</p><p>"Right, because you're a little like me. You think you're fine..that you can handle it." Sara let out a throaty laugh..masking her feelings.</p><p>Both looked at each other and Michael bent to take her lips in his, she responded heatedly and both were lost in a frenzied dance of passion.</p><p>A much better way to express and let their pain out. It wasn't harsh or rough, never toxic to that point, and it felt good....to find each other again physically after weeks.</p><p>Afterwards, Sara laid upon him, stomach to stomach and heart to heart, her breasts deliciously pressed against his torso and her head resting on his chest. </p><p>She kissed his still sweaty shoulder and rubbed her hand tenderly on her favorite spot, the left side of his chest, right above his heart.</p><p>Michael absently caressed the sides of her waist, rubbing the skin on her hipbones.</p><p>"I was serious when I said I'd miss your little love handles." Michael quipped and Sara chuckled against his skin, esquissing a small smile.</p><p>"You're a liar.." she murmured, her voice muffled.</p><p>He rubbed his hand on the small of her back, kissing the top of her head. </p><p>After some minutes of silence, he heard her sniff and looked down to see her eyes squintted closed in pain.</p><p>"Did you see how much weight she has lost ?" Sara whispered on a teary voice.</p><p>Michael felt a lump in his troat, his comment on her love handles hadn't meant to trigger her thoughts on their daughter's weight loss.</p><p>Obviously he had seen, she had lost easily more than 3 kg, her once chubby arms and ankles were now scarily bone thin. Her full cheeks, always colored with the mirth of life and joy she carried were now hollow cheekbones on a discolored face, orned by the harsh tape that kept her tube in place.</p><p>He pushed the pain back and took a deep breath. "We'll feed her with McNuggets and that, fatty formula of hers...what's the brand already ?" Michael asked lightly drawing her away from her dark thoughts.</p><p>"Elephantus.." Sara anwsered with a small sad smile, wondering if she'd ever be able to do something as simple as give a feeder to her baby.</p><p>"Right, it'll make her have all those..cute little rolls and a set of her own love handles again.." Michael quipped and silence fell in the room.</p><p>"Michael...can we make a deal right now ?" Sara reitered looking up at him with moist eyes and Michael tightened his hold on her encouraging her to continue.</p><p>"Whatever the outcome, you and me..we'll overcome this....if I'm in pain and lost and gone, you'd take care of me and bring me back, and if you are...you'll let me take care of you too, and not drift away further and let yourself fall into darkness..." Sara let out, on a broken voice and Michael closed his eyes in pain.</p><p>"Sara..." He began to protest.</p><p>"Please Michael." she requested and he couldn't refuse her anything.</p><p>"Okay. Nothing will come between us." He reitered her words from another life.</p><p>Sara sniffed. "Thank you." She breathed.</p><p>"But...why do you always think we'd come to that, Faith is going to be fine." Michael pointed and Sara shifted back to her side, still looking at him and playing absently with his fingers.</p><p>"Michael it's an eventuality we have to face, we can't hide ourselves behind a veil of delusion, it's only going to hurt even more."</p><p>Michael took a shaky breath. </p><p>"Then don't let me go away from you Sara...because if she..if she dies.." Michael gulped a sob. "I don't know what I'd do." He admitted and Sara looked at his teary eyes with her own and nodded.</p><p>"I don't know what I'd do either...that's why we have to be there for each other." She spoke squeezing his hand.</p><p>"For Mike sake's....and for us." </p><p>..........</p><p>Faith's baby tape record played on the TV as Mike and Michael sat together to watch, Mike requested they watch a little of Faith's souvenirs tape, it would make them miss her less and help them be positive and keep hope.</p><p>Michael had agreed, because if a part of him found it naive, another found it so thoughful and considerate.</p><p>Mike laughed as Faith turned Sara's handbag upside down on the screen, playing with her keys and tearing through some unimportant paper bills.</p><p>Michael laughed inside the TV. "that's right Faith, make some neatness into mommy's bag, she's a packrat and keeps everything." </p><p>Michael had quipped and Faith gurgled, finding Sara's lip balm and trying hard to figure how to open it as she frowned and made funny faces in concentration.</p><p>"Faith Scofield!" Sara stormed in the frame startling Faith and making both Michael and Mike laugh as they watched the memory, specially Mike, who seemed to be into a laughing fit.</p><p>"What makes you think you can go through mama's bag like that, give this to me.." Sara squated inside the screen taking all of her items back from Faith and putting them back in her bag.</p><p>Faith didn't cry but made an upset face looking at Sara with anger and Michael chuckled inside the tape.</p><p>"Couldn't you have stopped her instead of watching, Michael ?" Sara asked annoyed and Michael laughed.</p><p>"You shouldn't let your stuff all over the place...and she did good, I mean what's this.." Michael picked a random receipt. "december 2018, she wasn't even born." he laughed. </p><p>"Go ahead, defend her, you always do..don't come at me if she turns out to be all spoiled." Sara threatened and Michael had laughed watching her leave. </p><p>He looked at Faith, still making that angry, upset face. </p><p>Mike laughed out loud, watching the tape. "doesn't she looks like mom ?" he giggled.</p><p>Michael smiled laughing a little too. She indeed held a great ressemblance to Sara, and to the expression of anger she had a second back, on the screen.</p><p>"Mommy just scolded you a little because you're a naughty girl, don't make that face now." Michael softly spoke to Faith on the screen.</p><p>She looked down and babbled something showing him the lip balm she had hidden in her lap and Michael laughed on the TV.</p><p>"Faith! You wicked girl!" </p><p>Mike laughed. "That's all you dad." he chuckled and Michael elbowed him playfully.</p><p>She rotated the lid on itself and managed to untape it, rotated it again to rise the balm part.</p><p>"wow, she figured that so fast!" Mike exclaimed and Michael chuckled. Faith wasn't only hyperactive and naughty, she was also incredibly intelligent.</p><p>She babled something on the screen, Michael put his face on the screen and Faith smudged the balm over his upper lip and nose intead of the lips and Michael laughed on the tape.</p><p>Mike and him laughed as well and heard another laugh.</p><p>Both turned to see Sara, ready to leave for the hospital with a small smile.</p><p>"She's a bad girl." Sara admitted fondly.</p><p>"When did you come mom ?" Mike asked pausing the tape.</p><p>"When you were saying the angry come funny faces she makes comes from me." Sara rose an eyebrow and Mike laughed.</p><p>"She does, looks like you." Michael backed him.</p><p>"She acts like you Michael." Sara pointed.</p><p>"I am not sure I was that naughty, the QI seems to be mine thought." He fake proudly shrugged and Sara made a fake gasp. "I wasn't as naughty....okay granted, mainly with my father." Sara admitted with a chuckle.</p><p>"Mom, was I like Faith when I was a baby ?" Mike asked and Sara saw Michael's face falling a little, his eyes darkening with sorrow, it still hurt that he missed more than half a decade of his first child's life.</p><p>"Not at all. You were calm, so calm, I could put you infront of the TV and you would stay watching with a crazy concentration for almost hours...you loved the news channel by the way, you watched it for long minutes everyday and books, I think you loved your books before you even learn to talk...you always stayed put while I did my things...you reminded me a lot of your father." Sara fondly said making both of them smile, the younger silly proud he was a good baby and the elder fond of his decisison, Sara had Mike, at least, a part of him, he had had nothing of her and had ached from her fragnance, her aura, her touch..</p><p>He was shaken from those thoughts by Sara's voice. "Uh..I should go." She said sighing and Michael went to hold her and kiss the top of her forehead. "Tell her we all love and miss her so much." Michael pointed, holding Sara's hand and giving her strengh.</p><p>Mike embraced his mother too. "I am sure she'll be okay soon." He said seriously and Sara kissed his hair, softly rubbing her hands theough it. "Thank you Mikey, I love you." She whispered and looked at Michael their eyes voicing their pain, fear and hopes.</p><p>"I'll call you." she simply said before leaving.</p><p>......</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. World of Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Scofield family through the events of may 2020,</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The events taking place here are inspired from real happenings, be it in the USA or my side of the Atmantic, where riots against police violence had began two weeks before Floyd's death, after a man named Sabri, died in Argenteuil, and had been burning and pending since the movement of the Yellow Vests.</p><p>The written events here are fictional and does not incite for any offense, polemic or hate. This chapter is obviously taking side, but it's the positions I believe the characters of Michael and Sara Scofield would have taken, according to their beliefs and experiences.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three weeks had passed since Faith's hospitalisation. The president had announced an ambiguous unquarentine, encouraging most people to get back to work and had opened back schools, a la carte that was, but he did, all in order to start the sacralised economy again. Sara ofcourse, didn't send Mike.</p><p>It felt like the world had moved on, was passing onto new problems. Had the latest months been anything else apart from problems in the world ? The only highlight of them to Sara, was the arrival of her little daughter, and she had came to think she would even lose that. At least, she had Michael and Mike, and she hoped it stayed that way. </p><p>Riots had been roaring in the streets of Chicago, Sara had constated that the treatement police forces did to make sure the quarentine rules were applied varied from place to place. Certain were left alone with a gentle smile and shrugged warnings while others were arrested, tased, beaten. </p><p>In that process, two men, black, one 30 and another just 18 were "accidently" killed in the process of car chasing to interpel and arrest. </p><p>The whole county and even whole Illinois had been on fire because of that, a similar situation happened earlier in her sick days, south state. </p><p>And then came George Floyd's death, which fell like lightening a whole room full of liquor. </p><p>America burned. Her own niehgborhood burned. She and Michael spent their days taking turns in the hospital and for those riots nights, they couldn't even sleep. Bombs, helicopters surrounding the area, chaos.</p><p>Mike too couldn't, not afraid, nor scared, reacting with a surprising maturity that made her feel glad, her boy had grown up.</p><p>They discussed at times, talked, but circumstances made it very hard to keep a neutral opinion and an objective analysis. Sara Scofield was angry, and indignated, and if Michael hadn't toned down some times, she would have easily thrown a couple of unholy insults directed to a certain racist community of white or not white people. </p><p>To her educated self, she knew the problem was racial and burried deep in the roots of America's history, but couldn't deny that there was a social side to it too. Surely, people of the Bronx weren't treated like the wealthier black community, from Kanye West to Candace Owen that supported the clown-come-devil they had for president. </p><p>Sara didn't despise any regular republican, in fact, Frank Tancredi had been one. Religious, Morals, Stricts, Free Market and Order had been his values, but even her not so dear father had backed from corruption and the death of an innocent man. </p><p>To Michael's dismay, Sara had soon after Floyd's death sunken into a bizzare sort of depression. She wouldn't eat, she hadn't had anything but water and coffee and a couple of almonds or beans here and there. She didn't get up from bed either, didn't went to see Faith for three full days. </p><p>Michael was lost himself, he didn't knew how to deal with his emotions, be it Faith or what was happening, the best to him was raise children that accepted difference and viewed equality and human rights as first values. So the best he did, was to inform and teach their son, about history, about the causes, and about what he always believed in. </p><p>After coming back to his family, Michael had thought the toughest challenges of his life were left behind and he was to now live a smooth life with his wife and children where no problem could be big enough to shadow his traced path. He had been wrong. Recently the real world made it feel like living itself was a challenge. </p><p>And most importantly raising children, his children were slowly becoming one of his number one priority in life, and paradoxally, it felt too easy to disapear and do things against your will to keep them safe, now, staying and raising them the right way, being there at each turn and fall seemed the hardest. </p><p>"Sara ?" she barely looked up, and Michael prefered there to be pain in her eyes if it would stop that zombie state of indifference she had put herself in. </p><p>He knew it was a defense mecanism, to block the feelings when it became overwhelming and build a wall. </p><p>But it wasn't healthy. The woman didn't even sleep on most nights and napped slighly between dawn and morning. </p><p>"Would you eat with us ?" She shrugged nodding in a no and Michael sighed. </p><p>It had been more than a week, and his patience was running short, he needed her, to be his wife, to be herself, to be their children's mother. He couldn't have her slip towards...depression like that ? Was that depression ?</p><p>He needed her to stay alive, mentally and physically. </p><p>"What kind of a doctor doesn't know she needs to eat !" Michael snapped at her, holding his waist and trying to keep his own emotions at bay, he was exhausted too, emotionally.</p><p>Sara chuckled cynically.</p><p>"The one who's been gazed when we asked not to make our hospital a money making factoy, the one who signed the murder of frigging human beings because we lacked respirators...the one who refuses to treat human beings, mostly black and latinos because they don't have insurance....don't call me a doctor Michael. It feels like an insult right now." she ended closing her eyes.</p><p>Michael understood her, god he did. He knew how she wanted to be the change, how she was invested in everything she did. </p><p>But she was killing herself. He sighed and sat beside her frail curled up on herself form on the bed. </p><p>"And would it make you a better doctor to take one more life ? Yours." He whispered stroking her temple. </p><p>"I don't know what to do Michael,  I don't know what to feel.." She whispered lost.</p><p>Michael breathed in. "Sweetheart, it doesn't help to refuse eating, or to not sleep.." He tried again, patience building back just by looking at her depressed form, he loved her so much, he couldn't see her so miserable. </p><p>"It feels like I've failed, I've failed as a doctor, as an human, as woman, as a mother..." She stopped, sighing. "And I am failing as wife too." </p><p>Michael squeezed her hand, at least she was feeling, and talking. </p><p>"You're not. Sara, I know your worth, and you know your worth, how many lives did you save for the couple of ones you did not ? how many women you've helped ? And how many days did you spend to raise our baby boy all alone ?" </p><p>"Michael please stop..there's really nothing you can do to make me feel better." </p><p>Michael nodded, he knew, he knew. </p><p>"Would you at least let me hold you ?" He requested seeing the rigid defensive posture of her body, if she would only let him embrace her...</p><p>Sara had refused his touch, a week into Faith's hospitalisation. He understood. But he felt the need to confort her, she could be lost and destroyed as long as he held her. </p><p>"No..go to Mike, be there for him." Michael sighed, swallowing and not taking it personally. </p><p>He stroked her temple, at the juncture of her adorable baby hairs and her skin and kissed her head against her will.</p><p>"Okay." He simply said. </p><p>Work had been sending him news too, they were opening the office soon. </p><p>He didn't knew if he wanted to go, actually he knew he didn't. Not while Sara was lost, not while Faith was hooked to machines, not while the world was a mess...not ever. </p><p>"She doesn't want to see me ?" Mike asked a bit hurt earlier, because he was understanding on everything, on his little beloved sister being sick, of the black lives that mattered, but couldn't understand why his mom would have such a behaviour. </p><p>Michael had quietly explained, that sometimes human emotions weren't logical, that mom was just overwhelmed and needed some time. But that she loved him always. </p><p>He had nodded, althought the sad despair that was making it's way into his son's eyes day by day tore through Michael. </p><p>What hope and future did these children have ? He knew he shouldn't think that, because god was it worst for poorer children, the one growing in black communities or the ones swapped from foster family to foster family like himself. But he had hoped his children would live in a better world, and the world right now, looked like a darker place. It was hard. </p><p>..........</p><p>Mike sat with his dinner plate on the table, playing with his fork boringly while he waited for Michael to call Sara. </p><p>He saw his dad come back, face sadened and burdened by pain and understood. </p><p>"She won't eat ?" the little boy guessed. </p><p>Michael nodded in a no and gave him a small smile. </p><p>"I'll fill you some water." Michael grabbed the water jug and put Sara and his own empty plate back on the shelf.</p><p>"And you?" Mike asked seeing his dad so dejected.</p><p>"I am not hungry anymore..you eat." Michael replied sadly and Mike looked at his plate full of rice, almost feeling like he should give his dad some privacy, for, he looked like he needed a good cry. </p><p>"Dad ? I know you love mom, but you should eat." Mike tried and Michael stopped in his tracks, putting the half filled water jug back down.</p><p>He stroked Mike's hair and smiled fondly at him, the boy was so smart and caring. "Thank you Mike, but you know it depress me to see your mom like that.. I'll just have some yoghourt and coffee, for you, okay ?" Michael promised.</p><p>Mike nodded and looked at the dining table where he was alone, his eyes lingering a little too long on Faith's empty baby chair. </p><p>"can I eat on the couch please ?" Michael thought for a second and saw the empty dining table and agreed. </p><p>While he got the jug and went to fill water outside, they had opted for natural refrigerator since a year, mom said it was important that each reduce their electricity consumption for the planet's health, Mike shifted with his plate and glass to the coffee table and put on the TV for company. </p><p>It was already on the news channel, the one mom didn't like because she said they were always propaging hate and weren't saying the truth. </p><p>Mike didn't knew, but all the journalists did when they "debated" was yell at each other and the things some said were very different from the values his parents were teaching him.</p><p>Mike didn't make the difference between 'migrants' and himself for exemple, they were all just humans to him. </p><p>Mike didn't necessarely think taxes were bad for exemple, Jacob...or at least the role he had played as economy professor had taught him that taxes financed things like schools and healthcare, hospital and pensions. Surely that had to be a good thing. And Sara had taught him each had it's responsability towards the poorer of the society. </p><p>Mike knew they weren't poor and were even a well off family, but specially since dad's come back and their shifting to Chicago, his parents always taught him to live in modesty and accentuated values more than means. </p><p>Mike took the public bus to school, went to his neighborhood's public school that was filled with diversity, and he loved that. It felt like he was wealthier interacting with classmates and having friends from different social class and cultures, rather than just coming from a school with a big name. </p><p>Mom had taught him how to separate their rubbish, to never waste and be generous. And she taught him ecology, always take transports instead of cars when you can, no plastic, that the ecosystem was impirtant, she explained about climate changes and biodiversities.</p><p>Mike remembered the first time he went out alone with dad, they wandered by his office as even thought it was his day off he had to hand over a file to a coleague. It was their early days in Chicago and Mike was still impressed and overwhelmed with all the tall buildings and glass towers. It had been pretty hot and Michael had bought him a bottle of fresh water,  and Mike had, without hesitation handed it to a homeless man they met 500 meters later, he remember dad's look that day, he had hugged him and smiled in that unique way that showed his love, fondness and pride for his son. </p><p>Mike had felt special back then, as dad said he had a "pure and beautiful heart".</p><p>Mike frowned at the images on the screen, violent riots going on across the country and an old angry white man shouting on the set that it was 'scandalous' to even think of 'defunding the police'.</p><p>Dad came back with the fresh water and put it on the coffee table next to him. </p><p>"Dad ? What does defund the police mean ? that we should not have any police ?" </p><p>Michael glanced up at the TV, paying attention to it for the first time and grabbing the remote from Mike, putting it off. </p><p>He took a deep breath.</p><p>"No Mike, it just mean that we should give less economical means to the police. You know how no one is born hateful or violent, well no one is born racist either...if there is crime and violence, it's because certain communities are not like ours, we have a pretty normal neighborhood right ? well they're places where parents are all working poor jobs, bartender, employee, cleaner, janitors..and children barely make it till high school, there is more misery and precarity and that always leads to violence..your uncle Lincoln always did shady things just to give me a proper education...you understand that ?" Mike nodded silenty, understanding how his mom's childhood might have been like his, pretty well off and normal where as his dad's looked much more tainted and hard. </p><p>"well, defunding the police means less repression in those places, and more attacking the problem on the root, giving all those kids the same opportunities and chances at education, give them a decent healthcare and a basic infrastructure. Mom told you she worked in a prison right ?" Mike nodded again, it had been surprising at first, but once mom explained her motivations for that job Mike had been admirative.</p><p>"Well, she and her boss were always in favor of rehabilitation, they weren't much keen on repression and punition. Well, that's what defund the police means, that more focus should be put in education, in chances at a good job and a decent life for everyone, rather than a strong and heavily armed police repression, because arrests or more violence won't end the problem." </p><p>Mike nodded and seeming to think for a while. "So it just mean giving the police less power and the schools and associations more ?" Michael stroked his back.</p><p>"Yes. There's that and then there is a need to put more into formation and anti-racism education inside the police forces because let's face it, a good portion of them are corporatingly filled with nationalist values.." Michael explained and Mike frowned understanding a little bit less.</p><p>"Mom said that saying the word race is bad...because there's no race right ?" Michael smiled and kissed Mike's forehead.</p><p>"Right, we're all humans and all deserve the same chances, white or not, wealthy or not." Michael pointed, because if he thought back to the roots, the reason their lives had taken that turn and that he had spent seven years in hell, the reason they got involved with the Company and that Lincoln got framed in the first place was because they were poor, from a popular community and that Lincoln had ruined his whole teenage and even life at a point to give Michael what should be every children's right : education. </p><p>............</p><p>Michael came by from the hospital around 5 pm, exhausted, mostly emotionally, he let his bag drop and went to wash his hands. </p><p>He was surprised to meet with Sara, dressed after days.</p><p>"Hey, you look better.." He noted.</p><p>She looked at him, determination and a fire shining in her eyes. </p><p>"You bet I do, enough with the mourning and depression." She said and Michael nodded, going to change. </p><p>He found Sara downstairs, as she grabbed a bag and put a handful of masks in as well as two full bottles of water and a brick of milk, before going to grab her shoes. </p><p>"Are you going somewhere ? Visitations end at 6pm Sara, you know that." He frowned.</p><p>"I am going to the protest." She anwsered bluntly without looking at him in the eyes. </p><p>Sara tied her shoelaces and went to Mike who was drawing by the dining tabe. She kissed his head and smiled at him. "I'll be late tonight, be nice to dad huh?" She instructed and Mike nodded, frowning in uncomprehension. </p><p>Michael stared at her and grabbed her wrist, if she stopped frantically moving everywhere maybe he could focus. </p><p>"Wha-? which protest ? the black lives matter protest, the one at 7 pm ?" Michael asked completely taken aback, she had been closing off in bed and barely even used social media and never watched TV. </p><p>"Katie called me, the doctors, from the hospital Union are all going. I should go too." Sara simply said, she was much more fierce and determined, it was so contrasting with her previous hopeless attitude.</p><p>"Okay...but it's going to be dangerous, these protests Sara ? they all end in violence, things are pretty heated, I don't think you should go." Michael said concerned. </p><p>Sara chuckled "You sound like my father.." she tenderly rubbed his cheek and he was surprised she was even accepting touch and being tactile again. "I'll be back in one piece, I promise." she pecked his lips and smiled before leaving. </p><p>Michael stared at the door and sighed, getting out his phone and checking the situation at the protest location.</p><p>................</p><p>He had followed the protest all eve, it was monstruous, thousands were gathered and he had to admit he felt proud of Sara, these thousands were all like her, true fighters inside who never stepped off to defend what felt right. </p><p>No wonder she was the same Sara who's senior quote was be the change and who left the door open for them, for what she felt was right, for justice, always.</p><p>Michael was quieter by nature, had never been to much protests except some gathering after terrorist attacks, but Sara ? he could bet she had been a hardcore militant in her high school and college years. </p><p>His good feelings were soon overshadowed by worries as after a couple of hours, the scene turned to chaos. Things burned, cars and buildings, tear gaz filled the avenue and fear settled in. </p><p>He and Mike had dinner, his apetite suddenly back, his motivation too, and they had talked all evening, Michael telling Mike how fierce and rebellious Sara had always been. </p><p>His phone rang around 10 pm. </p><p>"Michael ?" He heard her voice and a far backround of chaos. </p><p>"Sara ? Are you okay, where are you ?" He asked concerned.</p><p>"I am huh...in a park, a few streets away from the protest location I think.." Sara said turning back to look at the chaos of burning buildings and tear gaz filling the air. </p><p>"Are you safe ?" </p><p>"Yeah..I'm fine, but we were gazed and I had to closed my eyes, I couldn't see anything..and then I lost the others. I can't get through to Katie I hope she's okay, there was no network at all back there." Sara rambled. </p><p>"She must be fine." Michael assured. </p><p>"Yeah I hope so...listen uh..I'll try to take the metro till Evanston, you know the Davis Street station UP-5 ? Could you pick me up ? I would have found a way but they kind of blocked everything." Sara requested.</p><p>"It's okay, I am coming, I'll be right there in half an hour." Michael awnsered grabbing a coat and his car keys. </p><p>"Thanks." She said before he hang up. </p><p>Michael told Mike he could stay awake if he wished and promised to be back soon. </p><p>He drove to Evanston, with great difficulty, all roads were indeed blocked, the interstate was inaccessible and he had to take smaller roads and make a dozen of U turns. </p><p>Finally reaching the station, Michael picked Sara standing right outside and made a light call to get her attention. </p><p>She spotted him and got in the car, exhaling as her aching body rested against the seat. </p><p>"You okay ?" Michael scanned her, her black pants were stained with dirt. </p><p>"I am okay." Sara promised. </p><p>"Things turned violent ? They said there had been some rioting by the protestors ?" Michael asked. </p><p>"What ? No ! The protest was so calm and peaceful, we were asking for justice for Floyd and all the police violence victims, it's the police that charged with tear gaz first, there were panick movements and some young and inexperienced teens, they panicked. Then they tried to flee the place but the police nassed us and that's when things were put to fire and got violent..." Sara told him indigned, she couldn't believe the medias were telling the complete opposite of what she just lived and witnessed. </p><p>"Here," Michael handed her a spare bottle of water he'd taken along. "you were gazed ?" </p><p>"Thanks, I still have some." Sara got out her own half filled bottle and took a couple of gulps. "Yeah, wouldn't be the first time, I am okay Michael." She assured. </p><p>"Better take a cold shower when you get home, and rinse off your eyes." He still said eyeing her, concerned, she had been unable to breath normally when she was sick and it made his stomach churn to imagine her still weak lungs bear tear gaz. </p><p>"Will do, I need to get things ready anyway, I've decided to go back to work tomorrow." Michael stared at her in shock. </p><p>She had complitely refused to even talk about work lately. </p><p>"Wait wait wait...it's too soon, you should.." Michael was cut. </p><p>"The doctor gave me the green light a couple of weeks ago." Sara pointed and she added a smile putting a hand on his. "I need to go Michael, I need to be a doctor, to save lives...for Faith. Even if she dies I want to be able to tell her that mama didn't let the pain she's feeling be felt by another mother. I need to fight for her." Michael's eyes watered and a tear felt on his cheeks. </p><p>She reached to wipe it and he kissed her forehead. He was so glad to have Sara Scofield back. </p><p>"I love you.." He whispered.</p><p>"I love you too. And we'll always be here for each other, I am so sorry for my behaviour, I was selfish and let you all lost and alone." Michael smiled cradling her cheek. </p><p>"Don't be sorry, and you know what ? I know inside that nothing will happen to Faith, she is at least half as strong and fierce as her mom." Michael pointed squeezing her hand and Sara looked down almost self concsiously.</p><p>"Stop flirting and start the car, Scofield." She quipped. </p><p>"Would you eat now ?" He asked hopefully, passing the first on the gear and driving off. </p><p>"Yeah, would you stop at Presto's in the way, I feel like eating a whole pizza!" Sara exclaimed and Michael laughed a little, relieved he had his wife back. </p><p>Maybe, for both the parents, having faith back was the first step to...having Faith back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fire here, stand for the state the world was into after George Floyd's death, as a dramatical constrast to the quarentine of its preceeding weeks, but also the determination and will that has always been in the character of Sara Tancredi, her position and strong will to be the change.</p><p>leave a little review :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Like a Phœnix</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sara Scofield didn't only speak, she acted, and so, the morning that followed, even if she had barely slept 3 hours, ached everywhere and that the faint smell of tear gaz still pricked her nose, she rose at dawn, started the coffee and slipped her freshly washed scrubs into her bag. </p><p>Michael was up twenty minutes after she left his side, he rubbed his eyes, lacking sleep too and analysed Sara's beaming renewed energy and determination.</p><p>"So you're really going to work ?" Michael asked incredulous.</p><p>Sara glanced at him between grabbing her car keys and sipping her hot coffee. </p><p>She stopped next to him and embraced him. "Yeah, you fell for me as a doctor, it was my mother's dream, it was my salvation after you left...and I need this.." she mumbled against him and Michael pressed her to him, kissing the top of her head. </p><p>"You're amazing, I wish I was half as good as you, professionally." He said as they backed and their eyes locked. </p><p>Sara snorted. "You're way better than me, so bright and intelligent, you manage concepts that literally made my head ache." Sara smiled softly.</p><p>"But you put your feelings into your work, you're dedicated." Michael let out admiringly and Sara nodded self consciously.</p><p>"You know it's the reason you question and doubt yourself at times ? because you're intense, you're into it, you're willed and you're true to your vocation." Sara shook her head. </p><p>"I don't know what is it that you want Scofield but even the board doesn't compliment me like that." She quipped. </p><p>Both looked at each other and the amusement was left aside to reveal their truthful feelings. </p><p>"I'll get there as soon as visitations start okay ? maybe feeling you around, Faith would be okay ?" </p><p>"Let's hope so, see you later." Sara whispered, knowing, before diving in the sea that this covid-19 wasn't the warm and smooth mediteranean but more the harsh torrent and bone icing Atlantic, she'd get no rest, and Michael was dreaming thinking he could see her during her shift.</p><p>But she was ready, she would fight, she would do her best to save lives, it was her identity, she hadn't stopped following that dream after her mother's death, hadn't stopped after her first morphine collapse, hadn't stopped after Fox River, hadn't after Michael's "death" and wouldn't stop now, never. No matter what happened. </p><p>Sara unlocked her car and determinedly opened the driver door and as she bent to put her bag down, her eyes lingered a little too long on the passenger seat, where Faith's baby seat was buckled. </p><p>Her fingers instinctively touched the soft material of the baby seat.</p><p>-</p><p>"No, I don't care if one of us has to ride in the back occasionally, but most times, it's either you or me alone with both the kids or only Faith, and there's no way those only Faith rides will be done with her crying in a backseat, her baby seat is going right here, so we can always have her under our eyes and she does never feel alone." </p><p>She recalled Michael's adament statement a few weeks after Faith's birth. </p><p>Sara recalled all the times she drove Faith to the daycare and back, and her shattered heart broke as her sore eyes filled with tears. She gently took Ephy, a little bear Michael had insisted on always keeping in the car to distrect her in case she fussed. </p><p>Sara held the soft fabric furr in her hands and inhaled Faith's beloved baby scent, the tears dropped down her cheeks as she pressed Ephy against her heart. </p><p>Wiping her tears and composing herself, she put the toy back in the baby seat and started the car, adjusted the rear mirror and buckled her belt. </p><p>She could do this, for Faith.</p><p>............</p><p>Michael had spent most of the day with Mike, absent mindly doing some telework for a while too, it was only a little after 3 pm that he left for the hospital, taking the metro and using that time to ressource himself and check on the overwhelming world hapenings. </p><p>He was mostly avoiding putting on the news in front of Mike now, it was toxic, so he'd just take 5 minutes whenever he could to update himself of the pandemic's evolution on his phone.</p><p>He arrived nearly at 4 pm and was planning to spend a good couple of hours with Faith, as he wore his equipements, changing his outside masks and gloves.</p><p>Faith was her usual motionless figure, he spoke to her, reassuring her and mainly telling her how extraordinary her mom was, a true hero in his eyes. </p><p>Her Dr. had came in, and she, with great caution announced to Michael that there seemed to be hope in Faith's case, her lungs were already begining to heal and if she kept evolving in that direction, they could soon, take her off the machines, with the hope that she makes it.</p><p>Michael's heart had warmed with hope and he nervously smiled, thanking the doctor and closing his eyes in half relief, maybe soon, this nightmare, this ordeal would be over. <br/>..............</p><p>Sara quickly washed her hands up to her elbows, as her long day of work finally ended. She had forgotten how exhausting it could be, but at the same time was glad to be back to work, she had a purpose leading her, she had goals and milestones to reach. The day went pretty good, she didn't lose a single life. It was a good day in this traumatic period. </p><p>Sara had discussed with Elsa, one of the most competant doctor of her unit in her opinion, and Elsa seemed to be positive, saying that the cases seemed to reach a peak and would probably only go down from now on. </p><p>Sara had noticed herself that the conditions were different, they were still overriden by the pandemic but today seemed so different than the chaos and total massacre she had experienced in the early days of the pandemic. </p><p>Things were still bad but they seemed..in control. Beds weren't lacking anymore nor was equipements not because they were delivered by the leaders but because the medical units had adapted, they seemed more experienced, as if days and weeks of chaos had taught them how to deal with whatever was aboard. Sara wasn't mistaken, she still saw the exhaustion and dark circles in every of the hospital worker, but perseverance was what was keeping them going, that and maybe...faith.</p><p>"Dr.Scofield ?" She was broken out of her reverie and dries her hands while clean paper.</p><p>"Yeah ?" Sara replied her coleague, Dr.Bailey, a small height african american and strong willed member of their unit. </p><p>"I think there's one more patient you would like to see before leaving." Dr.Bailey suggested with a resolute smile and Sara's heart dropped to the pit of her stomach.</p><p>Could it be that..Faith ?</p><p>"Mrs.Miller." Bailey nodded and Sara took a sharp intake of breath, she nodded, and put a new pair of gloves on before leaving for a new mission. </p><p>...........</p><p>As the clock reached 6 pm quicker than ever, Michael had decided to move towards the cafeteria and get some coffee, for, the lack of sleep was getting to him.</p><p>It was to his great surprise that when turning a corridor he saw Sara, addossed against a wall, seemingly trying to cope against a heavy emotional wave he had difficulty to identify, was she sad or happy ?</p><p>"Sara?" Michael called out softly and she looked at him startled and chuckling with tears in her eyes.</p><p>"Hey.." She greeted.</p><p>"Hi, are you..okay ?" He asked and Sara took a deep breath and nodded.</p><p>"Uh yeah, yeah. I just..there's a patient that came with this thing weeks earlier, she was eight months pregnant. There were a lot of contradictions at that time, still are...but she was my patient. And it was my call, so I opted for respirator, no chloroquine and a C-section. Others argued that it would be too dangerous for the baby or that the mother's arterial pression could drop and lead her to death, I kept my stand. And today...she woke up and I just saw her hold her baby for the first time and her husband thanked me while literally weeping and I.....I just, this is why I do this job. I..god, I saved her." Michael listened to her emotional tirade and smiled fondly, he loved her. </p><p>He would have hugged, kissed, embraced her right there but precautions kept them from even touching. </p><p>"I am glad, you're a great doctor Sara, I believe in you, I get it that you had a good day ?" he asked. </p><p>"Exhausting, but worth it."  Sara sighed.</p><p>"Are you done ? I was going to grab us some coffee and we can leave together." Michael offered.</p><p>"Sure, actually you go get your coffee, I am going to check on Faith first, and then take a power shower and we can leave."</p><p>"Yeah, okay...they said there was some change in Faith's condition." Michael hopefully informed.</p><p>Sara inahled sharply and nodded. "I know, I saw her reports myself this morning...let's keep our fingers crossed." Sara admitted in a small voice. </p><p>"I'll be quick, just saying a little hi." Sara promised on a hurried tone.</p><p>Michael smiled fondly, there was no universe in which he'd rip Sara from spending time with their baby daughter. "Take your time." He affectionally whispered watching her turn on her heels and leave. </p><p>...............</p><p>They met on the parking lot, Sara's freshly washed hair now lose and wet, she looked beautiful, was all Michael could think. </p><p>"Here," Michael handed her a fond of his coffee cup and Sara smiled gratefuly.</p><p>"Why, thank you." She gulped the coffee down in less than a minute and threw the cup in a nearby bin rummaging in her bag and throwing him the car keys. </p><p>Michael caught them with a chuckle.</p><p>"You're driving, my feet are killing me I am sprawling in the backseats like they're some hotel bed." She quipped.</p><p>"You're sitting straight with a belt, Dr.Tancredi." Michael reprimanded on a tease.</p><p>"It's Scofield!" She threw back showing her badge that was clipsed to her bag. </p><p>Sara sat in the back with a groan. "How's Mike, poor baby, must feel so alone." Sara yawned. </p><p>"No, don't worry, I spent plenty of time with him and made him dinner, he just has to heat it. We'll be home by then anyway." Michael promised.</p><p>"Hm..I don't know what he must be thinking with all this." Sara chewed on her bottom lip.</p><p>"He's smarter and wiser than we think, I am so proud of him Sara, he'll be okay." Sara sighed nodding briefly as he passed the first and left the parking lot.</p><p>"Hey, try to not fall asleep.." Michael quipped and Sara raised her brows throwing him a fake annoying look through the rear mirror.</p><p>...........</p><p>When Michael and Sara went home, they made the efforts of sitting together and having dinner with Mike. They had, behind their baby's worry, neglected their older child and decided to be more present for Mike.</p><p>Mike however, seemed thoughful and played with his fork and food.</p><p>"Mike ? baby, is your plate cold ?" Sara gently asked.</p><p>"Need more sauce little man ?" Michael spoke after a bite.</p><p>Mike shook his head slowly.</p><p>"Water ?" Sara tried.</p><p>Mike denied again.</p><p>"Mike..is something wrong ?" Michael asked with concern.</p><p>Mike timidly looked up to meet his parents eyes. </p><p>"You both don't have to treat me like a baby..you can tell me.." he said in a tiny voice.</p><p>Sara frowned and dropped her own fork. </p><p>"Tell you what ?" she asked.</p><p>Mike looked at Michael with teary eyes.</p><p>"That Faith's going to die..." </p><p>Michael stopped chewing on his food and he and Sara shared an anguished look.</p><p>"Mike.." Michael said shifting from his chair to his son's side, he knelt beside him and held his hand. "Who told you that ?" he asked horrified.</p><p>"I just know dad, I am not dumb. I see your faces and I know about this thing, I know Faith was very sick when she was born.." Mike spoke miserably.</p><p>Sara had joined them, standing beside Mike, a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"This doesn't mean that she will die Mike, doctors don't know, I don't know, no ones knows...she can fight and survive, there's hope." </p><p>"Don't lie to me mom, I see you sad all the time. I know what's going on, you don't need to lie to protect me.." Mike was almost tearing up and something broke in Sara's chest.</p><p>"Mike...we're not. We're not lying, your mom is sad because she's worried, but that doesn't mean anyone is dying.." Michael reassured raking through Mike's hair.</p><p>"Will you both hate me if she dies ?" A tear fell down Mike's cheek.</p><p>"No. No..why would you think that ?" Sara asked indigned turning Mike's head to look at her.</p><p>"I am so sorry mom...I know dad was so careful and I ruined it all. I should have looked after her better, I shouldn't have let her come to your room and hurt herself. She got sick because of me, it's all because of me.." Mike wept and Sara shuddered trying to keep her own tears in.</p><p>"Oh Mike..this isn't your fault. This is no one's fault sweet boy.." Sara consoled him wiping his tears, she realised, right in that moment that it wasn't her fault either. She realised seeing it on Mike how the twisted sense of guilt played with her too, and right in that moment, a weight shifted from her heart. </p><p>"It's no one's fault, I love you, and dad loves you, and Faith's not dying Mike." Sara assured.</p><p>Michael closed his eyes and sighed, before pulling Mike against him.</p><p>"Come here..." he gently asked and Mike held him back tightly, crying against his dad.</p><p>"I know you love your sister, you've always been so responsible with her Mike, don't you dare think it's your fault. We're here for you, we're your parents and we'll always love you, even when we're broken...didn't mom love you after she lost me ?" Michael asked and Mike composed himself, wiping his cheeks and gulping a sob.</p><p>"She did." He agreed and Michael shared a look with Sara's tearful eyes.</p><p>"Did she ever let you feel she blamed you for my death ? Did she ever resent you by making you feel I died to protect you ?" Michael asked again.</p><p>"No.." Mike agreed </p><p>"So ? No one will blame you or stop loving you if Faith dies okay ? But that's an if, she is strong and daddy secretly knows inside that she will make it. She still had to steal more food from your plates, undo your legos, steal your toys, tear your books, jump and undo your bed, be your annoying pain in the ass sister.." Michael quipped making Mike laugh slightly.</p><p>Sara smiled too, tearfully, rubbing Mike's back.</p><p>"I promise I'll never complain, I just want her to be okay.." Mike sniffed.</p><p>"We all do Mike, and if she doesn't, we'll still love you as before...if not even more considering you would be our only child left.." Sara pressed her lips together and Michael blinked and looked at her, then at Mike. She understood and swallowed her tears, cupping Mike's cheek. </p><p>"I am not sad sweet boy, I've gotten back to work and there's slight progress on Faith's state. We can't precipitate things, but if her lungs heal well, we should take her off the respirator in some days, and hope she'll make it."  Sara explained, initially not wanting to give Mike fake hope but now wanting total transparence with him. </p><p>"Just some more days ?" Mike asked a little hopeful and Michael's heart constricted in his chest. It sounded way too familiar with 'one more day, Sara'. And he felt awful to ask that of his son, Mike sounded like he just wanted resolution at this point, any kind of it. </p><p>"Jus a few days Mike, I promise." He kissed the boy's head.</p><p>"Why don't we watch your birthday videos after dinner Mikey ? That way you can see Faith." Sara proposed, her son's own cheering up idea coming back to her mind.</p><p>Mike chuckled. "She's a clown in it she has cake all over her face." </p><p>Michael and Sara both smiled, glad they had reassured their son, even a little bit.</p><p>.........................</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>there is at most, two chapters left on this story, I want to thank everyone who read it, and hope it could give you a way to put words onto your emotions and escape, through the chaotic year that 2020 has been. </p><p>please leave a few words :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Retrouvailles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Little Faith Scofield is saved.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had all happened so fast.</p><p>After Michael and Sara stayed up late the previous night, reassuring Mike, and then, discussing the trauma all this covid crisis had on him, discussing maybe Mike needed counselling ? </p><p>His mom, and sister both were infected, and if the fear of losing them made Michael's mind lose it, he couldn't imagine the effects it had on a small boy like Mike.</p><p>Sara had left for her shift early in the morning, and Micheal delayed his visit at the hospital, chosing to spend more time with his son, be it homework or just sit together and talk.</p><p>Mike was a little like him, so quiet. He rarely expressed his feelings.<br/>Unlike Sara, who's emotions were written on her face.</p><p>It was a little tougher to get to him, it would never be direct, but subtle reassuring through their conversations.</p><p>Michael had arrived at the hospital a little past 1 pm. And nothing was normal. Scratch that. Nothing was usual.</p><p>A group of people filled Faith's room, by their attire, Michael's LLI identified three doctors and two nurses.</p><p>But it wasn't chaos. It was far from the chaos Michael did remember when they intubed her.</p><p>That's when Michael realised that the tube was gone.</p><p>"Keep the monitor on multi-vials mode, yeah...zoom at 1,5 milisecond..." Dr.Buttigieg, Faith's pediatre, was leading the team.</p><p>"See, they are still irregular.."</p><p>"I don't think it's significative enough to reintube her."</p><p>"Are you sure ? See, her lungs have been affected, over a 2/6 diameter." The second doctor, pointed to a screen, where Michael guessed, where the 3D scans of Faith's lungs.</p><p>"Her pulmonary artery is doing good, and her BP's perfectly stable now, I think she should regulate and recover pretty well."</p><p>"Should we leave it to that then ?"</p><p>"No, we'll still go with minimum assistance, and I want an emergency kit ready." Dr.Buttigieg decided before turning on her wheels and seeing Michael, in the doorway.</p><p>"Mr.Scofield. Hi." She greeted.</p><p>Michael sucked in a breath. </p><p>"Hi, um..what's happening ?" He asked, fear still lacing his voice.</p><p>"We have good news. If all is well, Faith should be out of danger by this afternoon." The doctor announced with a small smile and Michael's heart lept in his chest, he gulped, trying to keep his emotions at bay.</p><p>"We have gotten her out of intubation, and so far, she has been reacting well. She is sedated right now. And as soon as she wakes up, we can monitor how she breathes, to see if she needs any breathing assistance, or if she can, on her own." Michael listened carefully.</p><p>"Okay...but does that mean she's going to make it ?" Michael asked, clinging to the hope and faith his heart always chose to follow.</p><p>"We can not be certain with this virus Mr.Scofield, but from my experience, I can say that your daughter's fighting this, and she has stabilised quite a number of her constants. Her life is not on the line anymore." Michael gasped in relief closing his eyes briefly.</p><p>"Thank you so much." He uttered, losing all sense of formality.</p><p>"Please don't thank me, we're just doing our jobs. I'll leave two nurses to monitor her, and they will be calling me as soon as she wakes up, to see how she reacts, if her BP plumets again of if she can breath, and then, we can go forwards from there, hopefully on the path of recovery." Michael nodded, hope.</p><p>Michael sat right next to Faith for the next few minutes. His heart breaking in his chest and steady tears falling.</p><p>The tube left an ugly bruise on her cheek, and she was now wearing a baby sized breathing mask.</p><p>His gloved hands clapsed her tiny fingers, for the first time, she squeezed back, and he kissed them, his heart tearing with the realisation of what he could have lost.</p><p>20 minutes had gone by, when Faith's limbs started moving, it was a twitch there, a slight move here, and at a point she curled on her side in slumber, adorably looking like she was just sleeping.</p><p>Michael couldn't stop the tears. The sound of her soft breathing, her position, her movements...for the first time in a while, Faith looked alive.</p><p>She didn't look like the death pile of flesh she had been while she was intubated.</p><p>God. He loved her so much, so so much. What would he have done without his precious baby daughter ?</p><p>It's one more movement that took him out of his thoughs.</p><p>Faith stirred, sighing in her sleep and her eyes moved behind her closed eyelids. She was waking up.</p><p>Without him noticing, Dr.Buttigieg was already back in the room.</p><p>She monitored Faith, said some things about measuring her BP second by second..</p><p>Michael couldn't hear, his whole focus was on his adorable little baby.</p><p>And right then, her eyes opened, she blinked against the harsh light,  her eyes first focusless, groggy, she instinctively brought a fist to her face but it was met with the breathing mask.</p><p>Her face contorted in disconfort and as she became more aware, her eyes filled with panic at her whereabouts.</p><p>Dr.Buttigieg had instructed to remove the mask, Faith made sounds of disconfort, closing her eyes back and then openeing them with a frown.</p><p>"Hello baby, welcome back to us." Dr.Buttigieg smiled at the infant, </p><p>Faith didn't seem to like the new intruder and her eyes squinted, pained.</p><p>Her lips, her dry little lips bubbled and she began wailing. Only to hiccup as her voice came in a hoarse labored sound. </p><p>It's then that baby Faith realised two things, one that her throat hurt so badly, and the second that she wasn't home.</p><p>Michael was instantly reminded of the horrible painful cries he had heard before she was intubed and his heart shattered.</p><p>"Faith...sweetheart, don't cry.." He softly cooed and it's only then that Faith's cries halted, her breath itching with palping fear as her eyes darted to her side and noticed, then recognised him, and she cried a new, more desperately, her fists tightly clasped in fear.</p><p>Michael looked at the doctor. "Go ahead, hold her Mr.Scofield. Try to calm her down." Dr.Buttigieg said, monitoring Faith's BP.</p><p>Michael hesitated, took a breath and carried Faith up, holding her against him, and he didn't knew if it was supposed to be him that calmed Faith, for, he began weeping too.</p><p>God. When he held her waist, a third of her onesie was empty, air. Her body had shrunk to unhealthy thin, and her once chubby hands looked like the fragile, tiny fingers of hers when she was born, premature.</p><p>And the feeling of having her, warm against his heart, Michael could only cry. His baby...</p><p>She was just 6 months afterall, and without the energy and weitght she had put on before, she looked even lote smaller and vulnerable.</p><p>She rested against him and held onto his shirt tightly, fear emaning from her every pore.</p><p>Composing himself, Michael held her and softly stroked her back, her head, her adorable caramel colored hair.</p><p>"I've got you, I've got you baby girl...shhh.., you're okay, you're okay, god you're okay." </p><p>Michael closed his eyes as he kissed the top of her head, showering her with all his affection and resting his temple against her head.</p><p>"I love you, Dada loves you so much." He whispered in her ear.</p><p>"Well, there's no need of breathing supply and her BP is remaining stable, we'll give her a couple of hours, and then try to feed her some real food, okay Mr.Scofield ?" Dr.Buttigieg conforted.</p><p>Michael could only nod. </p><p>"She will calm down, don't worry, she's just a little scared, and the intubation, that must hurts, we'll see if we can put her on antibiotics, it would be best if she doesn't cry too much, forcing on her voice will only make it worse. <br/>So, here. It will distract her and train her muscles a little, for the feeder." Dr.Buttigieg cleaned a pacifier with a disinfectant wipe and handed it to Michael.</p><p>"We'll go for the recovery process tomorrow, give your baby some time, it's not going to be easy, but we can say the hardest is behind, okay ?"</p><p>"Okay." Michael anwsered, immensely thankful.</p><p>The doctor left and the nurse explained him a few things about Faith's care, she had stopped the loud crying but was still weeping softly.</p><p>"Maybe call her mother meanwhile ?" the nurse adviced before leaving.</p><p>Michael looked up, over Faith's weeping form, Sara. Oh. Sara.</p><p>...</p><p>Michael kept Faith right against him, for, she wouldn't leave his arms. He had tried twice, when a nurse came for some checkings.</p><p>But Faith clung to him like her life depended on it, so he sat on the visitor chair, holding her against him, she wasn't crying anymore,<br/>and he rubbed her back to sooth her back to slumber, rest would do her good.</p><p>Faith wouldn't sleep thought, her eyes were open, and she sucked steadily on the pacifier while her head rested on Michael's chest, her cheek pressed against his heart, one of her hand clasping his arm while the other held his shirt in her fist. She wouldn't let go.</p><p>The steady sucks she made on the pacifier soothed Michael's heart. </p><p>He had maybe held her like that, against him, a few dozen of minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. </p><p>Like he got her back from the dead. </p><p>He had tried to call Sara, but she didn't anwser, probably in the middle of a medical intervention. </p><p>So he had left her a voicemail, something he never did since he was back from Yemen, not in over a couple of years.</p><p>"Sara, it's Faith. She has woken up." He had left, barely holding back the emotion in his voice.</p><p>It had been a little less than an hour, when from the open door of the hospital room, Michael saw Sara, walking, no, running down the corridor, their way. </p><p>It's only once she reached the door, that she halted, taking in what she saw before her eyes, Michael holding a very much alive Faith in his arms. </p><p>A huge breath of relief left Sara's lungs, and her eyes watered too, unlike him however, she didn't cry. </p><p>Her until now, mirror reaction to his, took a completely different turn, Sara smiled, her face breaking into a grin, and Michael felt a pang in his heart. </p><p>Oh..he hadn't seen her genuinely smile like that since too long, way too long. </p><p>Elated, Sara took tiny steps towards him.</p><p>"Is she sleeping ?" she whispered in a low voice, as Faith faced the other way. </p><p>Michael was about to awnser, but Faith was quicker, turning her head towards her mother's familiar voice.</p><p>Their eyes met and Sara muffled a gasp by taking her fingers to her lips. </p><p>She smiled again, in pure hapiness. </p><p>"Hey you." she greeted softly bending her waist to her knees. </p><p>Michael rose from his seat so Faith could be level with her, sparing her the kneeling, and Faith, immediately lept towards Sara.</p><p>Sara caught her in her arms, laughing from hapiness and relief as she pressed her face to Faith's head and inhaled her baby scent. </p><p>She kissed her forehead. "Oh, I missed you too baby." Sara cooed.</p><p>Faith dropped the pacifier as her lips bubbled again, the sheer familiarity of her mother's loving embrace reassuring her even more, and she began weeping again, hiding her face in Sara's chest. </p><p>Sara's arms encircled her form and she swayed her slightly. </p><p>"Aw, don't cry, don't cry sweetheart..." Sara began to reassure, patting Faith's head. </p><p>But when Faith kept weeping, her hands tightly forming fists and grabbing at her mother's neck. </p><p>Sara gently, against her protests, untangled the babe from herself to face her. </p><p>"Look at me, look at me, you're a brave girl, and you're so beautiful, don't you dare cry, I love you." </p><p>And when Sara spoke to the girl, Faith seemed to understand everything, so she stopped crying, but hid herself in her mother's arms again.</p><p>"mamama.." she moaned complainingly and Sara's heart tore, she let her cling to her, and held her against herself, hugging her back.</p><p>"Mama's right here, and I am not going anywhere, I am so sorry sweet Faith." </p><p>Sara briefly closed her eyes but instanly smiled again, laughing at the sensation of holding her babe, she thought she would never get that opportunity again. </p><p>She glanced sideways at Michael, and her smile fell seeing him weeping in his hands, he couldn't just believe he was seeing Sara and their precious girl together again, he had been so scared, for both of them, first scared that the babe would lose her mother, and then afraid their girl would be snatched away from her mother. </p><p>"Michael, Michael, it's alright, she's okay." Sara assured, keeping the girl against her by one arm while she grasped Michael's hand with her other one and squeezed it. </p><p>He looked up at her, his eyes full of pain and she shook her head smiling reassuringly to him and shifting closer to the chair, bringing him against her waist, he embraced her, his face pressed in her side while he cried. </p><p>Sara held the babe in one arm while stroking his cropped hair with her other hand.</p><p>Faith, who had calmed down in her mother's embrace, looked at him, in utter uncomprehension, her lips formed a little 'o' at seeing her dad cry, and she mimicked her mother, bending and patting Michael's head with small clumsy taps of her tiny palms. </p><p>Michael looked up at that feeling and sobbed again, taking hold of her tiny hand, he pressed it against his lips as he rose and took the both of them in his arms. "I love you, both of you." </p><p>He inhaled, trying to stem the flow of pent up pain and anguish that had filled inside him, being the one that had to be stronger, for both his children and then, for the heartbroken Sara. </p><p>"We love you too, so much..." Sara let out emotionally then nudged the babe "right Faith ? say I love you dada." Sara requested and Faith blabbed something, Michael laughed a little, kissing the top of her head and finally letting go of weeks of stress and pain.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Some Hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I'm almost finished writing this story, I hope it filled some parts of misa with Mike and their family moments, the good and the bad, and ofcourse, was useful to live through this whole covid-19 crisis, although, more might be to explore on the subject. </p><p>2 more chapters left, enjoy and review !  :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Faith had fallen asleep in Sara's arms, and Sara held her all the while, rocking her softly and now just stroking the back of her head with affection.</p><p>Michael had gone to meet the doctor one more time, as nurses came and went, after moniroting Faith. Dr.Buttigieg had fixed reeducation and kinesitherapy session as soon as the next day.</p><p>"They said someone can stay the night." Michael informed as he came back into the room, making the less noise as possible.</p><p>"So uh..you stay." Michael offered.</p><p>Sara looked up, at his reddened eyes and the way he looked at Faith, her heart sank. She only now realised, how much this had affected him too.</p><p>Michael had been as frightened as her, if not more, and was only letting that show now. She wondered if it felt back like being in Poséidon's clutches, play a game, incarn a character, and only let go and show your emotions at a certain time. </p><p>She didn't ever want him to feel that again, and certainly not because of her. </p><p>"Are you sure ?" She asked, softly. </p><p>"Yeah, ofcourse. You're her mother." Michael smiled as if that statement implied she had more rights on Faith, than him. </p><p>As if he still detached himself from his family, could still protect them while staying in the shadows.</p><p>He still sacrified himself, so Sara could be close to their babe, even if that meant he would spend the night sleepless, worrying, alone on their bed. </p><p>Sara wouldn't let that happen. </p><p>"And you're her father." She pointed and their eyes locked intensely.</p><p>"You're staying." She decided.</p><p>Michael looked down and she sighed, bending her head to kiss Faith's copper hair softly.</p><p>"God Michael, I am so relieved she's okay.." Sara paused, breathing out and closing her eyes in relief, instinctively pressing her baby closer to her. "there's nothing more I need. And I have absolutely no problem with leaving her with you, I trust you more than myself to take care of her." Michael looked down, hiding his tears and nodded.</p><p>"Thank you." Sara heard him say, voice muffled by the choking lump in his throat.</p><p>Sara moved to the medical crib, kissed her babe softly, numerous times, she laid her down, properly covering her with a blanket and taking a second to look over her as Faith stirred and adjusted her position, the soft sound of her breathing balming Sara's heart.</p><p>She turned on her heels to face Michael. Without words, they embraced, Sara holding onto him tightly and stroking his back.</p><p>"Oh Michael...you should have told me, you should have let it all out, I know you love her more than anything, that our children are everything to you, you shouldn't have bottled it all inside you for my sake." Sara whispered emotionally and Michael nodded against her, pressing her even closer to himself. </p><p>"I was so scared.." He admitted.</p><p>"Me too." Sara whispered back. </p><p>They held each other for a moment, and Michael sighed in relief. </p><p>Michael backed and both pressed their temples together, craddling each other's masked face. </p><p>Sara breathed and closed her eyes and Michael, through his mask, kissed the top of her head, brushing her hair that was tied in a messy ponytail.  </p><p>She would have wanted to stay in his embrace forever, it was incredibly soothing, but she knew she had to go. </p><p>She looked down, knowing it was time for visitations to be over, and that she was still in her scrubs and had to take her stuff and talk with the board for some time off with her recovering daughter, before leaving. </p><p>Sara looked back at Faith, her heart heavy at leaving her but knowing, she was in the best of hands. Michael would take care of her like his life depended on it.</p><p>She smiled, and bent to kiss her forehead through her mask. "I love you so much.." She whispered to the babe. "be a good girl for dada." she let out stroking her head, Sara kissed her again, on the shoulder this time, not believing she had her precious baby back. She resolved herself to leave.</p><p>"Tell Mike, he's been so worried lately.." Michael shared and Sara sighed and nodded, looking forwards to sharing the news with her oldest.</p><p>"You'll be fine ?" Sara asked, seeing her emotionally distraught husband.</p><p>"Yes, I have her...and I can't believe it...but I'll be okay..love you Sara." he said again and Sara chuckled. "I know, and you should know that you're loved too, okay ?" She reassured him in the sweetest of voice, and they embraced a last time, silently, before she left.</p><p>.........</p><p>When Sara arrived home that night, things were different. When she exited her car, she didn't longingly look at the baby seat of the passenger seat, but with hope.</p><p>Hope that, in some days, Faith would be back in that seat again, gurgling and blabbing, laughing and filling her maternal heart with delight. </p><p>She stepped inside their house and found Mike reading a book on the couch. </p><p>Sara smiled fondly, retreating to remove her coat and wash her hands with disinfectant. She then, walked up to him and carressed his hair and kissed the top of his head. </p><p>God, she had neglected Mike so much since the begining of this whole mess.</p><p>"Hey, how are you?" Mike looked up and smiled a little.</p><p>"I am fine mom, where is dad ?" Mike asked looking in the hallway, his parents always came from the hospital together since Faith was admitted, unless Michael came first and Sara had an emergency, but the other way around never happened. </p><p>Sara took a deep breath and craddled both of Mike's hands in hers and bent to his level. </p><p>"Mike...I got something to tell you." she began emotionally, Mike left his book aside and looked at her.</p><p>"Your sister's awake.." Sara let out, and softly rubbed Mike's palms with her thumbs. "And she's okay, she's going to be okay." Sara said on a small emotional laugh.</p><p>Mike gasped a little. "Really mom ?" He asked in disbelief.</p><p>Sara nodded. "Yeah, I promise." She squeezed his hands.</p><p>Mike threw himself in his mother's arms, weeping against her chest.</p><p>"I thought she was gonna die.." he sobbed, and Sara, taken aback, gathered him in her arms and pressed her lips to his head.</p><p>"No...Mike, she's okay baby, she's absolutely fine." Sara promised, rubbing his back. </p><p>"If something had happened to her, I would have never forgiven myself.." Mike wept and Sara shook her head, frowning.</p><p>"It wasn't your fault, don't think like that...please." She felt like was talking to Michael, and she realised Mike was like Michael in more ways than she imagined, his unending guilt was present in Mike too. </p><p>"I'm sorry mom.." he sobbed, tighetening his arms around his mother's waist.</p><p>"Oh Mike....sweet boy, it wasn't because of you, don't apologies..I love you." she said with all her affection, rubbing his back.</p><p>............</p><p>Sara got a full night of sleep for the first time in a while, maybe it was because Mike slept right beside her. </p><p>He kept sobbing for a long while, and even after quieting down, silent tears couldn't stop leaving his eyes. </p><p>Sara's heart broke at his pain, she hadn't paid attention, she didn't knew Mike too, was this upset about his sister...he seemed just fine afterall. But Sara realised he had behaved just like Michael, kept eveything inside, the fear, the guilt, the pain, all not to bother his parents and specially, her. </p><p>She kept her son right next to her, stroking his back and whispering assurances and all her love till he fell asleep. He was 10 but he'll forever be her baby, and making him sleep with her in this traumatic time wouldn't do any harm.</p><p>He was much better in the morning, they had talked, and Sara hadn't left the house before she made sure he was okay, he should in no way, blame himself for what happened to his sister. </p><p>She wiped his tears several times, keeping him pressed against her heart, Sara didn't ever want any of her children to be in pain..and she had put Mike through so much already, her own grief, a half empty shell of a mother, exposed him to Jacob...she just wanted normal for her boy.</p><p>It's with those thoughts that Sara went to the hospital, she was there as early as possible.</p><p>Grabbing some coffee and breakfast from the cafetaria, Sara took the lift to Faith's hospital room. She knew Michael hadn't had dinner yesterday, and knowing him, he wouldn't be willing to leave Faith alone in her room for even 10 minutes, to get some breakfast. </p><p>She knocked softly and opened the hospital door, only to find Michael asleep on the visitor's couch, with Faith asleep, right on his chest. </p><p>Sara smiled a little, put the breakfast and coffee on the side table and removed her coat, hanging it on the back of a chair. </p><p>She bent and looked at Faith, slowly rubbing the top of her head.  Sara took a second to take her in, the way her adorable hands held Michael's shirt, her cheek resting against his chest, as her small back rose and fell with the rythm of her breathing. </p><p>She was alive..and okay.. </p><p>Her small hand was still pricked with numerous IVs. And Sara turned to look at the rack and the bags, saline and antibiotics. </p><p>Her heart still hurted, she just wanted Faith to be completely fine, but she knew she had to have a lot of patience, for her recovery, patience, would be the key word from know on. </p><p>She then looked at her husband, his neck must hurt in that position, why wasn't he laying more confortably ?</p><p>"Michael.." she whispered, waking him slowly. </p><p>Michael's eyes opened, his arms insintctively tightening around Faith in protectiveness. </p><p>"Good morning.." Sara greeted.</p><p>"Hi.." Michael let out groggily. </p><p>"Why don't you put her in her bed and rest better ?" Sara suggested softly.</p><p>"No, she cries...every time I put her in bed, she wakes up and cries, only settles in my arms.." Michael explained.</p><p>"So, you slept like that the whole night ?" Sara asked eyebrows raising.</p><p>Michael looked down at Faith. </p><p>"Oh Michael..rest please.<br/>..give her to me." Sara reached out for Faith, his arms must be so sore.</p><p>She gently took Faith in her arms, the baby woke and was startled feeling she wasn't in her farher's arms anymore, she began crying.</p><p>Sara rocked her and embraced her. "Hey Faith...it's me, it's mama sweetheart, I got you.." She soothed and Faith slowly stopped, then cried again, against Sara.</p><p>Michael looked at her troubled, his heart not bearing his daughter's cries anymore, no more.</p><p>"ma...mama..ma." she let out, while crying and Sara's heart sunk. "I am here, mama's right here." She consoled. </p><p>Faith had eventually settled, and Michael had breakfast, sleep wasn't in order anyway. He had been worried all night, Faith seemed to be in so much fear, and pain too, she wouldn't leave his arms for a second.</p><p>And he, even if prompted by the nurse that he should lay her down, that it was just the fear of an unknown environment that made her cry, couldn't hear her cries, he'd hold her numerous nights like that, if she felt safe in his arms.</p><p>"Did she eat ?" Sara asked, watching Michael gulp the hot coffee down in a few seconds.</p><p>"No, we tried yesterday, she would only cry and cry, the doctor finally settled to put her back on the nurtiments she was on, when intubed. We are supposed to try again today." Michael explained, his eyes pained by the memory, Faith had tried to feed, gulping steadily, but as soon as she swallowed, the hot milk hurt her raw throat and she spit back, coughing and almost choking up a couple of times. </p><p>The doctor decided to stop trying when she began crying too much, her choking up would only worsen things and they could try when her throat hurt less. </p><p>"Okay...you're gonna eat this time ? Right Faith ?" Sara cooed to the baby, she looked so small in her arms, compared to before. </p><p>Her weak form having shrunk to bone thin. Her head rested against her mother, face contorted, frown on her brows and pained eyes. She clearly was in disconfort, and maybe shook and scared too. </p><p>"Mama will make you eat..it's gonna be okay." Sara kissed the top of her head, brushing her soft red hair with her hand. </p><p>"You're in your scrubs..working ?" Michael noticed and ask, quickly swallowing some food, he just wanted to be there for Faith. </p><p>"No, it's just uh..habit." Sara chuckled and shrugged, she hadn't noticed she had worn them, following her mecanic morning routine, until she stepped out of the house and realised she was going to the hospital as a visitor.</p><p>Faith whimpered, barely audible, Sara felt it more than heard it and bent to look at the babe again. She was in pain. </p><p>"Faith, no crying, see what dada's eating, won't you steal his food, you always do that." Sara distracted the babe by turning so Michael was in her sight. </p><p>Faith observed her dad but the food didn't appeal her, instead, she locked eyes with him and Michael's heart broke right there.</p><p>"Hey love, want some croissant ?" He offereed and Faith simply stared at him, not at all appealed by the idea. </p><p>Michael finished his bite and quickly wiped his hands, disposing of the coffee cup and tissues. </p><p>"I'll get her a feeder, and maybe her doctor, see if we can make her eat." Sara nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of Faith's head. </p><p>.....</p><p>Feeding her wasn't an easy task. Faith started to make faces as soon as she saw the feeder. </p><p>Sara coaxed her into position and gently encouraged her to have milk. Faith, to give her credit, willingly tried. </p><p>She settled against her mother, but as soon as the nipple was between her lips and she sucked from it, and gulped, the hot liquid burned her wounded throat and she let go, raising her hand to push the feeder away and crying. </p><p>That's when Sara noticed with a pang, that the girl who always, adamantly gripped and held her feeder herself, often batting hers or Michael's hands away, now could barely raise them from weakness, let alone her small arms now bearing the weight of the feeder. </p><p>"Oh sweet girl, I know it hurts, I know, but you gotta eat, come on, try again, for mama." Sara encouraged and Michael looked on, pained, he just couldn't bear her to cry right now. </p><p>Sara tried again, easing the feeder between the baby's small lips, and this time, from fear of the pain, Faith didn't swallow, simply suck at the feeder but that ended in her choking on the milk, and the doctor took the feeder away, as Faith cried furiously.</p><p>Sara wiped the spilled milk from her chin and kissed her babe's forehead. </p><p>"Faith, shhh...I am sorry, I am sorry." Explanations didn't settle with Faith who quietted, but then cried again, miserably. </p><p>Michael rubbed the little one's back, locking eyes with Sara as both their heart bled.</p><p>"We're gonna have to artificially feed her if she can't drink..and you know it's better this way." The doctor said to Sara, knowing her profession and Sara nodded. </p><p>Feeding her through tubes will damage her throat again and it won't help healing in any case. </p><p>"No, no, we have to get her to eat." Sara sighed, pressing Faith against her and trying to calm her first. </p><p>"Give her to me, I'll try." Michael suggested, unable to see his little one in pain. </p><p>Sara handed the baby to Michael, who craddled her again his chest and rocked her, taking a few steps away from Sara and the doctor and standing near the window, he knew it soothed Faith. </p><p>The little girl quieted against Michael. </p><p>"Come on Faith, sweetheart, you have to eat, let's try again." Michael said in the softest of voice and slowly rocked her while easing the feeder between her lips, Faith gulped the milk and her face crumpled in pain but Michael stroked the sole of her feet, something he knew used to sooth her.. Faith frowned and grunted her disconfort but did not let go and took one more gulp, squeezing her eyes but begining to drink.</p><p>Sara watched on over Michael's shoulder, wrapped her arms around him from behind and tucked her chin against his shoulder, she held Faith's second feet and mimicked Michael's movements. </p><p>Little Faith focussed on that and managed to get through the disconfort of her aching throat.</p><p>.......</p><p>Once fed, Faith was asleep and after discussing some details on her health condition and the progress they would have to make with her recovery, Sara and Michael retreated to her room, exhausted.</p><p>Sara closed the door behind herself, her eyes falling on the sleeping baby Michael watched too, ahead of her.</p><p>Michael turned and his eyes fell on Sara, she looked up and both closed the distance between each other and embraced. Both left a breath of relief, Sara closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest while Michael shut his eyes too, inhaling the scent of her hair and squeezed her tighter against him.</p><p>"I am so relieved.." Sara let out emotionally and Michael breathed,."Me too, I was so scared...god."      </p><p>Sara shut her eyes and held him tighter, her arms gripping his back. It had been one intense ordeal. Michael held her back, breathing her in.</p><p>Sara broke the contact first, backing and locking her eyes with his troubled one, she pressed her lips against his, and he responded, kissing her back, urgently, in small pecks, then opened his eyes and craddled the side of her face.</p><p>"I love you." He let out and Sara's heart swelled as she craddled his hand back. </p><p>"I love you too." Sara let out, her heart swelling.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Afterwards</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Faith is back home :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>two more little chapters left !</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After giving her a day of rest, the pediatre had scheduled some kinesitherapeutic sessions for Faith, followed by reeducation.</p><p>Sara had stayed overnight with Faith this time, and if the baby seemed more at ease with her surroundings at least, her physical disconfort didn't go away. </p><p>Michael watched with unease as Sara passed over little Faith to the kiné Doctor. Faith wasn't too happy at the idea of being away from her mother's arms and fussed a bit, Sara stayed closeby and he, right behind.</p><p>"It's okay, it's okay baby...we're just going to play a little.." The doc soothed and Sara smiled to Faith in assurance, holding her small hand.</p><p>"We need to work on articulations and muscles flexation.." the doc explained, flexing up Faith's legs up against her stomach. </p><p>Faith didn't like it however, it was common amongst covid patients to have intense legs and limbs courbatures and pains. </p><p>Her face crumpled as her expression showed disconfort, the doctor repeated the movement and exercice and Faith cried, her small fists trying to bat the doctor's hands away. </p><p>Unable to, she turned to her parents and wailed, her cries tearing Michael's heart. </p><p>"Mama.." She wailed and Sara stroked her smallest palm.</p><p>"It's okay baby, you're okay, you got to work out a little huh ? So you can be all healthy again." Sara softly explained and Faith quieted to listen to her but her lips bubbled down into an expression of pain and disconfort as the doctor went on with her exercices, tickling her a little to distract her but Faith stared right at her face with a frown, too smart to fall for it. </p><p>"Her legs must hurt a lot.." The doctor explained sympathetically, working on massaging Faith's thighs, and then flexing them sideways, then upways. Faith fussed, crying again, tired and squirming under the doctors arms.</p><p>"Can we have a little pause ?" Michael asked, he was unable to see Faith cry, at all. It reminded him of how she cried right before being hooked to monitors and respirators and now that she was back, he just wanted her safe and confortable. </p><p>"It's a 10 minutes exercise, won't be too long.." the doctor promised.</p><p>"No but I mean.." he began and Sara turned to him. "She needs to go through reeducation Michael." She said softly.</p><p>Faith whined crying again and watching him straight now that Sara seemed to dismiss her. </p><p>He couldn't bear the painful look in her eyes, he didn't knew why, he knew he was being unreasonable but he couldn't. </p><p>"Excuse me.." He said softly and left the room.</p><p>Sara stared taken aback and made a step to go behind him but turned to the fussing Faith, she needed at least one of them to feel reassured.</p><p>"It's okay sweet girl, I am here.." She soothed. </p><p>..............</p><p>"I am sorry." Michael apologised looking away from the window.</p><p>Sara reached for his hand squeezing it. "You don't have to be.."</p><p>"I am being silly...I know I should be helping you get through all this but..I can't see her in pain." Sara smiled in sympathy and kissed the top of his head reaching for his hand and squeezing it. </p><p>"You know when Mike was little and sick, I was the same, even worst maybe.. she's like your first baby, and this isn't even just a flu, it's normal." Michael nodded, he could only be thankful for her understanding. </p><p>"she'll be okay, I..it hurts me too, but I have faith in her." Sara smiled a little at her word-game. </p><p>Michael smiled back taking a deep breath.</p><p>......</p><p>The next session was probably the harder thing to do for both of them. </p><p>Faith was led to a baby playground, and was supposed to try to crawl around on her own. </p><p>A task easier said than done, Faith wouldn't leave their arms, she cried and clung to Sara when she tried to put her down and grabbed his shirt in her small fist, visibly afraid and crying. </p><p>Michael's heart ached already at that. </p><p>"Come on sweetheart, it's okay, we're watching you..we're right here." Sara cooed, she was trying her best to help Faith, he knew, but he felt like this was pushing the child. </p><p>"Come on...yes baby I am right here, look what's this, awe ? it's a ball." Sara distracted her by making her play with plastic balloons and it worked, Faith after a while didn't cling to her as much and watched her mother try to interact without actually responding. </p><p>Michael bent and joined Sara.</p><p>"Okay, now the ball is right here, and you got to come catch it okay ? come to mama Faith.." Sara encouraged under the watchful eyes of the doctor and worried looks of Michael.</p><p>Faith fussed, she tried to put herself forwards to crawl, ackwardly adjusting her unused limbs, at her first attempt, her frail arms didn't support her weight and she fell, face first.</p><p>Michael's heart tore as both reached to her, Faith wailed and the doctor examined her. </p><p>"She lacks strenght, she is still way too weak, we should maybe rise her vitamins." </p><p>"She didn't eat much, not as usual..." Sara mourned. </p><p>"Try for one more hour and then we shouldn't force on her." The doctor suggested and Michael agreed. </p><p>"Yeah Sara, we should wait for her to be healthier." He said slowly, worried.</p><p>"You got to try a little Faith ? Come on.." Sara tried will all her goodwill, this time helping Faith in position. </p><p>"Okay...now see the ball is right here, and mama is right here, you have to come to me to get the ball, come on baby, you cant do it.." she encouraged and Faith tried, putting one limb after the other..</p><p>She made progress ever so slowly. "That's great, come on.." Sara encouraged and Michael knelt opposite them, watching Faith's slow progress. </p><p>After a few steps she stopped panting and began crying.</p><p>"No..wait." Sara told him as Michael reached forwards to their babe. </p><p>"Sara -  " he protested. </p><p>"You can do it sweetheart, come to mama.." Sara said gently but Faith cried as she struggled to move forwards. </p><p>Sara swallowed, her heart breaking too, but she had to do this, she had to take this from a doctor point of view, not a mother. </p><p>"Yes come on!" she encouraged as Faith began crawling again, with difficulty, after a while, when she almost made it..Michael smiled as Sara laughed :  </p><p>"that's so good, see you can do it, come on, come for the ball.." she encouraged as Faith reached for the ball, still a little too far, Sara threw the ball at Michael who caught it taken aback.</p><p>"Come on go for the ball.." Faith looked at Sara and wailed, playing along and making a U-turn towards Michael nonetheless. </p><p>"This is just cruel." He shook his head pained. </p><p>When Faith was halfway, Michael pushed the ball towards her and she took it happily...</p><p>"hey that's cheating," Sara argued.</p><p>She then looked at Sara, almost for instructions. </p><p>"Come bring it to mama." Sara cooed. </p><p>Faith slowly progressed towards Sara and handed the ball to her. </p><p>Sara rolled it at the left, far away.<br/>"Now go take it, come on.." </p><p>Faith whined and looked at Michael, then slowly made a u-turn and crawled towards him. </p><p>"hey, no that's not the game."  Sara laughed.</p><p>Michael caught her right in his arms. "enough, she doesn't want to play anymore." he said and kissed Faith's forehead as she rested against him. </p><p>"It was great, she's a fast learner and will recover so well." The doctor said and Sara smiled. "Yeah..I hope so." she said in a teary voice sharing a look with Michael.</p><p>........</p><p>Michael held Faith against him as she rested after her exercice, Sara sat across him back in Faith's hospital room and sipped some coffee. </p><p>After the eventful day, calm and peace finally was on all three of their epxressions, Michael patted Faith's back gently, as she rested, not totally sleeping but quite tired.</p><p>"She did great..you'll see, she is going to be back to crawling in no time." Sara smiled at him. </p><p>"Yeah, I know, she's strong.." he said fondly looking down at Faith.</p><p>"She looks so much like you.." He commented watching Faith and then Sara, tenderly, Sara smiled back, her love shining in her eyes. </p><p>"I am so relieved." Sara let out putting the empty coffee cup down. </p><p>"Me too.." He lovingly extended one hand, and Sara grasped it, as both stroke each other's hands, Sara's thumb rubbing the back of his palm.</p><p>"I love you." She whispered, her eyes reflecting her emotions. </p><p>Before Michael could reply however, Faith raised her head and stared at their joined hands, she grabbed Sara's hand and pushed it away.</p><p>"No no no." she blabbed. </p><p>Sara gasped in mock shock while Michael laughed. </p><p>"Hey !" She complained and put her hand is Michael's again, he stroked her knucles, tenderly his thumb craddling her wedding ring. </p><p>Faith separated their hands once again babbling again and this time put her own hand in Michael's. </p><p>Michael laughed kissing the top of her head. </p><p>"Noo!" Sara played her game, removing her tiniest hand away and claiming Michael's hand back. </p><p>Faith, with almost anger in her tone now, verbally fought Sara and grasped her hand, almost scratching her skin and yanking it away with all the force she could muster. She blabbed incoherently, fighting Sara with vigor.</p><p>"He's my husband ! I married him first." Sara said back and Faith stared as her mom leant in towards her dad and kissed him, both pecked repeatedly teasing Faith who slapped Sara's cheek and held the skin of her cheek in her fist, pulling her away. </p><p>"Oww.." Sara complained, she had scaratched her all over the cheekbone.</p><p>"Faith Scofield !" she scolded, and Faith blabbed fighting her and turning to hug Michael, expanning her limbs and encircling him possesively with her arms.</p><p>Michael held her back, laughing softly. "Oh baby you're so cute." he said in awe and Sara feigned offense</p><p>"No, go away, he's mine, you weren't even a piece of cell when he started loving me." Sara said defensively and Michael laughed as she removed one of Faith's arm and rested her head on his shoulder.</p><p>Faith cried out, hitting her face and pulling at her hair. "Ouch.." Sara cried trying to get her hair back, Michael took hold of Faith's wrist while she untangled her hair from her tighly closed fist. </p><p>"You're such a meanie." Sara said tapping her arm once her hair was free. </p><p>Faith's lips bubbled and she looked at Michael with sad eyes, crying softly. </p><p>"Awe..you made her cry." Michael pulled Faith against him and rubbed her back with a smile playing at the corner of her lips.</p><p>"What me ? She pulled at my hair Michael. She's such a drama queen." Sara scoffed grinning and playfully slapped Faith's diapper clad bum. "Hey miss, stop acting." She teased and Faith babbled something defensively making both of them laugh. </p><p>"Let her be." Michael shielded Faith in mock protection.</p><p>"Look at that, I carried you around for 9 months, fed you waking up at ungodly hours, changed your nappies and sacrified my own self for you, look at mama's abs now ? I'll never get them back, and my hair ? I used to have such a beautiful hair when I still had the time to make a balm every week.." Faith had turned to Sara, listening attentively. "All this to be rewarded with a bratty daddy's girl." Sara provoked teasing the babe with mock scolding and Michael laughed as Faith stared at him with the most adorable frown. </p><p>"Sara stop." he laughed. </p><p>Faith babbled incoherently : "pata...ba..da...da.."  Michael gasped and looked at her. </p><p>"She said dada!" He beamed at Sara who rolled her eyes. "She did not." Sara mocked. </p><p>"She did ! Faith, baby say it again, say dada, da-da." Michael spelled out syllabically.</p><p>"dada..." Faith repeated and he beamed kissing her tiny nose. </p><p>"She said it, she just said dada." He repeated and Sara laughed, she had never seen this kind of joy on his face, actually she did, first when Mike spontaneously called him dad, he had weeped even, and then when he first held Faith..</p><p>Her heart melted, he absolutely loved their children, it made her feel all fuzzy.</p><p>She stroked Faith's hair. "You love dada more than me huh ? Who do you love more ?" Sara asked, knowing the child was upset with her.</p><p>"Dada.." Faith anwsered and Michael laughed embracing her. </p><p>Sara and he shared a look, grins plastered on their faces, they had gotten their baby back, and she was healthy and it was honestly all they could ask for. She was gaining some sort of vitality and assurance back, for the first time since she woke up. </p><p>Prior to that, she would fuss or just be held quietly, exhausted, quiet and sick-looking. Now, she talked again and even gained movement power again. </p><p>Their hands instinctively reached towards each other again but before they could meet, Faith yanked them apart. "No..no.." she said defensively and Sara chuckled. </p><p>"Okay, okay, I am not stealing your dada, I'll leave." Sara checked her watch. </p><p>"So she's out tomorrow, right ?" Michael asked, fear still catching at the back of his mind.</p><p>"Yeah Michael, first thing tomorrow, I'll be here at 9 am okay ? It's time to go come back home." Sara kissed her crown. </p><p>Faith studied her intensely. "Mike is going to be so happy, your brother is so eager to see you." Michael said to Faith. </p><p>"Yeah he is." Sara agreed, with a fond smile, Mike loved his little sister so much.</p><p>Faith turned to see her standing with her bag in one arm. "ba..bye.." she mumbled waving with her, still weak hand clumsily.</p><p>Sara scoffed and laughed. "Bye bye ? I know I have been mean huh..mama made you do all those hard exercices, you know it's for your well-being, so you can get all better ?" Sara said tenderly stroking the babe face with the back of her fingers. </p><p>Faith watched her bluntly and Sara laughed kissing the top of her forehead. </p><p>"Bye bye.."  she said and Faith waved adorably. </p><p>Sara leaned over her and pressed her lips on Michael's, Faith looked up and whined and she laughed against his lips while he craddled her head and kissed her again.</p><p>"I'll call you later, give my love to Mike." He promised. </p><p>"Alright." She smiled and gave a last annoyed look at Faith before leaving. </p><p>........</p><p>Sara threw her head back, exhaling as her muscles relaxed under the shower's hot flow of water. </p><p>She grabbed the shampooing bottle and removed the cap, stopping the water as she applied the shampoo on her hair and massaged her hair. It had been such hectic times that it was a luxury to finally take 5 minute for herself and bask in the simplicity of the lavender scent of her lotion.</p><p>Her thoughts were interrupted by Faith's cries coming from the other side of the door. </p><p>Sara sighed. She had left Faith asleep in her baby transat barely five minutes ago. </p><p>She quickly rinsed off her hair, and walked out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, Sara called out : "Faith, I am right here, you're not alone." She reassured. </p><p>Sara often let Faith alone in her transat before, even when awake, Faith never cried like this, she loved her transat. </p><p>Sara would wander around, cleaning and cooking and working while Faith played happily, never complaining, often babling and communicating with her.</p><p>Faith's cries only intensified at hearing her voice and Sara hurried more, grabing her panties and enfiling one leg after the other, she reached for her bra, Faith's furious cries ringing in her ears.</p><p>"Faith ! Baby calm down, mama's here." She tried calming again, while she clipsed her bra behind her back, and reached for her clothes, passing on the whole process of cream, so much for wanting the luxury of a proper toilette for herself. </p><p>Sara dried her dripping wet hair quickly with a towel, as much as she could to not soak their bedroom floor with water, and finally unlocked the bathroom door and walked out. </p><p>"I am here, baby wha - " Sara stopped in her tracks, seeing Faith not in her transat but on the floor, crying.</p><p>"Oh god..." Sara rushed to her, bending and carrying her up in her arms. </p><p>Faith hicupped and urgently clung to her, crying a new. </p><p>"hey..sweet girl...what happened ?" Sara asked rhetorically and then looked down at her seeing a small bump on her forehead. </p><p>She had hit herself while trying to get out of her transat. Sara rubbed her wound slowly, it was a minor bump, nothing looked wrong, she exhaled. </p><p>"Faith, Faith...it's okay, it's nothing, I've got you...sshh" Sara reassured. </p><p>Faith kept crying, her breathing coming into choked puffs, Sara pressed her against her and kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back lovingly. </p><p>"It's okay, mama's here, mama's right here sweet baby, I didn't leave you all alone, there was no need to panic.." Sara cooed slowly, she sighed remorsefully, Faith never was like this, she always left her alone in a room to shower or do anything else, she had even left her in her transat and gone out till the bakery, the pharmacy, or the post office before.</p><p>The covid-19 trauma had impacted her so much she always needed one of her parent with her now, she didn't even want to be left alone with Mike anymore. </p><p>Sara backed against her tiny gripping fists, to face her. </p><p>"Look at me, look at me, shhh...hey, you're okay, you're not alone. You're a big girl baby..it's alright.." Sara spoke softly to her babe, Faith stopped crying for a minute, looked at Sara, but then her face crisped again and she burried herself in Sara's chest, her little body shaking with her cries as her arms clung to her mother.</p><p>"Oh Faith.." Sara closed her eyes, rocking her softly. </p><p>There was no use, this has scared her behond anything else, Faith always seemed to be in fear, in fear to be left alone. </p><p>She was probably aware of what happened around her when intubed, and the long hours of the night she spent in a quiet, lone hospital room must have scared the life out of her, she must have looked for her parents, needed their voice and presence, how long did visiting hours last after all ? not even 50% of a 24 hours day. </p><p>"Shhh...." Sara rocked her ever so softly, rubbing her hair with gentle strokes and adorning her head with slow, loving kisses.</p><p>....</p><p>Michael came back home with Mike from the testing center.</p><p>After Sara and Faith, both, had been infected, and that Michael had regularely been to the hospital, he and Sara had judged necessary for Michael and Mike to be tested.</p><p>The waiting line was unending, the government failed to put a stable testing sytem in place. Mike and him waited at least for a couple of hours under the heat of june's sun. Mike had grown impatient after about 40 minutes, and Michael didn't blame him, he himself didn't understant how this could be possible.</p><p>"I'm going to shower, dad." Mike said in exhaustion as he put his shoes on the shoe rack.</p><p>"Sure, take some rest, we can have dinner in a while." Michael anwsered, watching him climb the stairs.</p><p>He looked at Sara, and reciprocated her small smile, she closed the book she was reading and rose from the couch, approaching him.</p><p>"Is he tired ?" She asked.</p><p>"Yeah, it was a mess, you know..." both sighed together, assessing the situation. </p><p>"Go wash up too, I'll start dinner." Sara said gently and Michael nodded, wanting to kiss her, even briefly, in affection, but knowing better, he should wash his hands first.</p><p>"Where is Faith ?" Michael asked, his heart was still on the hook, he always needed to see Faith and check on her himself if she was indeed alright for his peace of mind.</p><p>"Sleeping. She fussed a lot earlier, just put her to sleep. She needs to rest, she doesn't sleep nearly enough." Sara replied, thoughtful.</p><p>Michael nodded, it was true that since Faith was back from the hospital, she did never fully do her nights. It was a stark contrast from her stable sleeping and napping routine of before. She woke in the middle of the night, cried, stayed awake and hardly slept more than 3 hours straight. It was unusual to say the least, she didn't even have such an unstable pattern in her early months, like most preemies do. </p><p>"Okay, I'll be right back to help you." He told Sara, who absently watched him go upstairs, herself lost in her own worries about her daughter.</p><p>Michael quickly showered, cleaning up as fast as he could and went to check on the sleeping infant.</p><p>He bent over her crib, gently stroking her copper hair, she slept on her stomach, both her arms on the sides of her head, slow puffs of air left her slightly open mouth.</p><p>Michael let out a breath, still in awe of having her back, his fingers moved to the front of her head toward her forehead in their caress and Michael frowned. Her forehead felt sticky...and there was a small bump on the side of it. He looked closer in the dim light, a spot on her forehead was indeed shining, was that ointement ?</p><p>His heart sank and accelerated, what happened ? Had she hurt herself ? And how, Sara was with her the whole time. She had taken a month long leave, she needed to rest too.</p><p>Michael let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding and kissed the top of her temple, as he walked downstairs.</p><p>"Sara ?" he called out.</p><p>"uh huh ? Will you please set the table if you're here." Sara anwsered without turning from her spot in the kitchen where she stirred the pot.</p><p>"What happened to Faith's forehead ?" Michael asked, worry almost choking his voice.</p><p>Sara turned this time, shaking her head. "She hurt herself, but don"t worry Michael, it's just a minor hit, will be gone by a couple of days." Sara promised. </p><p>Michael exhaled with relief but his heart twisted with worry, what if it had been worse ?</p><p>"How did it happen ?" he asked, almost breathless with concern.</p><p>Sara put the steaming spoon on the counter. "She fell from her transat, you know how bright she is, she just knows how to unbuckle that thing." Sara chuckled a little, looking down pensively at the counter. </p><p>Michael looked at her and frowned ? Why was she underseeing this ?</p><p>"And weren't you watching her ?" He asked on a more accusating tone and Sara raised her eyes to meet his. </p><p>"I went to shower Michael, it's not the first time I've left her unwatched." Sara pointed, a frown appearing on her forehead too at his tone.</p><p>"Right, you realise things are not like before." He said, trying to keep his calm. </p><p>"I know, she is so scared and on edge...but then it would have happened before too, it was just a small accident." Sara tried to rationalise, wanting herself to believe this virus had not altered the entire growth of her baby. </p><p>"It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been neglected." Michael said in a low tone.</p><p>Sara's tone rose with indignation. "What do you mean ?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Storms and foam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"And weren't you watching her ?" He asked on a more accusating tone and Sara raised her eyes to meet his. </p><p>"I went to shower Michael, it's not the first time I've left her unwatched." Sara pointed, a frown appearing on her forehead too at his tone.</p><p>"Right, you realise things are not like before." He said, trying to keep his calm. </p><p>"I know, she is so scared and on edge...but then it would have happened before too, it was just a small accident." Sara tried to rationalise, wanting herself to believe this virus had not altered the entire growth of her baby. </p><p>"It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't been neglected." Michael said in a low tone.</p><p>Sara's tone rose with indignation. "What do you mean ?"</p><p>"I meant what you heard. How can you be so careless ? She almost died on us, you should be always watching on her, what if this has been worse, if she hurt herself more, you very well know the impacts this could have had, you're a doctor." Michael shook his head, his heart dreaded having to take Faith to the hospital again, he couldn't do that. </p><p>Sara took a deep breath. </p><p>"I haven't done anything irresponsible. You very well know that we need for her to heel, to be back to normal, and that can't happen if she's scared to even be by herself." Sara replied back. </p><p>"Be by herself ? She's a six months old baby Sara. And she is not normal. She has gone through one of the hardest ordeal of our times and we should do everything we can for her not to end up sick or hurt again." Michael pointed, his eyes filled with worry.</p><p>"Look, I know you're scared, I know we've just got her back. But I am her mother Michael, I would never do anything that I'd juge harmful to her. I know how to take care of a sick child, and these little contusions, they happen all the time." Sara pointed out, she very well understood Michael's reaction, god knew she didn't want anyone to look after baby Mike if it wasn't her, and if it wasn't her way, but Michael needed to see she was Faith's mother, not a stranger. </p><p>"Here we go again. When are you going to stop with this pretention of yours that you know better ?" Michael rolled his eyes, challenging her.</p><p>Sara sighed. "Michael. You're tired, and you're emotionally raw because you can't see her hurt. We're not doing this right now, go get Mike, I'll put the table myself." Sara turned on him, the last thing she wanted right now was to argue with Michael. She could unhear whatever he said or they could talk about it later, but there was no use for things to escalate while he was like this. </p><p>"No, we're having this discussion, you're not avoiding this. When are you going to stop making me feel inferior, taunting me with how you're experienced and have already done this and implying time and time again, that I wasn't there for Mike. That you're the one who always know what's better for our children." Michael asked, his voice filled with a tinge of anger now. </p><p>Sara's heart sank. What ?</p><p>She turned to him. "When have I ever made you feel like that Michael ?!" She asked indignated. </p><p>"Since ever I came back ! You've always made me feel like this. Inferior, incompetant. Always micromanaged me, told me what to do, how to do. You're always chosing what to do for the kids, always taking the important decisions and announcing them to me instead of discussing. Throwing your confidence with baby caring in my face to prove how novice I am. And this isn't new, it started with Mike, telling me what to do, making me feel I didn't knew anything, throwing it in my face, through your little implications that I'd missed his childhood." Sara cut him anger and indignation boiling inside her too.</p><p>"Well that's the truth. You were not there. You were gone for seven years Michael." Sara stated angrily, unlike her usual calmness and Michael's heart tore. He knew he'd always be blamed for his absence, no matter what. It broke him to not know things about Mike.</p><p>"I figured things on my own with Mike, even when I would have liked for someone to be there, for my husband to be there ! To micromanage me and tell me what to do ! But there was no one, only a son with needs and its shell of a mother that was ravaged by grief and had to know what to do, I dragged myself through single-motherhood, and don't think I felt confident and pretentious or any of the things you've said, I felt like I was hanging by a thread all the time." </p><p>Sara's voice cracked with anger and she looked away.</p><p>"I was gone to protect you." Michael said in a low pained voice. </p><p>"Doesn't change the fact that you weren't there ! You came back years later, out of the blue, to a grown up son you knew nothing about. And god knows I did everything I could for you to not to feel unfit, I always cared for your feelings, wanted to integrate you into our family, I never intended to make you feel like you didn't belong." Sara pointed with glassy eyes. </p><p>Michael smiled sadly. "But you did Sara, you did, maybe against your own will, unknowingly.." </p><p>"If I did at times direct you Michael, it's because I was, am a mother too, not just a wife, and that my son's whole life had been turned upside down with your come back, we shifted to Chicago...he lost his friends, school, everything he knew. And I wanted him to keep a minimum of stability." </p><p>Michael shook his head, he had done nothing to cause havoc into Mike's life, how could she blame him of that ? He had even said he was ready to live with Lincoln if his presence was a problem for Mike. It was her idea to move to Chicago, Sara couldn't stay in the house she shared with Jacob, she couldn't even see her bedroom and had began to sleep on the couch, downstairs. </p><p>"He had seen and gone through more than kids of his age do, and he needed his little habits, it was to make him feel secure Michael, not to belittle you in any way. I had afterall been there for him all his life, I know what he felt or needed without him telling me." Sara ended, sighing.</p><p>"You're doing it again, making me feel like you know him better.." Michael pointed and Sara shook her head in exasperation. </p><p>"What's this about Michael ? Is that because you took care of Mike on your own when Faith was sick ? That you emotionally bottled everything in for my sake ? Then you shouldn't have, if it is for you to explose like that in order to evacuate all that pent up tension, you shouldn't have." Michael breathed in at her accusation, putting his hands on his hips and then holding his head.</p><p>"You don't know what you're talking about." He said lowly.</p><p>"Really ? I am tired of it. I am human too and I can't take this, you having PTSD is a thing, but always being overprotective and almost paranoid..I am not a shrink. And I am tired of always having to deal with an abnormal husband on top of the kids and the mess at the hospital." Sara said almost out of spite, she'd surely beat herself up for saying that later, but him questionning her motherhood had fueled anger in her. </p><p>abnormal husband. Michael swallowed, his chest constricting.</p><p>He looked up at her suddenly. "Right, you're tired of me...Were you like this with Jacob too ? Or was he better, maybe you think he was a better father, knew Mike better, took better care of him. Was a normal husband ? And you're unconsciously comparing me to him ?"</p><p>Sara's skin crawled at that name, she looked away and bit her lip. "I can't believe you're saying this." she said in disbelief.</p><p>"No, tell me Sara. Do you regret him ? If you're so sick of my problems, maybe you think Jacob was a better father."</p><p>"Jacob was never Mike's father !" Sara snapped at him, her voice rising. "He never ever called him dad, he did never had the rights or say a father has, I have always been the only parent to Mike, I didn't even list him as a legal representant to Mike." Sara pointed anger boiling in her for Michael to bring this up or even think something like that, after all they had gone through ? </p><p>"You want to know what Jacob was to Mike ? Go ahead, ask him, you're thinking I am micromanaging you ? Michael, Jacob couldn't even have a say in Mike's grades and school matters, he never could take any decision for Mike, whether Mike wanted a gift or to go to a friend's birthday party, I was always the one to decide." Sara argued.</p><p>"So that's the problem, your behaviour with our children, and me, it's all because of the habits you had with him." Michael said in disgust, that man still disgusted him to the core.</p><p>Sara crossed the counter she was using as physical and emotional barrier to stand right next to him. </p><p>"If I didn't let him be Mike's father, it was because I couldn't even steal that role from the thought of you. I let a ghost, memories be Mike's dad, not him, because I couldn't even steal this from your memory." Sara ended, swallowing a sob.</p><p>Michael sighed deeply, regretting even bringing this up. "That wasn't my point." he stated in a low voice.</p><p>"Then what the hell was?" Sara asked.</p><p>"I am not him Sara, I did never treat you with anything but respect, I cherish you. Why treat me like you did him ? I have a say in what's right for the children too." Michael was not sure if his argument was even valid now, feeling guilt for bringing Jacob up, it was visibly distressing her, he watched her swallow.</p><p>"Right.." Sara approached him and yanked his arm away from the counter where it rested. "Look at me ? Do you ever think I've been treating you like I treated him ?" Sara asked firmly.</p><p>"Anwser me ? I've always been doing the bridge between Mike and you, setting you two together, planning and thinking of how to help your relationship, telling you how much you meant in that boy's eyes, and him how much his father loved him. And Faith ? Since the day she is born, I've let you do everything, let you decide everything, what daycare, what clothing, what lotion, what stroller, all because I knew she was the first time for you, and I wanted you to experience that, fully. I've kept myself away from her at times so you could be there for her, be it her first pediatry appointement, first daycare day, first Christmas, first party.. I never knew you would take this as carelessness and were going to throw that in my - " Sara was cut by a small voice from the stairs.</p><p>"Why are you fighting ?" Both her and Michael looked up startled at Mike's small frame as he held the stairs railing, as if to brace himself.</p><p>Michael turned and put on a fake smile, swallowing back his emotions, as Sara wiped the remaining tears and composed herself.</p><p>"We're not Mike." Michael lied. </p><p>Mike observed them, looking as both his mother, standing behind his father and, visibly distressed and his dad, obviously unconfortable.</p><p>"Is it because of me ? I'll stay anyhow you want, I don't care and I don't mind, please just don't fight for me." Mike insisted in a small voice. His parents rarely argued, unless on trivial matters, and almost never full blown like this.</p><p>"It's not about you, baby." Sara assured, not wanting Mike to blame himself for this.</p><p>"I heard you talk about me mom." Mike replied.</p><p>Sara frowned a little, how much had he heard ? </p><p>"And didn't I teach you how bad it is to listen to adults behind closed doors ?" Sara scolded in anger.</p><p>"Sara, this is between you and me, don't scold him." Michael said slowly to her, ackwardly, he then looked at Mike.</p><p>"Mike, buddy, come here, let's get you some dinner." Mike obeyed his father, and as he grabbed a plate to help Michael set the table, Sara chuckled ironically.</p><p>"Yeah, because I am officially the bad parent here right ? What was it..irresponsible, careless and overconfident ?" Sara said on a sarcastic tone and left upstairs, the dinner half cooked.</p><p>Michael watched her leave and sighed, what had just happened ? </p><p>...........</p><p>When Michael came to their bedroom, after making Mike eat and putting him to bed, promising him that they weren't arguing over anything important, Sara had just finished feeding Faith and was holding her against her shoulder, trying to put her to sleep, she rubbed the baby's back pensively, and Michael felt a torrent of guilt wash over him for whatever he had said to her. </p><p>"Give her to me, I'll put her to sleep." He offered. </p><p>Sara looked up and handed him Faith, the babe instantly clung to him, hiding her face in his neck in half slumber.</p><p>"Sure, if I said no I'd be micromanaging you, right ?" she whispered, walking passed him to the bathroom.</p><p>Michael sighed, she was still upset.<br/>He took Faith to her room, it took time to settle her in bed these days, if she woke while he put her down in her crib, she'd whimper and cry, she really felt utterly terrified of being alone.</p><p>But it had been almost a week since she was back from the hospital and she couldn't keep on sleeping with them, althought Michael melted at the feel of waking with her clinging to his arm, he knew Sara was right, she needed a stable sleeping pattern, in her own bedroom. </p><p>Once he had managed to successfully put her to sleep, he willed to return to their bedroom and talk to Sara, apologies. </p><p>But he stopped in the corridor, hearing voices coming from Mike's room.</p><p>"and you should go to him, maybe when you need to ask something and get an autorisation..because your dad, he still feels bad for not being here while you were small, and he needs that." Michael heard Sara explain softly to Mike, and he peered in, she was sitting next to him on the bed and stroking Mike's hand. </p><p>"Okay...I understand. But then, won't you feel bad, I mean you always get upset whenever I do anything without your permission." Mike pointed. </p><p>"Things like listening at doors ? Yes. But if you've asked your dad or talked to him, I have no problem." Sara began on a teasing note and then ended more seriously. </p><p>Mike nodded and squeezed her hand. "Because you and me, we're strong right, and we were here before, so we'll manage." Mike spoke softly and Sara laughed a little, kissing his temple. </p><p>Mike was almost ten, but he still let Sara be affectionate with him, in fact, he was the one to seek her hugs at time, and Michael understood that it was indeed a relationship that had been based on special circumstances, and that feeling jealous or pained was immature of him. Sara had to have adapted to motherhood and the raw responsabilities herself, growing old twice as fast as she would have with his presence, in that sense, and Mike would have to rely on her twice as much, knowing how hard it was for his mother and censoring some of his own demands and needs. He regretted his words immensely. </p><p>"Right, we both will always." Sara replied. </p><p>"I love you mom." He pressed. </p><p>Sara smiled stroking his hair. "Me too, baby." </p><p>"But you know.." Mike began, taking her hand off his hair. "What dad said was true...you are a little too controlling sometimes." Mike laughed. </p><p>"Mike !" Sara reprimanded. "That's not true, you know all the efforts I have done to change that, I even let you go out alone till whenever you wanted before this whole virus fiasco, I was the one who wanted to give you autonomy. Forgot that ?" Sara pointed.</p><p>"Yes but dad disagreed right ? And we both did absolutely not consider his opinion, that was mean." Mike explained, trying to make his mother think. Sara did, for a while.</p><p>"I think you should say sorry, and just say you'll work on it. It's simple mom," he stopped, seeing his mother begin to protest, it wasn't simple, Mike was too young and naive. </p><p>"I just don't want you two to fight...it's better when you're all kissy." Mike teased and Sara chuckled, playfully slapping his shoulder. </p><p>"And it's better for you when you're all reserved and serious, you're bad at jokes, Mike." Sara shot back.</p><p>"hey!!" Mike protested a little too loudly and Sara hushed him. </p><p>"Your sister's sleeping." she told him quietly.</p><p>And when Michael felt she was saying her final goodbye and about to leave, he went back to their bedroom. </p><p>When Sara went back to their bedroom, she found Michael sitting on the bed, as if waiting for her. </p><p>He got up, and crossed the distance between them both, craddling both her hands in his. </p><p>"You remember what we promised each other in Florida, after Kellerman exonerated us ?" Michael began in a soft voice and felt Sara's rigid posture melt away as she locked eyes with him.</p><p>"That no matter what happened, we'll always try to be better parents than ours had been." Michael said softly. </p><p>"And what are we doing ? Our main decision back then, was to never fight in front of our children." Sara swallowed.</p><p>"It won't happen again Michael, we both let things escalate, it was stupid." Sara shrugged, taking her hands back and moving past him.</p><p>Michael caught her arm gently. <br/>"No Sara, please, let me. I am so sorry for all the nonsense I said." He began, his eyes genuinely shining with regret. </p><p>"Michael it was all nonsense as you said, we're both high on emotions...I already forgot that, it's not what matters." Sara said trying to smile a little, show him she wasn't mad, she could never be with this man. </p><p>And even if he had said things that hurt, she understood him. It must be so hard to miss out on most of you firstborn's childhood years. </p><p>"But please...know that I am so sorry, I never meant to say that you are a bad mother, and you're not controlling, you're a mom, and that's just how possessive of your children you should be. And Sara.." Michael took a deep breath, looking down in shame and then back at her, Sara looked away, always avoiding his piercing blue eyes when they talked about this, about Jacob, which was almost never, bar the couple of times after his earlier come back, when Sara had expressed how guilty and awful she felt. </p><p>"I am sorry for bringing him up sweetheart, I shouldnt have, I know how much it affects you. I am so..so sorry. " Sara avoided his eyes, and he cupped her face between his hands and made her look at him.</p><p>"I am sorry Sara.." He said it again. </p><p>Sara nodded with teary eyes. </p><p>"I know." She nodded. "And I said some mean things too, I am sorry. I am sorry I hurt by saying you were gone. And you're not abnormal, you're everything to me." She apologised, quitely stroking Michael's chest with a thumb, a habit of affection she had developped since forever.</p><p>Michael pulled her to him, pressing her close and holding her tight. He stroke the top of her head, letting his own emotions out while she held him back, just as tight and let a couple of tears escape. </p><p>Michael backed and looked at her, their eyes shining with the same intensity and their lips locked, in a furious dance as both held each other's face and both still trembled with emotion. </p><p>Sara's hands fought with Michael's shirt and it was over his head and on the floor in an instant, she removed hers, and resumed kissing him while Michael took her to the bed, both falling onto the mattress with a thud, side by side, as they clawed at each other. </p><p>Michael fought with the hem of Sara's pajamas while she quickly got rid of his pants and they halted, cradling each other's face, Michael kissed her trembling lips, Sara responded, melting against him as he swiftly slid inside her, She gasped, both panted and she cradled his skull against her shoulder, her own hips moving to join his rythmic danse.</p><p>Afterwards, as they lay together, again, side to side and face to face. Sara pressed her lips together and sighed.</p><p>"You know why I let Faith alone and want to rush things with her ?" Sara let out in an emotional small voice, barely sounding like herself.</p><p>"Why ?" Michael asked stroking her bare arm.</p><p>"I am scared Michael. I am so scared this is going to affect her growth and developpement, forever. What if she can't talk, walk, grow normally." Sara expressed her worries, like she should have from the start, instead of them getting at each other like they did.</p><p>Michael sighed. "She will, she's strong, she's going to gain all her previous energy back, crawl from one side to the other, even climb the stairs and play all her wicked games with us..just like before." Michael whispered and Sara fondly recalled how Faith's nature never let her stay put, she was an overactive baby, never calm.</p><p>"You think so ?" Sara asked in a fearful voice.</p><p>"I know so." Michael promised. And bent to kiss her shoulder.</p><p>"And talk ? Sara have you heard that girl, she's a little scared, yes, and affected, but she already started to fight you back in the hospital." Sara chuckled. "And if she struggles with dad, she calls you mama now, all the times, doesn't she ?" Michael pointed and Sara nodded with tears in her eyes. </p><p>"She does.." Sara bit her lower lip.</p><p>Michael stroked her cheek and kissed her, she responded, her eyes closing...</p><p>Michael halted, and whispered against her lips. "I was scared too."</p><p>Sara's eyes opened, and she stroke his cropped hair.</p><p>"I am still so scared for her to hurt herself, physically, always will be maybe...because, after all that happened, seeing her in a hospital again would just be a phobia to me, I can't." He explained and Sara nodded in understanding.</p><p>"We were both worried about her, in different ways, and instead of talking about it we took it out on each other." she desolated. </p><p>Michael clapsed her hand. "It was me, I am sorry." </p><p>"No...maybe there is some truth to it. Maybe I am controlling and maybe I did...or was overprotective with Mike. Much more than I am now. And I am sorry Michael. But you have to understand that after you were gone, he was the only thing I lived for, for a long time, raising him was my only goal and I just..I think I developped this intense relationship with him, at least till your come back, where I was always protecting him, and maybe in that sense, I did in the start, micromanage you about him, but I don't do it anymore, do I ?" Michael nodded and stroked her back, right at the spot where he knew her blue crane tattoo was. </p><p>"You still think you're always right." Michael chuckled and Sara rolled her eyes with a small smile. "Okay, if this is about the phone thing or- " Michael cut her by pressing his lips against hers. "But I think you're an amazing mother, and you are indeed always right about Mike." Michael amended and Sara smiled. </p><p>"I was that good huh ?" She referred to their intercourse and Michael laughed pulling her a little closer, the nipples of her breasts brushing his bare chest as the tip of her toes tickled his ankles. She smiled against his skin, snuggling up against him and took a deep breath.</p><p>"But you do realise that you're much more overprotective with Faith. If I am the way I am, it's not because I am overconfident but I don't want to smother her the way I did Mike. Mike will always be damaged by our past. But Faith, I just want her to be normal...I dont want you to developp the almost toxic relationship I had with Mike at her age.." Sara insisted. </p><p>Michael nodded. "Okay. I understand, and I overreacted, I am sorry." He apolgised quietly. </p><p>"And...I think I've never voiced it, not to you, and god, I should have. But you're a great dad Michael, the best I could have imagined for my children. You may not do everything right but the way you love them, the way you look at each of them, like they're your aboslute life...it's all they need. And now I know that for them, you'd even be ready to fight me. And I have to admit, it does something to a part of me, to know that someone other than me adores them to this point." Sara smiled slowly at Michael and he pressed their foreheads together. </p><p>"I'll protect them from the entire world, you know that, and if I could put all the hapiness of this earth in their hands Sara, I would." He promised.</p><p>"I know, I know, love." Sara kissed him, softly.</p><p>"You know that the feelings I have for you, they're more than just physical.." Michael began and Sara closed her eyes holding him close.</p><p>"Michael, I never, never loved Jacob. Never in that way, maybe as a friend, as a companion ? But never like this, you're the love of my life." Sara said and Michael saw a single tear roll from her closed eyelids as her voice quivered with emotions. </p><p>"I was passive, I never initiated even a kiss. I was a cold stone. And if he thought that was love..he was a psychopath.." Michael sighed. </p><p>"You're right, but you don't have to explain yourself to me, Sara, please." Michael said softly. </p><p>"But I want to." Sara locked eyes with him, and he nodded. </p><p>Michael sighed, seeming to reflect on this. </p><p>"What ?" Sara probbed.</p><p>Michael stroked her hair and diverted his eyes to the roof. </p><p>"He used to tell me...about uh...your sexual life." Sara's eyes went wild and she pulled away, Michael painfully forced himself to continue. </p><p>"Never said your name. Always went with...his wife." Michael closed his eyes. </p><p>"I though he did it to sexually frustrate me ? I didn't care...the thought of you was enough for me, I loved...love you so much that it didn't change anything. He bragged all the time, with that smug on his face...now I realise why...whenever he said his wife, he was talking about you." <br/>Sara swallowed, closing her eyes in pain as she distanced herself further. </p><p>Michael reached out for her, pulling her back to him. "Please don't shut me out." he asked in a plea.</p><p>"If he ever bragged about anything to you, it was to make himself feel better, or to vent, because he knew how much I loved you, he could see you, in every hesitation of mine, every time we shared a bed, he knew I wasn't there with him, because I still loved you. And it made him mad, I knew it, it made him mad to see the intensity of my feelings for you. And he knew inside, that if I was still so attached to the ghost of you, it wouldn't take me one second to pick you the minute I got to know you were alive." Michael sighed, craddling her hand and kissed her again. </p><p>He snuggled against her. </p><p>"I know, I know sweetheart, I am so sorry for what he did to you." Michael kissed her palm.</p><p>He saw her lips part and then close again, she hesitated, lowering her eyes, and Michael hated that. She could tell him anything.</p><p>"What ? You can tell me, I am here." He said ever so softly, making up for his tone during their, as his fingers traced her chin. </p><p>"I used to have nightmares..they're not as frequent now, but right after you came back, they were recurrent." Michael nodded, he knew that, she sometimes shared back at the time, nights when she'd wake startled, absolutely disoriented and still thinking he was dead, that his coming back to hers wasn't real.</p><p>She sometimes had others, it was a period where his own PTSD and nightmares were so frequent that Sara had, to her credit, kept hers mostly hidden. She never wanted to burden him with more guilt. And she didn't knew if she should share this particular subject.</p><p>"Yeah, I know. But I am here now, I am right here." Michael stroked her cheekbone as she unconsciously gripped his bare waist tighter.</p><p>He didn't get it.</p><p>"No Michael...I meant uh..I used to have nightmares about Jacob, about Jacob raping me." Michael's hand froze as his eyes widened and shot to hers.</p><p>Sara looked away, at a blank point on their shared pillow.</p><p>"He was never forceful in real..never violent. But uh..in the nightmares, he was, and he was so harsh and he was just...raping me, sometimes even right under Mike's eyes." Sara's eyes filled.</p><p>"Sara..why didn't you tell me ?" Michael panted with worry, if she had been haunted with such images, why did she kept them bottled inside for so long.</p><p>"How do you wanted me to share that Michael ? We were rebuilding our relationship at the time...I didn't, I didn't think you'd want to hear about that." she whispered now, eyes closing. </p><p>"I realised that...I used to have those nightmares, because figuratively, that's what Jacob did." Her voice cracked. "He took you from me.." She sank further into him, his heart breaking at that. </p><p>"And I didn't knew who he was, so he raped me, over and over, and the worst is he even took the power to defend myself from me. Because I didn't know..he raped me Michael.." a single tear dropped on her cheek and Michael couldn't help but pull her right against his heart.</p><p>"Sara... I am so sorry, please don't cry." he could only sooth, rubbing her back up and down.</p><p>"And he hurt you too, put you through hell." She mourned and Michael closed his eyes breathing in her scent. "I hate him so much." She let out and Michael mirrored her feelings, he couldn't care less about what Jacob did to him, he could try to forget whatever he put him through, but there wasn't a cell that didn't boil and wish him hell because of how he used Sara, because of how he hurt her. </p><p>And now that he heard it from hear..the word rape and the wounded look in her eyes, he could never forget it. </p><p>All Sara did was hold his back, tightly, and inhaled to push back the tears.</p><p>They laid in silence for maybe half an hour, maybe more, holding each other. </p><p>Michael's hand trailed on her forearm, brushing against the softest of body hair. </p><p>"I need to know..and I want you to be absolutely honest. Do you ever feel like that..about us and when we..." Sara's eyes snapped open and she frowned at him before he could finish.</p><p>"Michael ? How could you imagine that ? No, no never.." Sara assured firmly, almost angry he could even think that. </p><p>"Because if it ever feels like I am breaching your limits, or violating you in any way, you need to tell me.." Sara shook her head. </p><p>"No, no, no...you don't understand, it's not physical. It's how he betrayed and cheated me, used me like a vulgar pawn. I know you love me Michael, you could never violate me..please don't compare yourself to him." She said in all honesty.</p><p>Michael sighed, as she rubbed his chest with affection. </p><p>"He loved you too, in his own twisted way." Michael forced out.</p><p>Sara shook her head. "It was obsession, he was obssesed, it's not the same." She said a tinge of anger in her voice. "He lied to me. Used me for his own advantage, played a role." Sara spit in disgust.</p><p>"I did all that too, at a time.." Michael sighed, the start of their relationship would leave him in guilt forever, his heart constricted painfully in his chest, he sometimes wondered if she knew how much she meant to him, in Fox River..</p><p>Did she still think she had been a pawn in his overall plan ? like in Jacob's ?  She knew he loved her, and as early as Fox River ? Did she knew he could have died to protect her already ? Did she sometimes doubt ? These questions made his heart bleed.</p><p>"Did you ever doubt...about us, if we were real, and do you still  ?" He asked with such a tender uncertainity that Sara's eyes snapped to him. </p><p>"No...Michael I never doubted your love for me.. I - he manipulated me, into believing that you maybe used me all this time. But I knew inside, I knew if you were alive, there had to be hell keeping you away from me..." Sara blinked, eyes moist. "And I could only remember the one time you did this, when you went to prison to keep me safe in Panama....and then guilt ate me, because I was safe, probably to your credit, and you were not, and I dare doubt for a second...I am sorry." she shut her eyes inhaling and Michael stroked her bare shoulder.</p><p>"And ofcourse I don't now, from the moment I saw you I knew we were real, more real than anything had ever been in my life. And  you've proved time and time again, that you love me so much you can give up our relationship as long as I am safe and sound." She craddled his hand, Michael nodded looking down. </p><p>"What you did in Panama, and then all these years....the lover in me hates that, hate that you could sacrify us for me, but the woman in me knows how much I meant to you, and that's not what Jacob did, he made me go through the worst pain of my life...losing you, just so he can have me, I hate him." She let out and Michael held her tighter, their chest pressed together. </p><p>Sara kissed him, passionately. "You make me feel loved, everytime, you make me feel wonderful, in all senses." She vowed, and that's all Michael needed to press his lips on her and feverishly kiss her...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the last chapter of this story I started a little less than a year ago when I recovered from the covid-19, all of us have gone through more or less though times this year and I hope my story helped some of your through it, thank you to all for reading.</p><p>I'd love reviews, and an epilogue might be coming up soon :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some Scofield family fluff to conclude this story.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sara came back from the grocery shopping, one bag in hand and Faith's seat in the other. </p><p>She sighed, putting one heavy bag on the counter and Faith's seat down, she unbuckled her immediately as Faith fussed slightly. </p><p>"da..da!" Faith squealed and crawled over to the loving room, where Michael napped on the couch. </p><p>Sara looked up, he must be so tired, this situation was an emotional toll on everyone and Michael couldn't sleep for nights, <br/>Sara tried to stay awake with him, never leave him alone, but she often sucombed to sleep.</p><p>"Hey no ! don't you dare wake dada." She instructed firmly. </p><p>Faith turned to her and frowned. "dada.." </p><p>"Yes dada needs his rest." Sara came to kneel to her level and removed her winter coat, taking her small gloves away. "So don't you wakey him, okay ?" she explained softly and kissed her forehead, taking the car keys from the counter and going to take the rest of the groceries bags, putting her stuff on the coat rack on the way.</p><p>Faith looked back at Michael, she crawled to the bottom of the couch. </p><p>"dada!" she squealed, after receiving no response she put her elbows on the couch and tried to climb up but failed, she huffed, trying again, her leg dangling in an unconfortable position and her waist slipped down. </p><p>Frustrated, she tried again and this time managed to ease herself right next to Michael. She tapped on Michael's cheek. "dada.." she slowly said and then grabbed his ear, playing with his face as he slept. </p><p>"Faith !" Sara exclaimed in a low voice coming back to see her right on Michael's sleeping shoulder. Faith squealed startled and laughed hiding behind Michael who let out a small groan the movement waking him up.</p><p>"How did you get up there ? I told you not to wake dada." Sara scolded once she left all the bags on the counter.</p><p>Michael blinked, his eyes still red with sleep. </p><p>"I am so sorry Michael, I tried to stop her." Sara desolated shaking her head. </p><p>Michael yawned and smiled grabbing Faith by the waist. "It's okay.." He kissed the side of her face. </p><p>"It's not, stop pampering her. She disobey all the time." Michael laughed at that remark as Sara went to the kitchen and began putting their groceries in cabinets. </p><p>"She's on you then.." Michael chuckled as Sara rolled her eyes shaking her head. </p><p>"She's my baby, she can wake me anytime." He craddled Faith against him sitting up slightly.<br/>"Besides, maybe I could actually get some sleep if her mom stopped snoring all night." He teased with a smirk, rubbing Faith's small back.</p><p>"I do not snore Scofield, that's diffamation and I could sue you for that." Sara slammed a cabinet in mock anger and he looked up at her. </p><p>Her hair was a natural messy, she was panting a little from carrying the groceries and the sun shone on her face, in patterns as she moved and opened and closed the glass made cabinets. She looked so beautiful. </p><p>"I love you." He let out affectionally and Sara looked up to watch him, bottle of olive oil in her hands, groggy as he just woke up, with their daughter craddled against his chest and her heart melted. </p><p>He looked adorable, salt hair appearing again as his dye wore off during quarentine. She smiled back tenderly. "I love you too Michael." </p><p>"Dad ! Can we do the trains setting now ?" Mike devaled down the stairs and asked. </p><p>Michael smiled, he had bought a miniature train collection to Mike and promised he'd set it up with him, it was a collection of real models, "very fancy stuff" as Sara had called them.</p><p>"Sure, if Faith here agrees." He looked down, Faith was calmly resting on him, not sleeping but relaxing entirely, her limbs spread out.</p><p>Mike sat beside them, leaning into Michael, who passed an arm over him and brought him closer. He loved his children so much, they were his and Sara's treasures, he adored them. </p><p>"Family hug without me ?" Sara teased from the other side of the kitchen and Michael chuckled. </p><p>"No one invited you." He quipped and Sara raised her eyebrows. </p><p>"Fair enough.." She said in mock annoyement and Michael laughed, kissing the top of Mike's head. </p><p>"No..no!" Faith pushed Mike away, jealous. </p><p>"Heyy, he is my dad before you!" Mike complained laughing and Faith babbled to him.</p><p>"Tell her dad, who is your favorite between the two of us." Mike asked and Michael laughed. "I love you both equally, there's no competititon, you're my first baby, and I am so fond of you, you were hope, and I loved you since mom hadn't even told me about you, but I just knew.." Michael smiled at him sharing a look of tenderness with Sara. </p><p>"And she here, she's new and she's my absolute sweetheart. She's a new chance and so precious.." He stroked Faith's light copper hair. </p><p>Mike smile, satisfied by the anwser.</p><p>"And you mom ?" Mike asked as Sara and she chuckled. </p><p>"I claim I love my children equally, but there's certainly one who was a quieter baby and much more easy to handle." Sara stated and Mike laughed. </p><p>"Faith is crazy." He kissed the babe's cheek and Faith gurgled happily. </p><p>"She is.. come here, today is dada's afternoon with Mike, let them be." She took her from Michael and Faith frowned looking at her, Sara frowned back, gazing back at Faith with a raised eyebrow and a serious look, and the baby laughed hiding in her mom's neck, Sara smiled rubbing her back. </p><p>"You two go." She ushered Michael and Mike off the couch, and watched them as Mike explained the technicity of their game and Michael aquiesed telling him something in reply as their voices muffled uptstairs. </p><p>"So ? What do we both do huh ? Would you let me have some tea ?" She asked with a smile kissing Faith's temple. She was so happy Faith was safe, it would have destroyed them, their couple and even their family if they lost her.</p><p>Faith babbled something in response and looked at her mom attentively before pinching her nose, playing with her skin. </p><p>Sara giggled "What are you doing ?" <br/>.....</p><p>Sara came back from work, in her scrubs, "Hey, anyone home ?" She greeted, finding it particularely quiet. </p><p>She made her way upstairs and Michael peered from the doorway of his office. </p><p>"Hi.." He greeted.</p><p>"Hey, where are the kids ?" she asked curiously, this much quietness was a luxury in their home.</p><p>"They're both napping, a miracle isn't it ?" Michael let out and Sara chuckled. </p><p>"Mike must be tired, god this homeschooling thing is terribly exhausting for kids, way more than school." She shook her head. </p><p>"Yeah, he's been doing homework till late yesterday. What's this ?" He pointed at flayers popping from her bag. </p><p>"Uh, we had an Union meeting today, just, need to share this around the neighborhood to inform everyone, if people don't see the importance of our Hospitals now, I don't know when they will." Sara shrugged. </p><p>Michael nodded pensively. "Freshen up and then I need to talk to you about something.." He nudged and Sara frowned a little. </p><p>"Nothing bad ?" She asked cautiously. </p><p>"No, no, don't worry. I just...depends on the way you see it but knowing you, I think you'll like it." </p><p>"Okay...I'll be quick." She smiled, stopping herself from touching him without having washed her hands. </p><p>Sara came back after a shower to find him sitting on his desk, she pecked him in greeting and sat on the little couch accross from him. </p><p>He turned to her, laptop in hands.<br/>"Okay, I want to resign." he let out watching for her reaction, his income was afterall consequent in their family, and he knew that this decision will have economical consequences, he wouldn't go on the path if Sara objected it or thought they needed the money. </p><p>She looked at him eyes widening a bit, "I thought you liked what you did ?" She asked bluntly.</p><p>Michael smiled a little, taking her hands in his, she was making it about him, and about what he felt, not the money, and his heart swelled with love, she was exactly the Sara he knew her to be. </p><p>"I like what I do, just not for this firm.." Michael said and let it sink and Sara pensively nodded. </p><p>"Is it the fact that your work from home ? I know it's depressing Michael, but we'll all overcome this.." She said sympathetically. </p><p>Michael shook his head. "No no no, it's not about quarentine. I was already losing interest and feeling detached from all of this, way before covid hit, but you were pregnant, and then Faith was small, I thought we needed the money.." Sara sighed.</p><p>"Why didn't you talk to me ?" she said feeling bad, a marriage and partnership and she didn't even knew her husband disliked his job ? </p><p>"High-risk pregnancy, premature newborn, then the messy situation at your Hospital after your maternity leave...you really think I wanted to worry or burden you with this ?" Michael let out stroking her hand. </p><p>Sara looked at him knowing his nature. How could Michael be any more...Michael ?</p><p>"But now I feel it's the right time, this crisis definetely made me realise a lot of things and I think its a good moment for a new start." he said more positively and Sara looked on. "Okay.." she said understanding. </p><p>"I just..I need to know if that's a road you're okay to go on ? I've talked with Mike already - " He was cut.</p><p>"You've talked with Mike ?" She aksed a bit taken aback, not offended, their son was big now, so understanding, and it could only make her happy that both her boys shared things, but a little surprised.</p><p>"Yeah..I mean just to know how he feels ?" He apologised. "I was going to tell you Sara, I just wanted to figure some things out and uh..I didn't want us both to impose our decision on him, I have made enough changes and havoc in his life already." Michael explained. </p><p>Sara frowned at this. "You've not," She scolded, almost. </p><p>"Okay okay...and he was fine, he said a lot of things that really made me feel less..guilty maybe ? He's all on board, money doesn't matters he says, and the more I see him, the more I think he is a copy of you, in terms of values. You raised him so well." Michael smiled and Sara chuckled. </p><p>"His nature is on you though.." She teased. </p><p>"Yeah, he's not doing any Revolution anytime soon.." Michael laughed. </p><p>"Faith got the spirits for that." Sara quipped and Michael chuckled. "She will get into so much trouble when she grows up.." he smiled fondly.</p><p>"So..?" He asked more seriously. </p><p>"Ofcourse I don't mind Michael, I'd hate you to keep doing a job you don't like and you know how I feel about your firm already.." Sara rolled her eyes and Michael laughed. </p><p>"I know..." He let out. "you can be happy I won't work with real estate gluttons...and I think you called them machos once ?" Michael laughed. </p><p>"They're such...don't make me swear now..with your boss that covered how that business partner raped his secretary.." She shook her head and he chuckled.</p><p>"So when are you quitting ?" Sara asked. </p><p>"If I send the letter now, a month." Michael said and Sara nodded.</p><p>"Okay, I've got no problem with that, we can live with my little 2k a month, and maybe you can join some boring art classes to express your talent now.." Sara quipped and Michael craddled her waist, delighted at her reaction, he knew her, but a doubt persisted in his head, always. What if he was not good enough ?</p><p>"Oh well, you know how I am always the man with a plan ?" Michael smiled.</p><p>Sara looked at him suprised. "You've already found something else ?" She asked. </p><p>"Something like that.. I've been on an engineers and architect forum since a while, you know where there's always lots of projects that are circulating..we just discuss geek engineer things usually...but with the election of Bernie Sanders, I've gotten a job offer." Sara's eyes widened, Bernie Sanders was barely sworn in, and the political tension in the country was explosive. </p><p>"You've gotten an offer from the Sanders administration ?" Her eyes widened and she shook her head. This was dangerous..</p><p>Michael nodded. "Something like that, they are creating a federal social housing agency, it's going to be permanent and independant tax fund, whatever happens next, no other President can undo this. And they want to build social housing complexes all around the US to fight against the housing crisis." Michael explained. </p><p>Sara nodded. "Okay.." </p><p>"And they need me, because with the crazy architectural wonders project offers they're getting, this will be by far the most challenging work of my life." Michael showed the power point to Sara, with 3D representations of the futurist neighborhoods with all kind of atypical architecture. </p><p>She chuckled. "I love it, the third one looks so cool." she exclaimed. </p><p>"Yeah..they're offering me the job and I might take it. I want to do something meaningful, be part of the solution, not the problem.." He quoted her and Sara chuckled blushing slightly. </p><p>"What's the offer ?" She asked. </p><p>"25 to 35 hours a week, in Chicago, they will open agencies in every city so we don't have to move and Chiacgo and New York will be in the center of the project, this is where they want to start." Sara nodded. </p><p>"Right, so we don't have to move.."</p><p>"Yes, I wouldn't do that again to Mike, he's made a home and roots here." Michael smiled. </p><p>"It's our city too." She smiled, recalling their Fox River days with an intensity, would this be how it worked out if they had met randomly in the streets of Chicago ?</p><p>"There's great benefits, guaranteed pension for me, two months of paid leave a year, free College education for both Mike and Faith, Healthcare taken care of.." Michael listed. </p><p>Sara smiled. "This does sound appealing.." She smiled, squeezing his hand in support. </p><p>"Yes, and it's ambitious projects, for new ways of life, that will probably change the real estate market entirely. I - for the first time since I got my job before Fox River, I am actually feeling ambitious and excited because look at these, god are these ambitious projects with the goal of guaranteeing housing to every American, and it drives and motivate me much more than building corporate towers." Sara listened and stroke his arm. </p><p>"How much is the pay ?" she asked. </p><p>"Less than this job, it'll near a little more than 3k a month." Michael let out, watching her expression. </p><p>Sara rose from the couch and kissed his lips, putting the laptop away on his desk and taking it's place on his lap. </p><p>"I am with you." She said grinning. "Whatever makes you happy Michael, and I am so glad you will be part of the change I want to see in the world." She said cockily and Michael laughed kissing her. </p><p>"Right, I don't care about the job I am just doing this to be the change you want to see.." He quipped making her laugh and she pecked his lips tenderly.</p><p>"I am also thinking something else.." He began.</p><p>"Whoa..great decisional day I see." She backed turning more serious. </p><p>He craddled her hand stroking her ring while Sara rubbed his chest.</p><p>"I realised what's really important with all of this, you, Mike, Faith... I want us to spend time together, just be more there for you, and specially for my children.. I want them to have the treasure childhood memories I never had." Sara kissed the top of his head at this, her head bursting with love. </p><p>"And I want to educate them, with the values their mother carries.. I fell in love with your devotion the first day I read about you.." he admitted and Sara smiled.</p><p>"I want us to sell whatever stock fund we have, I want our savings off the market, just cut off. I'll open an A booklet for Faith, we both have a common one and Mike has his, we're shifting everything to them. It's going to be deposit savings, no placement, no nothing. You know we dont have any credit or debt to pay, so they'll be enough whenever we need money, to buy cars or something, I don't know." Sara's eyes widened. </p><p>"And when did you have this realisation Mr.Scofield ?" she asked curiously, Michael seemed to want to draw a line and start afresh. </p><p>"With all of this pandemic mess, and because I have an amazingly inspiring wife... whatever happen, I don't want us to be part of the problem. The house is ours anyway." Sara nodded. </p><p>She recalled a little discussion they had before moving to Chicago, very early after Michael's come back, things were still messy, and their relationship still on the path of reconstruction.</p><p>Michael had wanted to put Mike in a private school in Chicago, a very expensive one, saying he wanted the best for his son and would do anything for him. Sara had looked at him, half fond, half scorning. </p><p>"You will do a lot of things for him Michael, but our son won't go to a private school. If I can't be the solution, I won't be the problem either." Michael had been taken aback, disagreeing, but hadn't pushed, he didn't felt very legitimate to take decisions about Mike back then. </p><p>And now ? he wholeheartedly agreed with Sara, Mike was doing great at school, he loved school, had friends, and Michael feared he won't, because of his reserved nature but also his parent's humiliating past. But there was no jugement in his school, every parent had a little baggage and no one took interest in anything but the children's well being. </p><p>He and Sara were members of the parents Union and regularely attended meetings to collectively better the lives of the kids. Mike loved group work, he was often the brightest and took great interest into helping and explaining things to his camrades. It was much better than the competitive and individual vibe private schools reinforced, the accent here was also put on relaxation time, it was important to remember that children were children, and that school shouldn't become a pressure or burden to them.</p><p>And Mike just had the toppest grades of the entire Illinois at State Exams, much better grades than most private school students. </p><p>"So all the credit goes to me." She said faking pride and Michael kissed her. </p><p>"Are you okay with this thought ? I don't want to impose anything on you - " Sara cut him. </p><p>"Oh Michael my heart can only be delighted that my children will make something of themselves on ethical bases, and that not a cent of that Wall Street greed will fund my household, we will be whatever we are because of our work and dedication, and that's the greatest example the father of my children can ever give them." She said fondly kissing him, Michael kissed her back, shutting the office door ar he carried her up in his lap and both on the couch. </p><p>Sara giggled quietly, kissing his neck and shifting them so she was on top. </p><p>"You know whenever you're this smart and come up with all sorts of plans...I really like it.." She said against his neck. </p><p>"What else do you like ?" Michael teased his hands slipping under her shirt making her sigh at his touch.</p><p>But whatever they had in mind was put to an abrupt stop when Faith's cries reasonated in the hallway. </p><p>Michael sighed and Sara laughed. </p><p>"Here goes your daughter.." he feigned anonymement.</p><p>"MY daughter ? I remember her claiming she only loves you." Sara slapped his cheek playfully.</p><p>"I'll got get her," Sara smiled and walked off while Michael rose, closed his laptop and decided to make them all some snack, time with his family was his only priority now, they meant his entire life. </p><p>.....</p><p>Michael woke up to the sun shining in Sara's face, illuminating her features, she was so beautiful, he thought tenderly.</p><p>"What are you staring at, Scofield ?" She whispered, eyes still closed but a smile beaming on her lips.</p><p>He chuckled, kissing her bare shoulder, and planting passionate kisses up at her clavicule and neck, up till her jawline.</p><p>She opened her eyes smiling even more as their smiles touched, Michael teased however, taking his lips back and pecking her over and over again. </p><p>Sara laughed, her arms going to rest behind the nape of his neck. "Just staring at how pretty my wife is in the morning.." he breathed and she laughed rolling her eyes. </p><p>"Oh yeah ? I'd like to know her secret, I don't look good at all when I wake up.." Sara said with a smirk and Michael kissed her neck again, passionately smootching his favorite spot under her left ear, she giggled, grasping his biceps as he purposely tickled her, nuzzling his nose in her neck.</p><p>"I like to think..maybe it's the love I have for her that makes me see her all pretty.." Michael teased, backing and tenderly putting a strand of her messy hair behind her hair. </p><p>Sara's lips parted in mock shock. "So you don't think she actually is pretty, she just looks that way to you ?" Sara attacked his neck too, fiercely. </p><p>Michael groaned quietly. "Technically, even colors aren't the way they are, they just appear so to us." She flipped over him, straddling his boxer clad waist. </p><p>"Why did I marry a genius already ?" She mocked, bending to passionately take his lips in hers, their crotch rubbed together, the friction heightening their senses as Sara's hands played with the waist band of his boxers.</p><p>Michael craddled her head, kissing her passionately and groaning as their arousals were only separated by the soft fabric of her panties. </p><p>"Because you couldn't resist him." He said smuggly and flipped her over, pinning her on the bed and she let out a laugh, their eyes locked before their lips, in passionate frenzied dance, while he worked to swiftly get rid of her panties.</p><p>Suddenly, small taps were heard against the wood of their door. </p><p>"Ma..ma." came Faith's voice. </p><p>Michael and Sara stilled, looking at each other startled.</p><p>Faith babbled some more, hitting the door again.</p><p>Michael growned at the position they were in. "Shh..sh-sh, pretend we're sleeping." Sara whispered, holding onto his neck. </p><p>Faith babbled once more, calling out to her parents. "We can't let her - " Michael's hands reached for his discarded boxers but Sara caught his wrist. </p><p>"Michael, don't you dare." She warned, her eyes dark with arousal as she looked down to their naked sexes, an inch away from joining. "she'll leave." Sara pointed. </p><p>Michael looked at her and sighed. "You're so baadd." He alongated teasing her bare nipples with his thumb. </p><p>Sara pressed her lips together in amusement.</p><p>"Faith no ! What are you doing, you'll wake them, that's not the plan." Mike's voice came through. </p><p>"That's my smart boy." Sara grinned and Michael chuckled, rolling his eyes. </p><p>Faith seemingly babbled something back but Mike carried her up and took her away as he distracted her, their voices too far to be heard. </p><p>"I think they're gone." Michael said. "Yeah, they're downstairs, Mike better teach her that dada needs some time to himself too sometimes. she's such a daddy's girl." Sara teased. </p><p>Michael laughed making her moan as they were still deliciously pressed together. "Well A, she was calling for you, and B, you mean time for her mommy, I am so tired of you girls being jealous of each other." He kissed temple and Sara smiled wickedly. </p><p>"Firstly, I am not jealous, and secondly, who won ?" Her eyebrows danced teasingly as she bit her lip seductively and rubbed herself against him.</p><p>Michael growled now, closing his eyes craddling her waist and finally joining them by one swift thurst. </p><p>Sara moaned quietly closing her eyes, he kissed her passionately as she panted, her hips moving with his rythm. </p><p>"Promise me..that we'll always make love like this, even when she's gone off to college, and we're all old." Sara whispered and Michael nibbled at the corner of her lips.</p><p>"I might need something to keep up with my uh..performance." He teased with one hard thurst emphasing his statement and Sara gasped, he silenced her squeal with his lips and she laugh-panted "I wouldn't worry about that." </p><p>....</p><p>After a quick, individual shower, Michael followed Sara downstairs as they heard their children in the kitchen. </p><p>"What mess have they made ?" Sara asked rhetorically and Michael chuckled hearing Faith's chirpy blabber. </p><p>"Nooo, put that down." Mike said to her, making Sara smile, he was so good as a big brother.</p><p>They turned the corner and saw Mike grabbing a spoon out of Faith's reach.</p><p>She was right on top of the counter, flour on her nose and all over her hands and clothes, she played with a piece of butter, rubbing it right on the counter. </p><p>"what's all this ?" Sara asked and Mike turned from his position over the stove. </p><p>"Mom ? Oh no, I knew she was making too much noise and would wake you. I wanted to surprise you both with breakfast." Mike let out and Sara smiled, the mess could be handled later, she brushed her hand in Mike's hair. </p><p>"And what are you making ?" Michael asked the boy bending over the pan to check. </p><p>"Blueberry pancakes." Mike grinned as Michael picked some berries and put them over in the pan. </p><p>Sara turned to Faith raising an eyebrow. </p><p>"What in the world is this, miss ?" She put her hands on her hips. </p><p>Faith blabbed. "mama.." and picked a tiny pinch of flour and reach over to Sara to feed her. </p><p>"No thanks." Sara laughed and took a hold of her hand and grabbed a tissue, cleaning her hands. </p><p>"God, you're awful." she scolded raising her hands up and realising this wouldn't be cleaned solely with tissues. </p><p>"Mom we're almost done, do you want jam or mapple syrup ?" Mike asked from the other side of the counter. </p><p>"Wait baby, I'll serve myself." She promised wiping the opposite counter where Faith sat. </p><p>"Sweetheart, do you want some coffee ?" Michael asked and Sara halted, a smile playing on her lips, her heart still melted at his pet name of affection.</p><p>"Yeah..coffee sounds good." Sara turned over to him and anwsered with a smile.</p><p>She turned back to see Faith reaching to grab one most fistful of flour. "hell no, you''ve done enough." she took the flour packet away and Faith whined, tapping her small hands against the counter Sara had just cleaned. </p><p>"Faith, you know this is bad, how will mama clean all this now ?" Sara scolded her a little and Faith watched as her mom took the broom to clean the floor, she turned the corner to the other side of the counter and to her shock, there was even more mess, flour and even an egg broken on the floor. </p><p>"Oh my god..." Sara exclaimed and looked up at Faith. She shook her head reprimandly but Faith made a gasp of shock at this and repeated : "oh..mad gad.." uncoherantly in the same tone as her mother. </p><p>Michael turned, as Mike laughed out loud. "she's mimicking you!" Mike chuckled hitting Faith's shoulder playfully and the baby laughed. </p><p>"Did she just say oh my god ? She's so quick at this, baby you're getting so smart.." Michael said in awe. </p><p>"Smart at being a trouble maker, come here you nasty girl." Sara reached out menacingly with a laugh and Faith squealed, pulling away.</p><p>She crawled to the other side of the counter and launched herself at Michael who received her with an "oof" of surprise. </p><p>"I almost missed you, crazy girl." Michael chastised kissing the top of her forehead.</p><p>She was so dynamic, and Sara laughed, allowing herself too, she had taught Faith could possibly not move again.. "Dad can't always save you from me."</p><p>"dada...da!" Faith hid herself in Michael's chest and Mike put a pancake off the pan and on the plate, Faith reached out for one with her dirty hands and Mike batted her hands away. </p><p>"Hey, no !" he let out taking the plate away.</p><p>"Okay, come here, you're such a trouble maker." Sara chuckled, she had forgotten how little Faith could be over active and completely drive them all mad.</p><p>It made her feel all fuzzy inside, she thought she would never see such moments with her babe again.</p><p>She reached out for Faith and took her from Michael putting her down. </p><p>Mike sat at the dinning table setting breakfast and putting the radio station on, on the music channel and Faith laughed, waving her hands with the music. </p><p>The three of them laughed and Sara gave her a look. </p><p>"to the bathroom Faith, let's clean you up before I have some breakfast.." she instructed and Faith crawled forwards. </p><p>"And I've got to clean all this, right ?" Michael asked sighing as Sara handed him the broom laughing slightly with an apologetic smile. </p><p>Their hands brushed and eyes locked. </p><p>"I am happy right now." Sara whispered with a content smile. </p><p>Michael craddled her face "me too." he smiled back, she closed her eyes leaning against his touch.</p><p>He hated to see her disheartened when Faith was in the hospital, he knew it would have broke something irreparable in her, he was really glad he got Sara's smile back in the same package as his little Faith. </p><p>"mamaa.." came Faith's voice from the hallway and Sara chuckled pulling away. </p><p>"I am coming.." she called back going out of the kitchen and Michael could hear her scold Faith as Faith babbled back equally, he smiled looking at Mike who had already began eating the hot pancakes. </p><p>"You could have waited for us." Michael stated. </p><p>"I could, but between Faith and her drama and you both getting all lovey, I think it would be dinner time already." Mike teased and Michael laughed. "Don't play smart with me, young boy." he warned lightly and Mike laughed as the music filled the air.</p><p>They were truly happy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here's the final period. Thank you so much to everyone for reading, I'd love your reviews.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just some time keeping.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I realise I did some big blunders with ages and with the Canon timeline. </p><p>The writers themsleves were quite ambiguous. Regardless of the real world, let's just take months. </p><p>Sara and Michael let in early April, Michael dies in November. So here is the timeline for the sake of this story : </p><p>Michael's birthday = october 8th (grave) <br/>Sara's birthday = may 1st (hottest april..)<br/>Mike's birthday = june 3rd  (fictional AU)<br/>Faith's birthday = 17th september </p><p>Season 5 :  (late june [ramadan], 6 years and 9 months after Michael's death, roughly 7 years)<br/>- Michael =   37 years old<br/>- Sara = 36 years old<br/>- Mike =  6 years old </p><p>Faith's was conceived in january, 1 year and 6 months after Michael's come back :<br/>- Michael =  39 years old<br/>- Sara =  37 years old<br/>- Mike = 8</p><p>Faith's birth day (september) : <br/>- Michael = 39 years old<br/>- Sara = 38 years old<br/>- Mike = 9 </p><p>This story takes place in march : <br/>Michael =  40 years old<br/>Sara = 38 years old<br/>Mike = 9 years old<br/>Faith = 6 and 1/2 months old</p><p> </p><p>Mike is 9, not older... I will correct that :)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope it's clear :)</p>
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